Wildflowers [6]
Title: Wildflowers
Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: I own the Secret Code album. Sadly, nothing more.
Pairing: Jaemin, Jaechun
Length: [6/?]
Genre: Romance, angst, slight smut
Rating: R
Warnings: Some smuttiness, some language (mostly Junsu), umm...does implied abuse count as a warning? o.o
Summary: Changmin sits back and watches love bloom. It grows wild and unwanted.
Previous Chapters
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Six
"You shouldn't smoke."
Jaejoong frowns at the lit cigarette between his slender fingers. "I know."
Changmin leans against the balcony of their dorm building. People often came there to study or just survey the campus from above. It was too late for most people to come now. Changmin inhales the crisp night air. Autumn is coming. "Then why do you do it?"
Jaejoong takes a deep puff, holds it and blows, turning his head away from Changmin as he exhales. "Why not?"
"It's unhealthy." Changmin points out.
Jaejoong smirks. His lips look tired. "And?"
"You'll die decades before I do."
Jaejoong flicks ashes over the edge of the balcony and watches them float with the breeze. "What difference would that make?"
"It'd make a difference to me."
The eldest peers at him for a while before responding. "Then you're a strange little boy."
Changmin blushes. "I'm not a little boy."
"I know. I've seen you with your pants off." Jaejoong takes another puff while Changmin chokes a little.
He watches Jaejoong's lips meld into an O as he blows gray clouds and taps his foot feverishly. He's cold. Changmin imagines reaching over, plucking the cigarette from his fingers, tossing it over the balcony and warming him in his arms. "Would you give it up for me?"
Jaejoong raises an eyebrow. Changmin rushes to explain. "I'm your roommate. My clothes are starting to smell like Marlboros."
Jaejoong nibbles on the end for a bit but doesn't inhale. He takes it out of his mouth. "I'll think about it."
Changmin still doesn't feel settled. He doesn't realize he's staring at Jaejoong like a lost puppy dog til Jaejoong laughs throatily and nudges him with his elbow. "I'm sorry, Min. I hate it, too."
Changmin shakes his head, not understanding. "Then why are you still doing it?"
"It's comfortable."
"But you're dying."
"So are you. Just slower."
"Why not just stop?"
"Why don't you make me?" Jaejoong exhales and looks at Changmin intently with those cold, empty eyes until Changmin has to look down and fiddle with his hands.
Jaejoong reverts his attention to the star-speckled sky, arching his back against the balcony railing and blowing out smoke once the wind blew opposite from Changmin's face. "You can eat cake without getting addicted to dessert. But cigarettes are different. It's a beautiful poison." He turns to Changmin matter-of-factly. "I'm addicted, Min. Help me."
Changmin gnaws on his lip. "What am I supposed to do for you?"
Jaejoong shrugs lightly but his shoulders look heavy. "Withdrawal is a bitch. I'm too scared to do it by myself. You'll have to snatch me away. Don't be gentle."
Changmin loses himself pondering what Jaejoong would be like under the influence of withdrawal symptoms. Thrashing and brittle. Changmin shudders. "But you're so..."
Suddenly Jaejoong is standing too close, shoulder to shoulder, both leaning on their elbows over the railing. "Delicate?" He pouts and brings his voice low and Changmin wants to lick the nicotine off his lips.
Changmin doesn't speak for a while. He focuses on the lush green grass below them and not how Jaejoong's hip is touching his.
But Jaejoong stares at him intently, suddenly going serious. "Make me stop, Min. Please. I want to."
Changmin can't bring himself to say that even though he'd like nothing more, Jaejoong seems so much more calm when he smokes.
After waiting for a response that would never come, Jaejoong turns away, takes a long drag and blows until his lips form a quasi-smile. "What do you think I'd taste like if you kissed me?"
Changmin's head reels for a moment. He thinks he might be falling off the balcony until Jaejoong saves him the trouble and answers the question for him with an ironic smirk. "I bet you think I'd taste like ashes. It's true."
But Changmin doesn't think that at all. He believes Jaejoong would taste like honey and poppies that would put Changmin into a breathtaking eternal sleep. And he'd dream of rich chocolate in Jaejoong's eyes and spring in his lips.
:::::
Changmin slams the door of Yunho and Junsu's door unannounced. He's panting.
Junsu still can't get used to it. He spits the pencil out of his mouth. "What the fuck?"
Changmin shakes his head and tosses himself face down next to Junsu on his bed. Yunho doesn't look up from his notes. "Him again?"
Changmin doesn't answer. Earlier, Jaejoong had been sending Changmin texts from across the room while they quietly ate Jaejoong's cooking in their respective beds. Changmin humored him. When the last text read, 'You'd taste sexy with soy sauce,' Changmin looked up and Jaejoong was right in front of him, running the tip of his tongue across a stray dab of soy sauce on Changmin's cheek. Changmin bolted.
He figures after the initial trauma wears off he'll help Junsu with his calculus because he knows he's probably struggling but too irritated to ask Yunho for help without biting his head off. Changmin's only mildly disturbed that he's become so acquainted with Jaejoong's antics that he can brush it off with math tutoring.
Junsu opens his mouth as if to snap but stops himself. He inquires more calmly, "You never talked to him, did you?"
Changmin buries his head under a pillow.
Junsu nudges Changmin's leg. "What exactly does he do to you?"
Changmin doesn't answer for a while and Junsu thinks he's being ignored until the younger finally mumbles, "Everything."
Junsu wrinkles his nose. "I don't even know what that means, smartass. Telllll meeee." He tickles the bottom of Changmin's feet just to be annoying.
Changmin eventually just curls his legs under him til he's in a fetal position and stares at the wall. "He licked me."
Junsu stops bugging Changmin and just looks at him in disbelief. Yunho scribbles something in his notes. Junsu leans in closer to him as if he'd heard wrong. "Does he do shit like that a lot?"
Changmin hugs his knees to his chest. "Every day."
Junsu scowls, snapping his textbook shut. "Then fuck asking him to stop. Make him stop. Or tell him I will."
Changmin shakes his head, pathetic and Junsu cocks his head, confused. "Are you okay with it?"
Changmin parts his lips. It was like being addicted to slitting his wrists. "It's torture."
"So why won't you request a new roommate? Or move all your stuff in our room." Junsu rubs Changmin's back, pleading for a straight answer. "I promise I won't evict you."
Finally, Yunho looks up from his notes, placing his pencil off to the side. He eyes Changmin intently. "Jaejoong is more than just a bad roommate, isn't he?"
Junsu looks at Yunho sharply then watches Changmin. He abandons his books to the floor when Changmin's shoulders shake and his throat closes up and strangles the sobs and the tears run sideways across his face and soak into Junsu's pillow.
Junsu has to pry at Changmin's arms to unwrap them from around his legs and pulls him into a hug. Yunho crosses the room and sits on the other side of Changmin, winding his arms around his waist as Changmin presses tears into Junsu's neck.
They fall asleep in a pile on Junsu's bed with the light still on. He only wakes up hours later when Yunho accidentally kicks Junsu out of bed again. Of course Junsu was pissed.
They both apologize to Changmin for waking him and try to pull him back into bed but he shakes his head and resists, claiming he's still in his day clothes and needs to change into PJ's which are still in his room. But really, he's searching for a teasing little razor to slice his heart open.
:::::
Changmin opens the door to his room and finds Jaejoong sitting on the middle of the floor. It had gotten dark since he'd last seen Jaejoong but through the moonlight shining through the window blinds, he can see that he's wearing different clothes than before, as if he'd gone out. Jaejoong snaps to life, looking behind him when Changmin closes the door behind him. He grins.
"Min! Where have you been? Fucking Yunho and Junsu again?" Changmin is left speechless while Jaejoong giggles to himself, rising to his feet and wobbling a bit. He barely moves more than a foot closer when Changmin catches a whiff of alcohol.
"Jae, you--" Changmin lunges forward just as Jaejoong nearly topples to the floor. He catches him just in time, Jaejoong gigging into his chest.
"You're strong." Jaejoong looks up at Changmin blearily and slurs, "That's why I like you."
Changmin tries not to blush as Jaejoong breathes hotly, heavily into his neck, his breath oozing beer. "You should sleep."
A wicked grin. "Can I sleep with you?"
His heart lodges itself in Changmin's throat and throbs there, making it impossible for him to respond. Instead he tries to drag Jaejoong closer to his own bed but the elder's legs are like jelly.
Suddenly, Jaejoong clings to Changmin's shoulders with more strength than expected. "Yoochun won't sleep with me anymore." He pouts. "He won't even kiss me. He says I'm a waste of his time."
"He's a piece of shit," Changmin grunts, anger brewing in his stomach. "Don't believe him."
Jaejoong's eyes brighten and glaze over. "So, will you?"
"Will I what?" Changmin struggles to keep the other standing without tangling himself and dropping them both to the floor.
Jaejoong stands on his toes, grabbing fistfuls of Changmin's shirt for stability and whispers thick and hot in Changmin's ear. "Kiss me."
Changmin nearly leaps out of his skin when he feels feverishly warm lips just under his earlobe. As Jaejoong kisses him down his jawline, Changmin tries desperately to wrench the shorter man off of him without hurting him but Jaejoong has a death grip on his shirt.
"It never works with you." Jaejoong barely mumbles coherently under his breath as he travels closer to Changmin's mouth. "It works with Chun. Let it work, Changmin. Let it work."
Not now, not now, not now, not now.
Jaejoong releases one fistful only to cup Changmin's cheek and turn him face to face, lips parted, eyes heavy lidded. Finally, Changmin yanks his head away, granting Jaejoong's lips with his cheek
"Please stop." Changmin hisses harshly, gritting his teeth. Jaejoong pauses, eyes searching Changmin's face as his fingers slowly relinquish their grip. His eyes grow wider and his brow furrows.
He lays his head on Changmin's shoulder, suddenly leaning all his weight into the younger's chest. Changmin stumbles backward, to accommodate the sudden weight and ends up sprawling back on his own bed with Jaejoong curled up in his arms, a tangle of limbs.
Jaejoong whispers something. Changmin strains to hear.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
He repeats it over and over, clinging to Changmin's chest until the younger takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through Jaejoong's hair. He stops whispering and stares up at the other, eyes wide and bloodshot, apologetic, tired.
Changmin wraps his arms around him tighter. "It's okay."
While he pets him soothingly, ignoring the thick smell of booze, Jaejoong shakes his head faintly. "It's not okay." Like a lost child.
But Changmin shushes him and brings him closer. And they stay like that until Jaejoong's breathing becomes deep and long and Changmin is sure he'll have to peel the other off of him in the morning.
He hopes the morning never comes.
Seven
--------------------------
T____T
And one of those entire conversations was veeeery allegorical...or metaphoric...or whatever literary term appropriately applies... o.o"
Smut contest in dbkrackweens
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Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: I own the Secret Code album. Sadly, nothing more.
Pairing: Jaemin, Jaechun
Length: [6/?]
Genre: Romance, angst, slight smut
Rating: R
Warnings: Some smuttiness, some language (mostly Junsu), umm...does implied abuse count as a warning? o.o
Summary: Changmin sits back and watches love bloom. It grows wild and unwanted.
Previous Chapters
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Six
"You shouldn't smoke."
Jaejoong frowns at the lit cigarette between his slender fingers. "I know."
Changmin leans against the balcony of their dorm building. People often came there to study or just survey the campus from above. It was too late for most people to come now. Changmin inhales the crisp night air. Autumn is coming. "Then why do you do it?"
Jaejoong takes a deep puff, holds it and blows, turning his head away from Changmin as he exhales. "Why not?"
"It's unhealthy." Changmin points out.
Jaejoong smirks. His lips look tired. "And?"
"You'll die decades before I do."
Jaejoong flicks ashes over the edge of the balcony and watches them float with the breeze. "What difference would that make?"
"It'd make a difference to me."
The eldest peers at him for a while before responding. "Then you're a strange little boy."
Changmin blushes. "I'm not a little boy."
"I know. I've seen you with your pants off." Jaejoong takes another puff while Changmin chokes a little.
He watches Jaejoong's lips meld into an O as he blows gray clouds and taps his foot feverishly. He's cold. Changmin imagines reaching over, plucking the cigarette from his fingers, tossing it over the balcony and warming him in his arms. "Would you give it up for me?"
Jaejoong raises an eyebrow. Changmin rushes to explain. "I'm your roommate. My clothes are starting to smell like Marlboros."
Jaejoong nibbles on the end for a bit but doesn't inhale. He takes it out of his mouth. "I'll think about it."
Changmin still doesn't feel settled. He doesn't realize he's staring at Jaejoong like a lost puppy dog til Jaejoong laughs throatily and nudges him with his elbow. "I'm sorry, Min. I hate it, too."
Changmin shakes his head, not understanding. "Then why are you still doing it?"
"It's comfortable."
"But you're dying."
"So are you. Just slower."
"Why not just stop?"
"Why don't you make me?" Jaejoong exhales and looks at Changmin intently with those cold, empty eyes until Changmin has to look down and fiddle with his hands.
Jaejoong reverts his attention to the star-speckled sky, arching his back against the balcony railing and blowing out smoke once the wind blew opposite from Changmin's face. "You can eat cake without getting addicted to dessert. But cigarettes are different. It's a beautiful poison." He turns to Changmin matter-of-factly. "I'm addicted, Min. Help me."
Changmin gnaws on his lip. "What am I supposed to do for you?"
Jaejoong shrugs lightly but his shoulders look heavy. "Withdrawal is a bitch. I'm too scared to do it by myself. You'll have to snatch me away. Don't be gentle."
Changmin loses himself pondering what Jaejoong would be like under the influence of withdrawal symptoms. Thrashing and brittle. Changmin shudders. "But you're so..."
Suddenly Jaejoong is standing too close, shoulder to shoulder, both leaning on their elbows over the railing. "Delicate?" He pouts and brings his voice low and Changmin wants to lick the nicotine off his lips.
Changmin doesn't speak for a while. He focuses on the lush green grass below them and not how Jaejoong's hip is touching his.
But Jaejoong stares at him intently, suddenly going serious. "Make me stop, Min. Please. I want to."
Changmin can't bring himself to say that even though he'd like nothing more, Jaejoong seems so much more calm when he smokes.
After waiting for a response that would never come, Jaejoong turns away, takes a long drag and blows until his lips form a quasi-smile. "What do you think I'd taste like if you kissed me?"
Changmin's head reels for a moment. He thinks he might be falling off the balcony until Jaejoong saves him the trouble and answers the question for him with an ironic smirk. "I bet you think I'd taste like ashes. It's true."
But Changmin doesn't think that at all. He believes Jaejoong would taste like honey and poppies that would put Changmin into a breathtaking eternal sleep. And he'd dream of rich chocolate in Jaejoong's eyes and spring in his lips.
:::::
Changmin slams the door of Yunho and Junsu's door unannounced. He's panting.
Junsu still can't get used to it. He spits the pencil out of his mouth. "What the fuck?"
Changmin shakes his head and tosses himself face down next to Junsu on his bed. Yunho doesn't look up from his notes. "Him again?"
Changmin doesn't answer. Earlier, Jaejoong had been sending Changmin texts from across the room while they quietly ate Jaejoong's cooking in their respective beds. Changmin humored him. When the last text read, 'You'd taste sexy with soy sauce,' Changmin looked up and Jaejoong was right in front of him, running the tip of his tongue across a stray dab of soy sauce on Changmin's cheek. Changmin bolted.
He figures after the initial trauma wears off he'll help Junsu with his calculus because he knows he's probably struggling but too irritated to ask Yunho for help without biting his head off. Changmin's only mildly disturbed that he's become so acquainted with Jaejoong's antics that he can brush it off with math tutoring.
Junsu opens his mouth as if to snap but stops himself. He inquires more calmly, "You never talked to him, did you?"
Changmin buries his head under a pillow.
Junsu nudges Changmin's leg. "What exactly does he do to you?"
Changmin doesn't answer for a while and Junsu thinks he's being ignored until the younger finally mumbles, "Everything."
Junsu wrinkles his nose. "I don't even know what that means, smartass. Telllll meeee." He tickles the bottom of Changmin's feet just to be annoying.
Changmin eventually just curls his legs under him til he's in a fetal position and stares at the wall. "He licked me."
Junsu stops bugging Changmin and just looks at him in disbelief. Yunho scribbles something in his notes. Junsu leans in closer to him as if he'd heard wrong. "Does he do shit like that a lot?"
Changmin hugs his knees to his chest. "Every day."
Junsu scowls, snapping his textbook shut. "Then fuck asking him to stop. Make him stop. Or tell him I will."
Changmin shakes his head, pathetic and Junsu cocks his head, confused. "Are you okay with it?"
Changmin parts his lips. It was like being addicted to slitting his wrists. "It's torture."
"So why won't you request a new roommate? Or move all your stuff in our room." Junsu rubs Changmin's back, pleading for a straight answer. "I promise I won't evict you."
Finally, Yunho looks up from his notes, placing his pencil off to the side. He eyes Changmin intently. "Jaejoong is more than just a bad roommate, isn't he?"
Junsu looks at Yunho sharply then watches Changmin. He abandons his books to the floor when Changmin's shoulders shake and his throat closes up and strangles the sobs and the tears run sideways across his face and soak into Junsu's pillow.
Junsu has to pry at Changmin's arms to unwrap them from around his legs and pulls him into a hug. Yunho crosses the room and sits on the other side of Changmin, winding his arms around his waist as Changmin presses tears into Junsu's neck.
They fall asleep in a pile on Junsu's bed with the light still on. He only wakes up hours later when Yunho accidentally kicks Junsu out of bed again. Of course Junsu was pissed.
They both apologize to Changmin for waking him and try to pull him back into bed but he shakes his head and resists, claiming he's still in his day clothes and needs to change into PJ's which are still in his room. But really, he's searching for a teasing little razor to slice his heart open.
:::::
Changmin opens the door to his room and finds Jaejoong sitting on the middle of the floor. It had gotten dark since he'd last seen Jaejoong but through the moonlight shining through the window blinds, he can see that he's wearing different clothes than before, as if he'd gone out. Jaejoong snaps to life, looking behind him when Changmin closes the door behind him. He grins.
"Min! Where have you been? Fucking Yunho and Junsu again?" Changmin is left speechless while Jaejoong giggles to himself, rising to his feet and wobbling a bit. He barely moves more than a foot closer when Changmin catches a whiff of alcohol.
"Jae, you--" Changmin lunges forward just as Jaejoong nearly topples to the floor. He catches him just in time, Jaejoong gigging into his chest.
"You're strong." Jaejoong looks up at Changmin blearily and slurs, "That's why I like you."
Changmin tries not to blush as Jaejoong breathes hotly, heavily into his neck, his breath oozing beer. "You should sleep."
A wicked grin. "Can I sleep with you?"
His heart lodges itself in Changmin's throat and throbs there, making it impossible for him to respond. Instead he tries to drag Jaejoong closer to his own bed but the elder's legs are like jelly.
Suddenly, Jaejoong clings to Changmin's shoulders with more strength than expected. "Yoochun won't sleep with me anymore." He pouts. "He won't even kiss me. He says I'm a waste of his time."
"He's a piece of shit," Changmin grunts, anger brewing in his stomach. "Don't believe him."
Jaejoong's eyes brighten and glaze over. "So, will you?"
"Will I what?" Changmin struggles to keep the other standing without tangling himself and dropping them both to the floor.
Jaejoong stands on his toes, grabbing fistfuls of Changmin's shirt for stability and whispers thick and hot in Changmin's ear. "Kiss me."
Changmin nearly leaps out of his skin when he feels feverishly warm lips just under his earlobe. As Jaejoong kisses him down his jawline, Changmin tries desperately to wrench the shorter man off of him without hurting him but Jaejoong has a death grip on his shirt.
"It never works with you." Jaejoong barely mumbles coherently under his breath as he travels closer to Changmin's mouth. "It works with Chun. Let it work, Changmin. Let it work."
Not now, not now, not now, not now.
Jaejoong releases one fistful only to cup Changmin's cheek and turn him face to face, lips parted, eyes heavy lidded. Finally, Changmin yanks his head away, granting Jaejoong's lips with his cheek
"Please stop." Changmin hisses harshly, gritting his teeth. Jaejoong pauses, eyes searching Changmin's face as his fingers slowly relinquish their grip. His eyes grow wider and his brow furrows.
He lays his head on Changmin's shoulder, suddenly leaning all his weight into the younger's chest. Changmin stumbles backward, to accommodate the sudden weight and ends up sprawling back on his own bed with Jaejoong curled up in his arms, a tangle of limbs.
Jaejoong whispers something. Changmin strains to hear.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
He repeats it over and over, clinging to Changmin's chest until the younger takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through Jaejoong's hair. He stops whispering and stares up at the other, eyes wide and bloodshot, apologetic, tired.
Changmin wraps his arms around him tighter. "It's okay."
While he pets him soothingly, ignoring the thick smell of booze, Jaejoong shakes his head faintly. "It's not okay." Like a lost child.
But Changmin shushes him and brings him closer. And they stay like that until Jaejoong's breathing becomes deep and long and Changmin is sure he'll have to peel the other off of him in the morning.
He hopes the morning never comes.
Seven
--------------------------
T____T
And one of those entire conversations was veeeery allegorical...or metaphoric...or whatever literary term appropriately applies... o.o"
Smut contest in dbkrackweens
hit counter