Snowballing [Oneshot]
Title: Snowballing
Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: I own......a pretty DBSK charm thingy. T.T It's on my purse...displaying my true loves to the world! :'D
Pairing: JaeMin
Length: Oneshot
Genre: smut, romance, angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: sex, high school!Min, college!Jae, language, slight kink!snowballing
Summary: Little by little Jaejoong is slowly losing control. But it's too late and he's helplessly in love.
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Snowballing
No way this bitch is seventeen.
"Mmm, mm, mmph, mmphmm?"
I gulp. Hard. "W-what?"
Changmin's mouth slides off my cock and his eyes are grinning. "You like that, Jaejoong?"
I hate him so much. So much I wish he'd wrap his lips around my cock and shut the hell up.
It's like this kid can read my thoughts written across my forehead in purple ink and block letters and he does what I didn't say and I love him again.
He engulfs me in one go. Like a professional. Like a whore. My head spins and I'm left dizzy all over again. I'd ask if he's done this before but I don't want to know.
I love the way he mumbles with the tip of my cock grazing the back of his throat.
"W-what?" I repeat, raspy, exhausted and a little annoyed. He's drained me already but the prickles of sweat beaded all over our bodies say it's gonna be a long night.
Changmin runs his tongue flat along the underside of my cock, massaging the vein as his head bobs up and down in rhythm. The back of his mouth contracts around my tip, squeezing it while he bobs, now in a twisting motion. Damn, if there's a cock-sucking class in high school these days, this kid must be acing it.
Lazily, he pulls up, giving the side of my dick a cursory lick. His slender hands slowly rub the back of my thighs. When he looks up at me, his eyes aren't grinning anymore. Instead, they're fucking me rough and hard and that's a promise.
Changmin takes a loose fist, fingers barely ghosting my sticky skin and lightly trails it up and down my length, leaving me squirming. He presses his lips to the tip and speaks into the slit, lapping up pearled beads every now and then while I figure out what language it is I speak again.
"Make something for me when I'm done with you."
Bastard. I'm hovering too close to orgasm to roll my eyes without them staying there. "I'll make you breakfast in the morning."
"I've got school tomorrow. And I'm hungry now."
I watch him, lips pressed against me, eyes on me and I almost feel shy. "You should be sated by now," I mumble.
"I'll never have enough of you."
I want to tell him how stupid he sounds, but suddenly his fingers are rolling my balls between them, pressing them back and rolling them again. His licks press between the flesh of my slit briskly but feather-light, teasing. I sigh, huge and desperate, my words coming out rushed, a couple near panicked octaves higher than usual. "Hurry."
I can feel the little bastard grin against my engorged tip but he proceeds with his torture anyway. "Feed me."
Shit, I'm head over heels over and over, fallen off a cliff, deeply, stupidly, messily in love with him. "Changmin."
He's not an honor student for nothing, so he gets the picture pretty quickly. He tightens his grip around my cock but he knows damn well it's not enough. He takes only the tip into his mouth and fuck it, I guess he's gonna be an ass the whole way through. He knows me too well.
And so, with handfuls of cotton sheets in both hands and a heaving chest, I throw my head back against the pillow and wait for this kid to make my toes curl.
He pumps his fist at a moderate speed. But what really keeps me teetering over the edge of crazy is the I'm-gonna-fuck-you-til-you-cry gaze he keeps steady on mine.
His tongue swirls and I'm seeing stars, the kind that fall. The little shit isn't even stroking, really. His hand is going from the base to tip and down again but he's barely touching me and it's never enough to make me explode right now the way I want.
His hand on my balls scatters my thoughts, playing and rolling the sack like it's a toy for his own pleasure. And his mouth and tongue work the tip like a whore works the corner, massage around the tender rim like masseuse with a happy ending, plunging through the slit like an idiot fallen in love and makes me squirm like a restless child.
He has me in the palm of his hands forever. And it's this kind of torture I can't get enough of. I'd never considered myself much of a masochist before him.
Changmin's ministrations and that look in his eye ease me toward the peak. My hips gyrate helplessly but I can't thrust up. It's not what he wants. He wants me to lie back and let him plant the seed of pleasure deep inside me and slowly, steadily cultivate me into full bloom.
And just when he has me short of breath and seeing spots, he holds me at the plateau for so long, teasing my swollen cock, coaxing languid waves pleasure out of me, I swear I've tasted insanity. And then he nudges me over the edge.
I'm in slow motion. Someone shouts his name but I guess that was just me. My hips pull up off the mattress with the force of my climax and it's like I'm falling up, my body defying gravity, tumbling toward the clouds as bursts of pleasure pulse just beneath my skin.
There is no flash of white.
Changmin hungrily takes me fully into his mouth and shuts his eyes, letting me fill him. It's just about the hottest damn thing I've ever seen. I'm still panting when I've emptied myself into him and he sloppily slides off my limp cock.
I swallow to keep my voice even, "Min..." I don't even know what I'm about to say. I'm blown away. Quite literally.
He says nothing. Just looks at me with that look. There's a trail of pearly white dripping from the corner of his pursed mouth. Before I can think to lick it up, Changmin practically lunges at me, pinning me to the bed and prying my lips open with his salty-sweet tongue.
I'm too far gone and buried under post-orgasmic bliss to protest when he passes half a mouthful of my own cum into my mouth, churning the thick liquid around with his tongue, our tongues, and I fall into the kiss.
It's messy. And I know I've got about as much cum dripping down my chin as he does, perhaps more but it's his warm hands firmly holding my face in place that have me mesmerized.
After we've both swallowed our shares, Changmin's hands trail down my chest, brush against my nipples and finally settle around my hips. He kisses away the mess streaming down my neck and I wrap my legs around his waist and enjoy.
"What was that?" I murmur sleepily into his hair. "It's new."
Changmin grins crookedly. "It's called snowballing. When I pass cum from my mouth to yours. And then it seems like there's more and more cause the spit mixes in til we can't keep it in our mouths anymore. Sounds a little gross if I explain it. You've never done it?"
"You have?" I try not to sound like a jealous boyfriend because that's not what I am.
He's still grinning when his arms encircle me entirely and he rolls us over til I'm lying on his chest. "I just did. With you."
He knows what I'm thinking. He always does. Always did. It's how I ended up in this mess in the first place. And now he's toying around the answer he knows I want and there's nothing more I'd like to do than bite his freaking nipples off. Or kiss him again.
"You're a freak."
"You liked it."
He reads me like a fucking book.
I swirl my tongue inside my mouth, revisiting the aftertaste of myself and Changmin mixed together. "What do they teach you in high school nowadays?"
He snorts. "Life skills. What do they teach you in college?"
I lap up traces of cum left on his chin. It's just the tip of my tongue but I hope it drives him crazy. Eventually when I run out of cum, it turns into a trail of light kisses along his jawline. He's mine. He has to be. "I got into med school."
"Congrats," is all he says. He's like that. The first time I met him, all he said was, 'Let's go.'
"It's gonna be hard. I'm surprised they accepted me in the first place." I know my kisses are growing more needy but I'm overflowing and I want him to as well. "It's like, so I'm in...now what?"
"Jae," He says my name gently, unexpectedly. "I look up to you, you know."
My kisses stop and I stare. Where is this going?
He looks back and it's a rare sight, Changmin so serious. But he's also soft and genuine and I suddenly remember that he's still a boy.
"No matter how tough it is, you can do it. You always do. It's your best quality."
I'm falling apart into all the right pieces. But that stupid, crooked grin has done a lot more damage. Like when it started this whole thing that night me and a bottle of Corona followed that underaged kid to the club dance floor, to the bathroom sink and in the back of Yoochun's car months ago.
Changmin's good at what he does: Basketball. Math. Blowjobs. But he's better at mapping me out and exploring without my permission.
"What's my best feature?" He leaves a kiss on my chin.
"Your cock."
Changmin snorts. His hands drift down to the swell of my ass. "I know. But what do you like best about me?"
Arrogant bastard. It was supposed to end that night on the dance floor. It was supposed to end after he had me bent over the bathroom sink. It was supposed to end after we left cum stains in the back of Yoochun's car. (He was pissed as hell, by the way.) But all along, this little bastard knew he could get more out of me no matter how much I pulled back.
"Your mouth." I lean down and savor his taste. His lips are so warm and soft, I melt a little. He kisses back, opening up for me, holding me tight and for a second I fool myself into believing he wants me as much as I need him.
Changmin pulls back and smirks. "Whatever. You hate my mouth."
"You're right. You talk too much."
"You hate when I say what you're thinking."
Dammit.
"You know I hate it, so why keep doing it, asshole?"
"I like being inside you." He grins deviously. "But not like that. Well, yeah, like that, too." Then he pauses to think. He hates being cute. But as he scrunches up his brow in thought, tip of his tongue poking out slightly, it's inevitable. If I laughed out loud, he'd probably get pissed. "Your mind is exclusive. And I'm the only one who knows how to pick the lock."
With a sneaky grin, he squeezes and massages my ass and yes, I moan because it's what he wants and what Changmin wants, he gets. At least from me. A finger slides down my crack back and forth til he settles the pad over my hole, presses there and whirls it around in tiny circles til I can feel both our cocks stirring again.
My breathing is labored and heavy but my heart is fluttering. "How do I keep you out?"
Changmin is not a book.
He's more like a painting. A masterpiece hung up on the wall for all eyes to interpret. But I'm not smart enough to understand. His splashes of color, bold strokes and obscure messages confound me.
I have no idea what he means when he looks at me right now but I do know that somehow he is undressing my naked body right down to the soul.
"You won't." He says softly.
Just one look into his eyes and that mouth I hate so much and I already know the choice I'll make. I'd readily dive into complete darkness on the blind assumption that he'd be at the bottom waiting to catch me. But the sane part of me is begging to leave this thing without hurdling to the ground with a resounding splat.
I'm hopeless. "I can't."
He opens his mouth again but but there's only so much of that thing I can take in one day. My lips crash into his, anything to shut him up.
Changmin doesn't complain when my tongue swipes between his lips and he parts them, letting me fall in. His hands are stilled while mine trail softly up and down his chest, stopping only to draw circles and figure eights. And I celebrate every time his chest rises and falls beneath mine because he's alive with me.
Our cocks, resting against each other between our abdomens, begin to thicken and I want nothing more than to let Changmin take charge and fuck me into the floor, but I'm addicted to the taste of his mouth and silly delusions that he won't leave for school in the morning or in the middle of the night or while I'm kissing him and I realize he's a dream.
I sit up, hands propped on his chest and grind. It's one of those few moments he lets me take control. I like to believe it's because he knows sometimes I need this. To feel like I'm calling the shots even though I know it's only pretend and sooner or later someone will come along and fuck me over anyway. I like it better when Changmin's that someone, though, because he leaves bruises on my wrists and lips.
I don't get much preparation tonight. He likes it rough. Just spit and one finger as I rub my cock against his and watch that look-god, he's amazing when he's turned on as fuck-on his face grow into reality.
He throws me on my back, wrists pinned above my head the way we like it. When he sinks into me, he isn't gentle. Unlike his blowjobs, he's impatient and savage and he scrapes and scratches rather than caresses and teases. Probably because he knows now his orgasm is at stake, too. Little bastard.
It hurts like hell at first but it's more painful to think I'm probably not the only one who aches like this for him. For right now it's good enough to know he's here for the moment and eventually I can let go and moan the way he wants me to.
No condoms because somehow I still trust him. I love it when he bites hard enough to break skin and pants because I'm tight enough for him and strokes my cock like he's mad at it. I love it. I love it all. I'd never tell him. He'll figure it all out for himself soon enough if he hasn't figured it out yet. And he will. Soon. It makes it easier for him to play with me.
"Fuck," He hisses into my newly be-speckled neck. He keeps a painful grip on my wrists the whole way through. I love it. God, I love it. "You're so hot."
"Min, please..." I whimper. It's embarrassing the way this high school kid breaks me down like this.
Changmin knows what I'm begging for. He gives it to me harder, hand working my cock between our chests. He mumbles something in my ear. I'm not sure what it was but I suspect it was a naughty compliment.
"I'm close."
"Me, too." His hand on my cock picks up the pace. His voice sounds clipped and rough like gravel. I feel satisfaction in knowing that right now I'm doing this to him. "You feel so good."
"Am I better than..."
At first, I'd started saying it as a joke to distract him. To distract him from the love I'm making to him. To convince him and remind myself that this is just the fucking we're so damn used to.
But it was such a stupid question. A stupid, stupid question. The kind of question that was stupid because I didn't want to know, yet I still asked. Because the answer could shatter every illusion I've constructed for myself in the last few months.
The illusion that I'm still the cool and aloof older man, using this kid to get off when everyone else bores me. The fantasy that even though in the beginning it was obvious he had many playmates which I hadn't cared about at the time, that maybe now that time had passed, it was me he called at night and me he daydreamed about in class and only me he fucked til the moon faded with the sunrise. Because it was certainly true for me. It was the beginning of a truly stupid question. How the hell had I gotten into med school?
Changmin suddenly looks at me, still thrusting but even in the darkness, I can see his eyebrows are furrowed. I watch his Adam's apple dance in the shadows as he swallows.
He doesn't answer at first. Instead, he pulls out, almost completely unsheathing himself, and then slams back in, striking my sweet spot dead on with enough force to make me weep.
I arch off the bed almost violently, mouth agape in a harsh gasp. Changmin releases my wrists and pulls me closer to him, nearly too tight to breathe. His voice is ragged and strained when he whispers into my ear. It isn't until I hear what he says that I realize he's not like this because my sex is so good, but because I plague him with emotion.
"Only you, Jae. Only you."
He yanks me, crashing into an open-mouthed kiss, pulling hair and gnashing teeth. It's a kiss so deep, I wish I could drown and end it all. It's too deep and I'm overflowing again. But I don't want to burst. Not in front of him.
And so when I try to break away from the kiss and push him away, the way he pulls me back and opens me up again just makes the realization that much more real that this is his confession.
He's fucking me harder. Kissing me harder. And it might be the first time I've ever considered that maybe he loves this, maybe he needs this as much as I do.
I haven't had a chance to come up for air when Changmin grunts into my mouth and I feel something warm spread inside me. It feels so good, I could cum from that alone but Changmin strokes me off fast anyway, the quick sound of skin slipping against skin shoving me even harder over the edge and between our chests.
His hips are still, flaccid cock still buried inside me but we're still kissing. I cling to him as he holds me tight and I'm inexplicably happy to discover that I love this, too. Changmin holds me. Not grabbing his pants and a snack and walking out the door. He's holding me. Til he has to kiss away any evidence that he may or may not have actually fucked me til I cried.
I want to taste my salt on his lips again. I kiss him full on the mouth because there's no turning back now. Hasn't been for a long time.
We kiss til Changmin starts moving again. I've barely recovered from my last spill. But I'll give Changmin anything he wants.
But this time is different. He's not rough. But he's not gentle. His cock barely pulls out before he jerks back in at a steady pace, arms wrapped around what feels like every damn inch of me as if I'd dare run away. So tight, I can hardly breathe against his neck and it feels like he's lit a wildfire within me as he screws his eyes shut tight and whispers things in my ear I don't think either of us understand.
He's desperate.
Changmin keeps going til we both cum again. But even after that, he doesn't stop. It's as if so much time wasted on pretending and screwing and prolonging the idea in my head that he still kept those other playmates when maybe he'd slowly deserted them over time because he's every bit as helpless as I am, keeps him drilling me til I forget everyone including myself and fall in love with him. It's too late, Min. It's too late.
We're both cringing from members still sensitive from the last orgasm and slowly overwhelming ourselves but it's hard to care. His colored cheeks say he wants to be close to me. His strokes say he wants me to feel good. His message is that he'd throw away everything for me.
And so we get hard again and cum again and I'm left staring at the ceiling oddly thankful of dumbass questions.
We lie there like that. Me staring, Changmin spent on top of me. No kissing, no talking, no thinking. What may have been around thirty minutes later, he pulls out of me and lies on his stomach still halfway on top of me. I think we're both afraid to stop touching.
"Breakfast sounds good." His voice sounds far away.
"Okay."
"Maybe lunch, too. And dinner. And breakfast again."
I look at him and he's staring at me. "You have sch-"
"Fuck school."
It's a nice sentiment to doze off to. I know it's probably selfish but I need him right now. His 4.0 can wait.
I don't know when exactly it was that I drifted to sleep but when I wake up, it feels like 4am-ish and Changmin's between my thighs, my legs thrown over his shoulders.
"I want pancakes." His fingers graze down my abdomen. He's in a teasing mood again. "With apple juice."
I don't object. With my silence and soft moan as he enters, we both know I'll give him anything. Everything.
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Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: I own......a pretty DBSK charm thingy. T.T It's on my purse...displaying my true loves to the world! :'D
Pairing: JaeMin
Length: Oneshot
Genre: smut, romance, angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: sex, high school!Min, college!Jae, language, slight kink!snowballing
Summary: Little by little Jaejoong is slowly losing control. But it's too late and he's helplessly in love.
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Snowballing
No way this bitch is seventeen.
"Mmm, mm, mmph, mmphmm?"
I gulp. Hard. "W-what?"
Changmin's mouth slides off my cock and his eyes are grinning. "You like that, Jaejoong?"
I hate him so much. So much I wish he'd wrap his lips around my cock and shut the hell up.
It's like this kid can read my thoughts written across my forehead in purple ink and block letters and he does what I didn't say and I love him again.
He engulfs me in one go. Like a professional. Like a whore. My head spins and I'm left dizzy all over again. I'd ask if he's done this before but I don't want to know.
I love the way he mumbles with the tip of my cock grazing the back of his throat.
"W-what?" I repeat, raspy, exhausted and a little annoyed. He's drained me already but the prickles of sweat beaded all over our bodies say it's gonna be a long night.
Changmin runs his tongue flat along the underside of my cock, massaging the vein as his head bobs up and down in rhythm. The back of his mouth contracts around my tip, squeezing it while he bobs, now in a twisting motion. Damn, if there's a cock-sucking class in high school these days, this kid must be acing it.
Lazily, he pulls up, giving the side of my dick a cursory lick. His slender hands slowly rub the back of my thighs. When he looks up at me, his eyes aren't grinning anymore. Instead, they're fucking me rough and hard and that's a promise.
Changmin takes a loose fist, fingers barely ghosting my sticky skin and lightly trails it up and down my length, leaving me squirming. He presses his lips to the tip and speaks into the slit, lapping up pearled beads every now and then while I figure out what language it is I speak again.
"Make something for me when I'm done with you."
Bastard. I'm hovering too close to orgasm to roll my eyes without them staying there. "I'll make you breakfast in the morning."
"I've got school tomorrow. And I'm hungry now."
I watch him, lips pressed against me, eyes on me and I almost feel shy. "You should be sated by now," I mumble.
"I'll never have enough of you."
I want to tell him how stupid he sounds, but suddenly his fingers are rolling my balls between them, pressing them back and rolling them again. His licks press between the flesh of my slit briskly but feather-light, teasing. I sigh, huge and desperate, my words coming out rushed, a couple near panicked octaves higher than usual. "Hurry."
I can feel the little bastard grin against my engorged tip but he proceeds with his torture anyway. "Feed me."
Shit, I'm head over heels over and over, fallen off a cliff, deeply, stupidly, messily in love with him. "Changmin."
He's not an honor student for nothing, so he gets the picture pretty quickly. He tightens his grip around my cock but he knows damn well it's not enough. He takes only the tip into his mouth and fuck it, I guess he's gonna be an ass the whole way through. He knows me too well.
And so, with handfuls of cotton sheets in both hands and a heaving chest, I throw my head back against the pillow and wait for this kid to make my toes curl.
He pumps his fist at a moderate speed. But what really keeps me teetering over the edge of crazy is the I'm-gonna-fuck-you-til-you-cry gaze he keeps steady on mine.
His tongue swirls and I'm seeing stars, the kind that fall. The little shit isn't even stroking, really. His hand is going from the base to tip and down again but he's barely touching me and it's never enough to make me explode right now the way I want.
His hand on my balls scatters my thoughts, playing and rolling the sack like it's a toy for his own pleasure. And his mouth and tongue work the tip like a whore works the corner, massage around the tender rim like masseuse with a happy ending, plunging through the slit like an idiot fallen in love and makes me squirm like a restless child.
He has me in the palm of his hands forever. And it's this kind of torture I can't get enough of. I'd never considered myself much of a masochist before him.
Changmin's ministrations and that look in his eye ease me toward the peak. My hips gyrate helplessly but I can't thrust up. It's not what he wants. He wants me to lie back and let him plant the seed of pleasure deep inside me and slowly, steadily cultivate me into full bloom.
And just when he has me short of breath and seeing spots, he holds me at the plateau for so long, teasing my swollen cock, coaxing languid waves pleasure out of me, I swear I've tasted insanity. And then he nudges me over the edge.
I'm in slow motion. Someone shouts his name but I guess that was just me. My hips pull up off the mattress with the force of my climax and it's like I'm falling up, my body defying gravity, tumbling toward the clouds as bursts of pleasure pulse just beneath my skin.
There is no flash of white.
Changmin hungrily takes me fully into his mouth and shuts his eyes, letting me fill him. It's just about the hottest damn thing I've ever seen. I'm still panting when I've emptied myself into him and he sloppily slides off my limp cock.
I swallow to keep my voice even, "Min..." I don't even know what I'm about to say. I'm blown away. Quite literally.
He says nothing. Just looks at me with that look. There's a trail of pearly white dripping from the corner of his pursed mouth. Before I can think to lick it up, Changmin practically lunges at me, pinning me to the bed and prying my lips open with his salty-sweet tongue.
I'm too far gone and buried under post-orgasmic bliss to protest when he passes half a mouthful of my own cum into my mouth, churning the thick liquid around with his tongue, our tongues, and I fall into the kiss.
It's messy. And I know I've got about as much cum dripping down my chin as he does, perhaps more but it's his warm hands firmly holding my face in place that have me mesmerized.
After we've both swallowed our shares, Changmin's hands trail down my chest, brush against my nipples and finally settle around my hips. He kisses away the mess streaming down my neck and I wrap my legs around his waist and enjoy.
"What was that?" I murmur sleepily into his hair. "It's new."
Changmin grins crookedly. "It's called snowballing. When I pass cum from my mouth to yours. And then it seems like there's more and more cause the spit mixes in til we can't keep it in our mouths anymore. Sounds a little gross if I explain it. You've never done it?"
"You have?" I try not to sound like a jealous boyfriend because that's not what I am.
He's still grinning when his arms encircle me entirely and he rolls us over til I'm lying on his chest. "I just did. With you."
He knows what I'm thinking. He always does. Always did. It's how I ended up in this mess in the first place. And now he's toying around the answer he knows I want and there's nothing more I'd like to do than bite his freaking nipples off. Or kiss him again.
"You're a freak."
"You liked it."
He reads me like a fucking book.
I swirl my tongue inside my mouth, revisiting the aftertaste of myself and Changmin mixed together. "What do they teach you in high school nowadays?"
He snorts. "Life skills. What do they teach you in college?"
I lap up traces of cum left on his chin. It's just the tip of my tongue but I hope it drives him crazy. Eventually when I run out of cum, it turns into a trail of light kisses along his jawline. He's mine. He has to be. "I got into med school."
"Congrats," is all he says. He's like that. The first time I met him, all he said was, 'Let's go.'
"It's gonna be hard. I'm surprised they accepted me in the first place." I know my kisses are growing more needy but I'm overflowing and I want him to as well. "It's like, so I'm in...now what?"
"Jae," He says my name gently, unexpectedly. "I look up to you, you know."
My kisses stop and I stare. Where is this going?
He looks back and it's a rare sight, Changmin so serious. But he's also soft and genuine and I suddenly remember that he's still a boy.
"No matter how tough it is, you can do it. You always do. It's your best quality."
I'm falling apart into all the right pieces. But that stupid, crooked grin has done a lot more damage. Like when it started this whole thing that night me and a bottle of Corona followed that underaged kid to the club dance floor, to the bathroom sink and in the back of Yoochun's car months ago.
Changmin's good at what he does: Basketball. Math. Blowjobs. But he's better at mapping me out and exploring without my permission.
"What's my best feature?" He leaves a kiss on my chin.
"Your cock."
Changmin snorts. His hands drift down to the swell of my ass. "I know. But what do you like best about me?"
Arrogant bastard. It was supposed to end that night on the dance floor. It was supposed to end after he had me bent over the bathroom sink. It was supposed to end after we left cum stains in the back of Yoochun's car. (He was pissed as hell, by the way.) But all along, this little bastard knew he could get more out of me no matter how much I pulled back.
"Your mouth." I lean down and savor his taste. His lips are so warm and soft, I melt a little. He kisses back, opening up for me, holding me tight and for a second I fool myself into believing he wants me as much as I need him.
Changmin pulls back and smirks. "Whatever. You hate my mouth."
"You're right. You talk too much."
"You hate when I say what you're thinking."
Dammit.
"You know I hate it, so why keep doing it, asshole?"
"I like being inside you." He grins deviously. "But not like that. Well, yeah, like that, too." Then he pauses to think. He hates being cute. But as he scrunches up his brow in thought, tip of his tongue poking out slightly, it's inevitable. If I laughed out loud, he'd probably get pissed. "Your mind is exclusive. And I'm the only one who knows how to pick the lock."
With a sneaky grin, he squeezes and massages my ass and yes, I moan because it's what he wants and what Changmin wants, he gets. At least from me. A finger slides down my crack back and forth til he settles the pad over my hole, presses there and whirls it around in tiny circles til I can feel both our cocks stirring again.
My breathing is labored and heavy but my heart is fluttering. "How do I keep you out?"
Changmin is not a book.
He's more like a painting. A masterpiece hung up on the wall for all eyes to interpret. But I'm not smart enough to understand. His splashes of color, bold strokes and obscure messages confound me.
I have no idea what he means when he looks at me right now but I do know that somehow he is undressing my naked body right down to the soul.
"You won't." He says softly.
Just one look into his eyes and that mouth I hate so much and I already know the choice I'll make. I'd readily dive into complete darkness on the blind assumption that he'd be at the bottom waiting to catch me. But the sane part of me is begging to leave this thing without hurdling to the ground with a resounding splat.
I'm hopeless. "I can't."
He opens his mouth again but but there's only so much of that thing I can take in one day. My lips crash into his, anything to shut him up.
Changmin doesn't complain when my tongue swipes between his lips and he parts them, letting me fall in. His hands are stilled while mine trail softly up and down his chest, stopping only to draw circles and figure eights. And I celebrate every time his chest rises and falls beneath mine because he's alive with me.
Our cocks, resting against each other between our abdomens, begin to thicken and I want nothing more than to let Changmin take charge and fuck me into the floor, but I'm addicted to the taste of his mouth and silly delusions that he won't leave for school in the morning or in the middle of the night or while I'm kissing him and I realize he's a dream.
I sit up, hands propped on his chest and grind. It's one of those few moments he lets me take control. I like to believe it's because he knows sometimes I need this. To feel like I'm calling the shots even though I know it's only pretend and sooner or later someone will come along and fuck me over anyway. I like it better when Changmin's that someone, though, because he leaves bruises on my wrists and lips.
I don't get much preparation tonight. He likes it rough. Just spit and one finger as I rub my cock against his and watch that look-god, he's amazing when he's turned on as fuck-on his face grow into reality.
He throws me on my back, wrists pinned above my head the way we like it. When he sinks into me, he isn't gentle. Unlike his blowjobs, he's impatient and savage and he scrapes and scratches rather than caresses and teases. Probably because he knows now his orgasm is at stake, too. Little bastard.
It hurts like hell at first but it's more painful to think I'm probably not the only one who aches like this for him. For right now it's good enough to know he's here for the moment and eventually I can let go and moan the way he wants me to.
No condoms because somehow I still trust him. I love it when he bites hard enough to break skin and pants because I'm tight enough for him and strokes my cock like he's mad at it. I love it. I love it all. I'd never tell him. He'll figure it all out for himself soon enough if he hasn't figured it out yet. And he will. Soon. It makes it easier for him to play with me.
"Fuck," He hisses into my newly be-speckled neck. He keeps a painful grip on my wrists the whole way through. I love it. God, I love it. "You're so hot."
"Min, please..." I whimper. It's embarrassing the way this high school kid breaks me down like this.
Changmin knows what I'm begging for. He gives it to me harder, hand working my cock between our chests. He mumbles something in my ear. I'm not sure what it was but I suspect it was a naughty compliment.
"I'm close."
"Me, too." His hand on my cock picks up the pace. His voice sounds clipped and rough like gravel. I feel satisfaction in knowing that right now I'm doing this to him. "You feel so good."
"Am I better than..."
At first, I'd started saying it as a joke to distract him. To distract him from the love I'm making to him. To convince him and remind myself that this is just the fucking we're so damn used to.
But it was such a stupid question. A stupid, stupid question. The kind of question that was stupid because I didn't want to know, yet I still asked. Because the answer could shatter every illusion I've constructed for myself in the last few months.
The illusion that I'm still the cool and aloof older man, using this kid to get off when everyone else bores me. The fantasy that even though in the beginning it was obvious he had many playmates which I hadn't cared about at the time, that maybe now that time had passed, it was me he called at night and me he daydreamed about in class and only me he fucked til the moon faded with the sunrise. Because it was certainly true for me. It was the beginning of a truly stupid question. How the hell had I gotten into med school?
Changmin suddenly looks at me, still thrusting but even in the darkness, I can see his eyebrows are furrowed. I watch his Adam's apple dance in the shadows as he swallows.
He doesn't answer at first. Instead, he pulls out, almost completely unsheathing himself, and then slams back in, striking my sweet spot dead on with enough force to make me weep.
I arch off the bed almost violently, mouth agape in a harsh gasp. Changmin releases my wrists and pulls me closer to him, nearly too tight to breathe. His voice is ragged and strained when he whispers into my ear. It isn't until I hear what he says that I realize he's not like this because my sex is so good, but because I plague him with emotion.
"Only you, Jae. Only you."
He yanks me, crashing into an open-mouthed kiss, pulling hair and gnashing teeth. It's a kiss so deep, I wish I could drown and end it all. It's too deep and I'm overflowing again. But I don't want to burst. Not in front of him.
And so when I try to break away from the kiss and push him away, the way he pulls me back and opens me up again just makes the realization that much more real that this is his confession.
He's fucking me harder. Kissing me harder. And it might be the first time I've ever considered that maybe he loves this, maybe he needs this as much as I do.
I haven't had a chance to come up for air when Changmin grunts into my mouth and I feel something warm spread inside me. It feels so good, I could cum from that alone but Changmin strokes me off fast anyway, the quick sound of skin slipping against skin shoving me even harder over the edge and between our chests.
His hips are still, flaccid cock still buried inside me but we're still kissing. I cling to him as he holds me tight and I'm inexplicably happy to discover that I love this, too. Changmin holds me. Not grabbing his pants and a snack and walking out the door. He's holding me. Til he has to kiss away any evidence that he may or may not have actually fucked me til I cried.
I want to taste my salt on his lips again. I kiss him full on the mouth because there's no turning back now. Hasn't been for a long time.
We kiss til Changmin starts moving again. I've barely recovered from my last spill. But I'll give Changmin anything he wants.
But this time is different. He's not rough. But he's not gentle. His cock barely pulls out before he jerks back in at a steady pace, arms wrapped around what feels like every damn inch of me as if I'd dare run away. So tight, I can hardly breathe against his neck and it feels like he's lit a wildfire within me as he screws his eyes shut tight and whispers things in my ear I don't think either of us understand.
He's desperate.
Changmin keeps going til we both cum again. But even after that, he doesn't stop. It's as if so much time wasted on pretending and screwing and prolonging the idea in my head that he still kept those other playmates when maybe he'd slowly deserted them over time because he's every bit as helpless as I am, keeps him drilling me til I forget everyone including myself and fall in love with him. It's too late, Min. It's too late.
We're both cringing from members still sensitive from the last orgasm and slowly overwhelming ourselves but it's hard to care. His colored cheeks say he wants to be close to me. His strokes say he wants me to feel good. His message is that he'd throw away everything for me.
And so we get hard again and cum again and I'm left staring at the ceiling oddly thankful of dumbass questions.
We lie there like that. Me staring, Changmin spent on top of me. No kissing, no talking, no thinking. What may have been around thirty minutes later, he pulls out of me and lies on his stomach still halfway on top of me. I think we're both afraid to stop touching.
"Breakfast sounds good." His voice sounds far away.
"Okay."
"Maybe lunch, too. And dinner. And breakfast again."
I look at him and he's staring at me. "You have sch-"
"Fuck school."
It's a nice sentiment to doze off to. I know it's probably selfish but I need him right now. His 4.0 can wait.
I don't know when exactly it was that I drifted to sleep but when I wake up, it feels like 4am-ish and Changmin's between my thighs, my legs thrown over his shoulders.
"I want pancakes." His fingers graze down my abdomen. He's in a teasing mood again. "With apple juice."
I don't object. With my silence and soft moan as he enters, we both know I'll give him anything. Everything.
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