(no subject)
Well looks like I get the award for most popular person; everyone and their mothers came up to me today asking if I was quitting machine. I like misleading people and giving them completely opposite answers- there was a hell no, an of course, and a who knows all thrown in there somewhere. I pretty much isolated myself today to make sense of all the mumbo jumbo going on in my head. I hate having inherited all these negative traits from my father (being stubborn, prideful, MOODY, defensive, selfish) and not being able to control them. Trust me, I'm aware they're out there and I try my best to change that or at least control it but it's so fucking hard. I've ALWAYS had en extremely difficult time dealing with my pride, more so lately than ever. I've been such a BITCH lately (PMS) that I take it out on others, my best friends, and that just adds so much more stress. I owe an apology to so many different people and as soon as I let my guard down and punch my pride in the face will I be able to feel better about myself. This rant had absolutely nothing to do with machine so let me get back to what I was talking about earlier. I talked to Mrs. Ronacher today, and boy was I wrong. She is such an understanding person who knows exactly what I'm feeling (probably because this isn't a new situation for her haha) and basically just got me to realize that I'm stupid and need to stop being such a pansy about everything. Yeah it's called life Kim, you win some you lose some. And the only way I'm going to have an awesome time in machine next year is if I MAKE it an awesome time! I'm growing to love Raquel, Britney, Robert, Jacob, Danielle, Dana, Jake, etc etc more and more everyday as plans for next year roll around..and all those people I was never really close with become to be my true second family. Why not turn this situation into a learning experience and make use of what I have now? I'm section leader goddammit, and for a second year in a row. Power and prestige isn't given to those with titles, it's given to those leaders who take action. So i'm gonna stop whining now, change my attitutde, love myself, and do just that (: