"Call It An Intervention" (LOTR RPS) (Liv, Bean, VM/OB) (PG-13, Language)
Title: Call It An Intervention
Authors: Leale
Rating: PG-13 (Language)
Fandom: LOTR RPS, Liv, Bean, VM/OB
Summary: "Liv, honey, that's their mess to fix. What do you want to do, lock them in a closet until they start making out?"
Feedback: Make the world go 'round.
Archive: Sure, just let me know.
Author's Note: Written for the lotrpschallenge Challenge #9: Time Differences. Oh, my gosh, what would I do without my valour and her fabulous beta? I would suck, obviously. This is actually sort of an interlude to the Stupid Bar Tricks series, but can absolutely be read on its own. It doesn't actually fall in a specific timeline or even have a bar in it. The slashees have been paired in absentia of actual lines.
Disclaimer: I have never met the men (or woman) mentioned in this story and I have no knowledge of their sexuality. Everything in this story has come completely from my imaginations.
Call It An Intervention
Liv tapped her nails impatiently on the nightstand as she waited for the operator to connect overseas.
"Mm? Hallo?" Sean sounded groggy and somewhat concerned.
"Sean, you need to come back!" she blurted out as soon as she heard his voice. "We have to hold an intervention, and soon!"
"Liv?"
"It's gotten bad, Sean."
"Can't be all that bad," he said, almost conversationally despite having obviously been woken up. "Didn't think the hobbits could get any more alcoholic than they already were."
"You're so not taking me seriously," Liv said, disappointment evident in her voice.
"3 a.m., luv. Just trying to figure out whose drinking habits could be so dire."
Liv's hand flew to her mouth. She stared at the steady red digital numbers on her own clock and added frantically in her head. No! She was supposed to subtract for London!
"Oh, Sean, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I totally did the time thing wrong. I'll call you back later, I promise."
"No! Liv! Wait!"
Liv held the phone gingerly to her ear and tapped her teeth against the knuckles of her right hand.
"Liv? You there?"
"I'm here," she said apologetically.
"All right." She could hear him pause to yawn in the background. "So I'm up, tell me what's going on. Who needs an intervention?"
Liv sighed. "Viggo. And Orlando, but mostly Viggo. Sean, you know as well as I do that Viggo likes Orlando. Why does he have to be so miserable about it? Orli's all wound up and Viggo's skulking around like the sun's gone away and well, we have to fix it," she finished in a breathless rush.
Sean chuckled. "Liv, honey, that's their mess to fix. What do you want to do, lock them in a closet until they start making out?"
"Do you think that would work?" Liv asked, half-hopefully. She huffed in exasperation.
"Liv…."
"I know. But I don't get it! I know Viggo doesn't want to hurt Orli, but he's not a kid. I just don't understand how they could be more miserable together than they are apart."
"Trust me," Sean told her, his voice dry, "it's more than possible."
"Oh." Liv didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."
"No, don't be." Sean sighed, an ocean away. "Look, I agree with you. Those two are barmy about each other. But look at it this way. All that fuss Vig's putting up? Those are very real possibilities to him. Real problems, y'know? Telling him they're silly won't make him not worry about them. He's gotta figure that out for himself."
"He's driving Orlando crazy."
Sean chuckled. "I don't doubt it. Thing is, if they started something up with Vig worrying about this and that and the other thing, and then trying to compensate for them all? It'd drive Orli even crazier and that'll bollocks up the whole thing. Better to get those things worked out first before dragging them into the mix, y'know?"
Liv sighed and fell over onto her side, pressing her cheek against the cotton of her pillowcase. "I guess."
"I know." Sean's voice was quiet. "You're a good friend to Orlando. And I try my damnedest to do right by Vig, even if he is enough to drive a man to drink."
Liv laughed out loud, snorting by accident. "You don't need a reason to drink," she reminded him, grinning at the memory of drunken fellowships past.
"See, now you're thinking." She could hear the smile in his voice through the phone and felt better for it.
"I still wish Viggo would get on the clue bus and admit he likes Orli. Because he does."
"I wish Vig would get his head out of his ass and go give the boy a proper shag."
"Sean!"
"Truth of the matter, darling. Orli's not looking for fancy dinners and candles."
"Ok, stop, I don't want to know." Liv squeezed her eyes closed and grinned. Her moment of scandalized surprise had passed quickly and she had to admit the truth in Sean's statement. "That's still a horrible thing to say."
Sean replied with a soft chuckle and Liv opened her eyes to see on the clock that they'd been talking for almost half an hour. "I should let you go," she sighed. "It's late."
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear." Sean's voice was soft and rueful.
"I know." Liv sighed. "I guess I'll just have to let them take things at their own pace."
"It's a good plan," Sean agreed.
"But it sucks."
"It'll just make it all the better if they get it worked out."
"Sure, I guess." Liv turned her gaze to her ceiling and thought of Orli asleep on her couch. "But I bet they won't even let me watch."
The shout of laughter from England caught her and pulled her under. Liv laughed with Sean until she was gasping, her face red and tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.
"And with that thought," Sean said, his laughter still barely contained, "I'm gonna say good night."
"Good night, Sean," Liv replied, holding the phone receiver with both hands as if she could reach through and hug him. "I'm sorry I bothered you so late."
"No bother," Sean assured her. "Take care of our boys over there, would you?"
"Of course."
"All right then. G'night."
"Good night." Liv set the phone down in its cradle and slipped off the bed. She padded to the door and opened it a crack. The narrow beam of light spilled out into the living room. She could see Orlando asleep on her couch, mouth open, dead to the world. She shook her head and closed the door again. She padded back to the bed and pulled the corner of the bedclothes down. She slid between the sheets before turning out the light and looked at the clock once more. She'd take care of her Elf and her Man, as she'd promised, but that didn't mean that Viggo didn't need a good talking to.
Fin
Authors: Leale
Rating: PG-13 (Language)
Fandom: LOTR RPS, Liv, Bean, VM/OB
Summary: "Liv, honey, that's their mess to fix. What do you want to do, lock them in a closet until they start making out?"
Feedback: Make the world go 'round.
Archive: Sure, just let me know.
Author's Note: Written for the lotrpschallenge Challenge #9: Time Differences. Oh, my gosh, what would I do without my valour and her fabulous beta? I would suck, obviously. This is actually sort of an interlude to the Stupid Bar Tricks series, but can absolutely be read on its own. It doesn't actually fall in a specific timeline or even have a bar in it. The slashees have been paired in absentia of actual lines.
Disclaimer: I have never met the men (or woman) mentioned in this story and I have no knowledge of their sexuality. Everything in this story has come completely from my imaginations.
Call It An Intervention
Liv tapped her nails impatiently on the nightstand as she waited for the operator to connect overseas.
"Mm? Hallo?" Sean sounded groggy and somewhat concerned.
"Sean, you need to come back!" she blurted out as soon as she heard his voice. "We have to hold an intervention, and soon!"
"Liv?"
"It's gotten bad, Sean."
"Can't be all that bad," he said, almost conversationally despite having obviously been woken up. "Didn't think the hobbits could get any more alcoholic than they already were."
"You're so not taking me seriously," Liv said, disappointment evident in her voice.
"3 a.m., luv. Just trying to figure out whose drinking habits could be so dire."
Liv's hand flew to her mouth. She stared at the steady red digital numbers on her own clock and added frantically in her head. No! She was supposed to subtract for London!
"Oh, Sean, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I totally did the time thing wrong. I'll call you back later, I promise."
"No! Liv! Wait!"
Liv held the phone gingerly to her ear and tapped her teeth against the knuckles of her right hand.
"Liv? You there?"
"I'm here," she said apologetically.
"All right." She could hear him pause to yawn in the background. "So I'm up, tell me what's going on. Who needs an intervention?"
Liv sighed. "Viggo. And Orlando, but mostly Viggo. Sean, you know as well as I do that Viggo likes Orlando. Why does he have to be so miserable about it? Orli's all wound up and Viggo's skulking around like the sun's gone away and well, we have to fix it," she finished in a breathless rush.
Sean chuckled. "Liv, honey, that's their mess to fix. What do you want to do, lock them in a closet until they start making out?"
"Do you think that would work?" Liv asked, half-hopefully. She huffed in exasperation.
"Liv…."
"I know. But I don't get it! I know Viggo doesn't want to hurt Orli, but he's not a kid. I just don't understand how they could be more miserable together than they are apart."
"Trust me," Sean told her, his voice dry, "it's more than possible."
"Oh." Liv didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."
"No, don't be." Sean sighed, an ocean away. "Look, I agree with you. Those two are barmy about each other. But look at it this way. All that fuss Vig's putting up? Those are very real possibilities to him. Real problems, y'know? Telling him they're silly won't make him not worry about them. He's gotta figure that out for himself."
"He's driving Orlando crazy."
Sean chuckled. "I don't doubt it. Thing is, if they started something up with Vig worrying about this and that and the other thing, and then trying to compensate for them all? It'd drive Orli even crazier and that'll bollocks up the whole thing. Better to get those things worked out first before dragging them into the mix, y'know?"
Liv sighed and fell over onto her side, pressing her cheek against the cotton of her pillowcase. "I guess."
"I know." Sean's voice was quiet. "You're a good friend to Orlando. And I try my damnedest to do right by Vig, even if he is enough to drive a man to drink."
Liv laughed out loud, snorting by accident. "You don't need a reason to drink," she reminded him, grinning at the memory of drunken fellowships past.
"See, now you're thinking." She could hear the smile in his voice through the phone and felt better for it.
"I still wish Viggo would get on the clue bus and admit he likes Orli. Because he does."
"I wish Vig would get his head out of his ass and go give the boy a proper shag."
"Sean!"
"Truth of the matter, darling. Orli's not looking for fancy dinners and candles."
"Ok, stop, I don't want to know." Liv squeezed her eyes closed and grinned. Her moment of scandalized surprise had passed quickly and she had to admit the truth in Sean's statement. "That's still a horrible thing to say."
Sean replied with a soft chuckle and Liv opened her eyes to see on the clock that they'd been talking for almost half an hour. "I should let you go," she sighed. "It's late."
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear." Sean's voice was soft and rueful.
"I know." Liv sighed. "I guess I'll just have to let them take things at their own pace."
"It's a good plan," Sean agreed.
"But it sucks."
"It'll just make it all the better if they get it worked out."
"Sure, I guess." Liv turned her gaze to her ceiling and thought of Orli asleep on her couch. "But I bet they won't even let me watch."
The shout of laughter from England caught her and pulled her under. Liv laughed with Sean until she was gasping, her face red and tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.
"And with that thought," Sean said, his laughter still barely contained, "I'm gonna say good night."
"Good night, Sean," Liv replied, holding the phone receiver with both hands as if she could reach through and hug him. "I'm sorry I bothered you so late."
"No bother," Sean assured her. "Take care of our boys over there, would you?"
"Of course."
"All right then. G'night."
"Good night." Liv set the phone down in its cradle and slipped off the bed. She padded to the door and opened it a crack. The narrow beam of light spilled out into the living room. She could see Orlando asleep on her couch, mouth open, dead to the world. She shook her head and closed the door again. She padded back to the bed and pulled the corner of the bedclothes down. She slid between the sheets before turning out the light and looked at the clock once more. She'd take care of her Elf and her Man, as she'd promised, but that didn't mean that Viggo didn't need a good talking to.
Fin