Miss Me-- Axel/Roxas
Title: Miss Me
Story Type: Single-chapter (one-shot)
Coupling: Axel/Roxas
Genre(s): Romance, Angst
Rating: PG - PG-13
Description: "I would miss you..." was all he had to say, and Roxas could never be the same.
Click Disclaimer: The characters used in this story, and Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, and all the Kingdom Hearts stuff does not belong to me. I also don’t own the lyrics to “I Miss You”, which provides the song lyrics at the beginning of this story. Please don’t sue.
“Where are you? And I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight… Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.” -Blink 182, “I Miss You”
“No one would miss me.” The statement seemed bland… unfeeling. It’s what I meant it to be. Don’t ask questions, Axel… It gets messy that way, and we haven’t got emotion enough for that… Please, just don’t ask questions.
“That’s not true.” Axel was quiet for once, and it was unnerving. I tried to ignore him and I kept walking down the dark alley toward… where? Where could I go? Where would I go now?
There was too much to think about and plan to have time to be sorry and explain it all to Axel. He couldn’t understand… His Other was long gone, and mine… Who knew? Something was wrong with him… Something I didn’t know, but something that had left me with the Keyblade… I didn’t have a Heart… I didn’t have the Heart that had given Sora the Keyblade in the first place, so why did I have them? Was Sora dead? What had happened?
And why did Xemnas tell me about Sora now, of all times? Why not earlier? Why now, instead of never? Something was wrong, and I was determined to find out.
I was almost to the end of the alley when a few final words floated toward me from Axel.
“I would miss you…”
I paused. Something had caught in my throat, and I trembled inside. I was hesitating, just when I knew I couldn’t. I was strong… I was firm… I could leave him there… But the doubt chewed away at my insides, and turned my head, just slightly to the side, wishing there were something more I could do to make things right.
Wishing I could just have stayed.
“I would miss you...” The words were haunting, though I doubt Axel had meant for them to do so. It wasn’t that he was trying to hold me back; rather, he was only trying to let me go properly… Make things right for himself. It wasn’t as though he had asked me not to go… Just let me know what I knew would happen if I ever left.
I never thought I’d have to leave.
He didn’t have a Heart, and neither did I… Why were we so determined to play at this charade of existence? Determined to play that we had hearts, we swore we could feel emotion, and we could feel for one another… How far could that truly go? How far could we take the game? Pretend that we could feel love, and then… break the hearts we never had when we realized it was just a façade?
I tried not to play the game with you, Axel… I tried so hard not to… I tried being cold and quiet and distant, but none of it worked, because you’d just warm me up and talk for me and come find me wherever I was…But I played, and maybe it’s just a game… maybe I am non-existent… maybe I am…
I kept walking away, the knot in my throat tightening and the urge to just run was overwhelming, but I kept walking away. It took until I got around the corner before I stopped and, setting my head against the stone walls, I stared up at the black skies of Dark City.
I exhaled and paused before inhaling, wondering if the first breath would ever come...
Then I inhaled… And I knew that there would be no more heavy breathing and pillow-stifled moans that would come from my mouth, from a breath I had taken in on my own. I exhaled. That was hard, too, because I knew my breaths were numbered before I’d have to go back… Back…
To what? To Sora? Axel? Being lost and incomplete with Organization XIII? Being whole with Sora?
I knew I’d just have to go back, and only acceptance was useful now. No emotion anymore. No games. No playing that I had a Heart, and no wishing that Axel were there to provide it for me.
“I would miss you…”
I stared up at the sky and the endless darkness. I hated the darkness, but only because I hated the dark, empty space where my own Heart should have been. Sora had enough heart to go around… couldn’t he have spared some for me?
I decided to ask him when I found him… When I found out if he was alright, and why I had the Keyblades.
Truth first… Heart later. Axel, I’m sorry.
And, staring at the sky that was a dark as the hole in my incomplete existence, I inhaled a breath of thick, heavy city air and the sky blurred.
But Nobodies don’t… cry… I have to go back… I stared at the sky and felt the first tear slide down the curve of my eye and across my temple, into my hair.
Back to being complete with Axel? Being lost and incomplete with Sora? Organization XIII?... Nobodies don’t cry…
But I cried.
“I would miss you.”
“If you miss me…” And I breathed, and felt the Heart I didn’t have, and cried like I did. “I’ll miss you, too.”
End
Story Type: Single-chapter (one-shot)
Coupling: Axel/Roxas
Genre(s): Romance, Angst
Rating: PG - PG-13
Description: "I would miss you..." was all he had to say, and Roxas could never be the same.
Click Disclaimer: The characters used in this story, and Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, and all the Kingdom Hearts stuff does not belong to me. I also don’t own the lyrics to “I Miss You”, which provides the song lyrics at the beginning of this story. Please don’t sue.
“Where are you? And I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight… Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.” -Blink 182, “I Miss You”
“No one would miss me.” The statement seemed bland… unfeeling. It’s what I meant it to be. Don’t ask questions, Axel… It gets messy that way, and we haven’t got emotion enough for that… Please, just don’t ask questions.
“That’s not true.” Axel was quiet for once, and it was unnerving. I tried to ignore him and I kept walking down the dark alley toward… where? Where could I go? Where would I go now?
There was too much to think about and plan to have time to be sorry and explain it all to Axel. He couldn’t understand… His Other was long gone, and mine… Who knew? Something was wrong with him… Something I didn’t know, but something that had left me with the Keyblade… I didn’t have a Heart… I didn’t have the Heart that had given Sora the Keyblade in the first place, so why did I have them? Was Sora dead? What had happened?
And why did Xemnas tell me about Sora now, of all times? Why not earlier? Why now, instead of never? Something was wrong, and I was determined to find out.
I was almost to the end of the alley when a few final words floated toward me from Axel.
“I would miss you…”
I paused. Something had caught in my throat, and I trembled inside. I was hesitating, just when I knew I couldn’t. I was strong… I was firm… I could leave him there… But the doubt chewed away at my insides, and turned my head, just slightly to the side, wishing there were something more I could do to make things right.
Wishing I could just have stayed.
“I would miss you...” The words were haunting, though I doubt Axel had meant for them to do so. It wasn’t that he was trying to hold me back; rather, he was only trying to let me go properly… Make things right for himself. It wasn’t as though he had asked me not to go… Just let me know what I knew would happen if I ever left.
I never thought I’d have to leave.
He didn’t have a Heart, and neither did I… Why were we so determined to play at this charade of existence? Determined to play that we had hearts, we swore we could feel emotion, and we could feel for one another… How far could that truly go? How far could we take the game? Pretend that we could feel love, and then… break the hearts we never had when we realized it was just a façade?
I tried not to play the game with you, Axel… I tried so hard not to… I tried being cold and quiet and distant, but none of it worked, because you’d just warm me up and talk for me and come find me wherever I was…But I played, and maybe it’s just a game… maybe I am non-existent… maybe I am…
I kept walking away, the knot in my throat tightening and the urge to just run was overwhelming, but I kept walking away. It took until I got around the corner before I stopped and, setting my head against the stone walls, I stared up at the black skies of Dark City.
I exhaled and paused before inhaling, wondering if the first breath would ever come...
Then I inhaled… And I knew that there would be no more heavy breathing and pillow-stifled moans that would come from my mouth, from a breath I had taken in on my own. I exhaled. That was hard, too, because I knew my breaths were numbered before I’d have to go back… Back…
To what? To Sora? Axel? Being lost and incomplete with Organization XIII? Being whole with Sora?
I knew I’d just have to go back, and only acceptance was useful now. No emotion anymore. No games. No playing that I had a Heart, and no wishing that Axel were there to provide it for me.
“I would miss you…”
I stared up at the sky and the endless darkness. I hated the darkness, but only because I hated the dark, empty space where my own Heart should have been. Sora had enough heart to go around… couldn’t he have spared some for me?
I decided to ask him when I found him… When I found out if he was alright, and why I had the Keyblades.
Truth first… Heart later. Axel, I’m sorry.
And, staring at the sky that was a dark as the hole in my incomplete existence, I inhaled a breath of thick, heavy city air and the sky blurred.
But Nobodies don’t… cry… I have to go back… I stared at the sky and felt the first tear slide down the curve of my eye and across my temple, into my hair.
Back to being complete with Axel? Being lost and incomplete with Sora? Organization XIII?... Nobodies don’t cry…
But I cried.
“I would miss you.”
“If you miss me…” And I breathed, and felt the Heart I didn’t have, and cried like I did. “I’ll miss you, too.”
End