Dear Diary~ [Page 42 - Changmin]
[Page 42 - Changmin] I'm...BACK! 8D Some of you already know this because I recently updated a new oneshot today, but you didn't think I'd update Dear Diary~, too, did ya?! Phew. College band camp was INTENSE. I didn't even have time to communicate with my own familly. Dx But now it's over and regular college has started. ^_^ And...the Diaries are BACK with a vengeance! (Oh, and, um, just thought I'd point out that some of the events with the teenaged girls were inspiration from some of your comments in page 40. ^_^ Enjoy!)
Dear Diary,
Darn it, we lost.
The car wash was fun and it raised a lot of money for us and everything, but….
Darn that genius Yesung.
Junsu, Yunho, Minho, Taemin and Onew from Team Super Bang filled us in on how they totally came in from behind and won the car wash fundraiser competition…thing in a landslide.
I love Yesung-hyung…but darn him and his geniusness.
It’s just that…we were totally winning. Jaejoong convinced Yunho to let him buy cowboy hats the day before and we had that going on, PLUS we had our shirts off. Men with shirts off washing cars-how does that not pull in customers??
Well, it did, actually. It brought in A LOT of customers. There were even some girls who insisted on staying inside the cars as we washed them and stared at us while worked.
They stared. Like…they didn’t blink.
At first, I thought it would be kind of cool, you know, like movie star, model awesomeness, but…they didn’t blink. It was like every time I would come around to scrub the passenger side window, there would be a pair of eyes THIS BIG gaping at my abs. (I am not being conceited by saying I have abs. I really have them. They exist. Yunho even said they were growing last time we worked out. Ha.)
And they would turn to their other friends in the car and start laughing like maniacs. There was even one time in one particular car where I went to scrub the windshield and she jumped at me. Jumped at me. From inside the car. Like she was some kind of super teen and could propel herself through walls without a scratch and attack shirtless guys at will.
Yoochun said I was weak for spazzing and squealing (just a little bit) when it happened, but he would have done the same thing. I swear I was about to be FAN RAPED by a rabid girl inside a wet car. What is it about exposed skin and cowboy hats that get girls all excited??
I guess Jaejoong had the right idea because a lot of that kind of stuff happened while we pulled in loads and loads of cars and Super Bang across the street washed the occasional Volvo of some old ladies and people who were just in too much of a hurry to turn across traffic into our parking lot.
Our plan even seemed to distract some of the Super Bangers. Kangin was getting angry because his team was losing and even angrier when Siwon refused to spray down a car who’s bumper sticker had a curse word brandished in bright red letters. Shindong commented afterwards about how Yoochun’s whiteness almost blinded him from across the street.
I looked over a couple of times and saw Yunho just staring at our side while in the middle of washing the top of some SUV. He did that a lot when Jaejoong and Heechul started water fights with soap and the water hose. Now that I think about it, that is pretty distracting.
Jaejoong was the brains of our team. I guess he was really excited about the whole thing. Even though I insisted that our posters were already better than Super Bang’s, he said that it wasn’t enough.
Water = sex.
That’s what he said. Not my words.
Which must be why he and Heechul had lots of water fights every five minutes.
And then all the teenaged girls and their moms and other men and Yunho and random people walking by without cars to even wash would stop and stare with drool oozing out of their mouths.
Ah, he and Heechul should not mix brains. I end up suffering and get Super Teens thrown against the windows en route to my abs. Aish.
Okay, I’ll move on to why Super Bang’s team won in the end.
Oh wait! There was something that absolutely did NOT work out with the whole shirts off, cowboy hats thing.
Eunhyuk and Donghae. On the same team.
Hah…good thing Jaejoong thought to buy rope for those two or somebody’s pants would have certainly dropped at the sight of each other’s luscious, sopping wet, glistening…
Where did those adjectives come from??? I should stop watching porn…
…Anyway…they tried to be all over each other but Hankyung kept them apart and the rope helped and all was happy and good and productive and not dripping in fornication so there. Phew.
Anyway, anyway…about the other team’s plans.
Yesung…
Okay, so the other team only came prepared to wash some cars with soap and water and had a few colorful posters up around the area to advertise, whatever, whatever, but ours was still better. Come on. Our shirts were off.
And then, Yesung thought that their team should do the same thing, but Kangin was like…no. I’m not saying he’s gaining weight or anything. He’s the one that refused to take off his shirt.
…
Aish, what if he rapes my diary again…? Would he bother reading it…??
Ahem…so Yesung apparently thought of a way around Kangin’s protests-Team Super Bang should take their pants off.
Yeah…That’s Yesung for you.
He must have explained it in some really, really, really convincing way because somehow everyone went for it. Even Yunho. Their boxers were still on and everything-well, actually… Sungmin had…
I don’t know how to explain this. It was…what I saw from our side… He……..This is awkward.
But Sungmin had on pink polka-dotted girl’s undies.
He must have forgotten he had those on or something before he pulled down his pants but it was…I don’t have any adjectives for this. Maybe that’s a good thing…
Ah, well, the kids didn’t have to take off their pants. Also would’ve been a bit awkward. So Minho, Taemin and Onew just took off their shoes. Yeah. The wonders of Yesung’s mind…
So it was our shirtless car wash vs. their pantsless, shoeless car wash.
…
Hello?!?! No pants?! No matter how good looking any person may be, walking up to people in broad daylight with no pants and a big grin on your face, saying, “May I wash your car?” is a LITTLE creepy. Actually, A LOT creepy.
And it showed because NO ONE went to their car wash after that. After a few minutes, I saw Kangin hit Yesung on the head. Ah, he was the one that didn’t want to take off his shirt, sooooo Yesung-hyung came up with an alternative. It was probably Kangin’s fault.
…
Oooh…the diary rape… I hope he never gets a hold of this.
Anyway, Yesung is still a genius, but only after…several setbacks.
Letting nine guys’ boxers (and panties and socks) blow in the wind in the middle of a car wash certainly counted as a setback.
So, I mentioned the Heechul/Jaejoong water fights that drew a lot of attention, right?
Oh wait. I’ll go back again. Sorry, Diary. Why am I so disorganized today? I think Yoochun is rubbing off on me. He’s been INSANE since he discovered Junsu’s essence…in the laundry room.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! FLASHBACKS!!!!!!
…Okay, I’m done…
So, Super Bang’s…strategy kind of distracted our team, too. Leeteuk kept looking over at Kangin and chuckling-wait. Would it be called chuckling? His laugh is so…high pitched. Anyway, he did that. Maybe he’s starting to forgive Kangin-hyung for kicking us out of their house? (I’ll forgive him…if he promises never to read my diary…I fear for my well-being.)
Yoochun… Ah, Yoochun. He quit working all together and sat on the sidewalk to STARE at Junsu. We kept yelling at him to quit having eye sex with Junsu and help us hose down a muddy truck, but it was like he was in a different world. Just him, Junsu and Junsu’s white boxers.
That’s a pretty messed up world.
Key and Jonghyun just kept laughing. I guess it was pretty ridiculously funny, but I was still shaken up from the rabid girls stalking in some of the cars…
And some were around the corner…taking pictures…
Soooo…about Heechul/Jaejoong water fights.
Yesung saw them and must have thought….”Hmm. Good idea.” and tried to copy this, too. With his own Yesungish twist.
Mud wrestling.
He made Taemin spray a dirt patch in the grass off to the side of the parking lot with a water hose until it was muddy to perfection and attacked Kangin.
Bad idea from the start.
Kangin was of course, Kang-zilla enraged, so he basically pummeled Yesung to a muddy pulp. And then Siwon tried to pull him off but Kangin accidentally kicked him in…that happy place in the realm of men’s anatomy where when injured…it’s not such a happy place anymore.
(I’m getting better/worse at these descriptions.)
So, Siwon (I TOTALLY heard him say it, he yelled it so loud) snapped his fingers three times in a Z formation and said, “Oh, no you didn’t!” And then he joined the mud brawl.
At this point, people were actually paying attention to their side, but not for the good reasons. Still no customers, but…I think some spectators started making bets.
Yunho, being the only voice of reason, tried to calm them down with the help of Shindong, but it really wasn’t working. Once you get Siwon on a roll…he just keeps rolling…
Somehow Onew got caught up the blur of muddy, pantsless men. I don’t even know how it happened. But when he ended up under Kangin in a painful looking choke hold, Taemin started freaking out and Minho just kind of laughed…and then freaked out.
Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were too distracted by Sungmin’s tiny pink underwear to really care and Sungmin must have still been wondering how he ended up in those…things.
Junsu was just flirting SHAMELESSLY with Yoochun from across the street. Teasing and pulling up his shirt slightly and bending over to pick up a sponge. Which he didn’t even need because there were no cars to wash due to everyone on the block being completely terrified of the safety hazard tumbling around in the mud.
Team Dong Junior tried not to let the battle distract us. (Well, everyone accept Yoochun.) So Heechul and Jaejoong continued their (ahem, FRIENDLY and not MURDEROUS) water fights. Flicking water everywhere, dousing each other with buckets of suds and smacking each other’s behinds with wet towels.
It was after Heechul shoved a water hose on full blast down Jaejoong’s pants that Yunho suddenly jumped in the mud fight. I don’t even know why. One minute I glanced over there and he was trying to pry Siwon’s arms from around Kangin’s neck. Next minute after Jaejoong screamed and ran around like a hyper school girl, he just…jumped in the fight.
Even Junsu doesn’t know why he did it with no provocation. ALTHOUGH, I don’t see why he would notice while he was too busy doing street foreplay with Yoochun. Whatever. He’s not on my team and Yoochun is a useless excuse for a human being, anyway. Pfft. He wasn’t even fully awake and unzombie-fied before Junsu took his pants off.
Tablo-hyung even ended up in that fight.
…I still don’t understand this. He dropped his car off at our car wash, walked across the street to the Super Bang mud war…and jumped in.
So Team Dong Junior totally had this fundraiser competition…thingy in the bag.
Wrong.
Yesung disappeared.
I guess the mud had gotten so chaotic that no one knew who was punching who anymore and after a while it was only Kangin, Yunho, (for some strange reason) Tablo (for some even stranger reason) and Siwon, with Shindong trying to calm them down by himself.
Leeteuk was counting the money from our sales when I heard shouting coming from the other side.
When I looked over, there was a brown, big-headed swamp monster running from around the corner with a pile of six-packs trailing behind it in a red wagon.
Yesung…the brown, big-headed swamp monster had snuck away in all his mud-covered glory and discovered another brilliant idea. That’s when I heard him scream,
“FREE BEER!”
Genius. Just genius.
Who can resist free beer?
So, long story short, Super Bang finally got some customers. A lot of customers. Some of their customers were already scrubbed sparkly clean by the hard work of Dong Junior a few hours ago, but after the free beer, I saw them again on Super Bang’s side. What the…?
Kibum even disappeared after a while. And when he came back walking a little unsteadily, he silently slipped a bottle in my back pocket and kept hosing down the car we were working on. Or at least, the LAST car we were working on.
And so it became Dong Junior ghost town car wash vs. Super Bang block par-tay car wash.
And so they won in the end.
Whatever. At least I got a bottle of free beer.
Darn it, it’s warm now.
Gah!
~$Chang-Ching$
Turn the page~ Page 41 - Jaejoong || Page 43 - Yunho