(no subject)
warning you all now this whole thing is a complaint so stop reading if you dont care
so tonight i get an unknown number calling me fone and get this
him--did you get the box i thru at your mail box??
me--no
hung up
k so i go running around outside calling all my neighbors and finally find the "box" i was looking for.
inside this box i find two ripped up teddy bears and every picture that i still had hung on my walls, all over my scrapbooks, and the ones that filled my photo albums...DESTROYED...every single journal entry in the journal thrown in there was crossed out...
so jeremy...you can erase me... you have my permision to never ever forgive me, for all i've put you thru, i just want you know how bad that hurt me, I have never cried so hard over one boy. You wer my first love and you will always be the boy that i'll never forget, from my virginity to my heart, you stole it all... your the boy i'll tell my children about. I have yet to even consider forgetting you. i will always and FOREVER love you jeremy thomas. i will always be here for you whenever you need anything. fuck i'll give you advise on how to treat your new girldfriend, b/c your the one who taught me how to make someone smile. You are the most amazing person i have ever met in my whole intire life, without a doubt... im so hurt that you think of me so deiferently... I hope my box was a little less hurtfull then yours. I refuse to forget you, or erase you in anyway. I still have my favorite pics of us floating around, and all my journal enrties spilling my heart out about how in love i was. I love you so much that i hate you. i cant stand seeing you in the halls, i hate the way you look right through me.
ugh... nothing really else to say except i love you bay....and i always will... your friend i will never ever ever leave. no matter how much you want to get rid of me. we're more then that. and dont even try to tell me we're not. be safe.... be good... i'll be thinking about you always.
other then that shit^^ lifes been amazing... absolutly amazing.. got to see everyone that matters this weekend... theyre was a little bit of ryan, cory, nick, bill, wlater, rapheal, jeremy k, SCOTTY, alex, kody... CIARAAAA..... spent all weekend with anna as always... AHH i saw ingrid... and lou... omg you girls i fucking missed you....
k.. thats really it... im broken tonight i'll try again tomorrow...
smile eveyone-- tomorrows monday.....fuck that
we'll call it a promise that we both broke, we'll hind in the photographs and notes we wrote... and when i see you again, i'll smile my best smile... because i'll rememeber us at our best, and not our worst...
p-s...i love you