i hate updating
The house is too quiet without him here. There are days I sit on the couch and turn around thinking I've heard him call my name or thinking I've heard his laugh. I miss him, but at the same time I'm angry at him. I feel betrayed. I'm so upset that he's blown his chance at something he wanted to be since forever. I'm upset that he kept this from all of us. I didn't get to say goodbye to him. He left early in the morning and was told not to keep in contact with his for the duration we're secluded in the house. That's it. I don't know where we are standing relationship-wise, and I do not want to figure it out. I wish he was here, but he isn't. I have to move on and continue to be a professional.
Meanwhile my best friend in the house just broke up with his girlfriend and I'm speechless. As soon as I found the news, I went to find him and tell him the usual "I am here for you." shit that is the routine. He turned and looked at me and I could tell he didn't want to talk about it. He said we should go back to practicing, and that's where he is right now. I'm not going to push the issue with him at all. If he wants to talk to me, he knows I'm here. I love Clay. He's always there for me so just once I would like to return the favor.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and the majority of us is very hard on Carmen. I think she's a wonderful person and she deserves to be here as much as Ruben. She has the energy and spirit that most of us lack plus she dances-which none of us hardly does . . . except me. I break it down you know. Speaking of Carmen, sorry baby girl, but if it comes down to you or Trenyce again, I will help you pack. I love Trenyce and I'll die if she isn't here.
I really wish Nikki McKibbin and Kristin Holt would shut the fuck up in my journal and go back to their own to pollute with their idiocy. Everyone knows Ruben is sleeping with me, Kristin, so back off my man. Don't you people watch the shows? I am always on him. :-*
I am off to make new icons because mine are all terrible. This icon is my new favorite icon. Hi Tamyra. :-*
Meanwhile my best friend in the house just broke up with his girlfriend and I'm speechless. As soon as I found the news, I went to find him and tell him the usual "I am here for you." shit that is the routine. He turned and looked at me and I could tell he didn't want to talk about it. He said we should go back to practicing, and that's where he is right now. I'm not going to push the issue with him at all. If he wants to talk to me, he knows I'm here. I love Clay. He's always there for me so just once I would like to return the favor.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and the majority of us is very hard on Carmen. I think she's a wonderful person and she deserves to be here as much as Ruben. She has the energy and spirit that most of us lack plus she dances-which none of us hardly does . . . except me. I break it down you know. Speaking of Carmen, sorry baby girl, but if it comes down to you or Trenyce again, I will help you pack. I love Trenyce and I'll die if she isn't here.
I really wish Nikki McKibbin and Kristin Holt would shut the fuck up in my journal and go back to their own to pollute with their idiocy. Everyone knows Ruben is sleeping with me, Kristin, so back off my man. Don't you people watch the shows? I am always on him. :-*
I am off to make new icons because mine are all terrible. This icon is my new favorite icon. Hi Tamyra. :-*