"Look at that lonely blank on the board...doesn't anyone want to make that black feel less lonely?"
My life is insane. I've decided that when I am a chic and famous writer in NYC one day, I am going to compose some sort of memoir. Now normally I find memoirs and autobiographical writing to bore the shit out of me, but I swear, my life story will not dissappoint you. It will be nothing short of nail biting. Lol. I can see it on the best sellers list already. On a more serious note, maybe it's just creative writing that has been bringing me these great ideas for writing. When I first graced the door of Mr. Ryker's room, I expected big beefy Mr. Ryker to be kind of...well...jock-like. I realized that I had the completely wrong impression of him. I can't say that I really like him, b/c he does still have this slight asshole aire about him, but he really surprised me. As a teacher, he's a lot more creative and left brained than I thought he was. His class is like a whole other perspective about him. Lol...I can't say that it isn't funny watching him stand up and talk about "finding your happy place" and "mustering your inner strength to write."
So, not until yesterday, did I really realize that this is it. This is my senior year. It's the last year in Crawfordsville, and I should be trying to live every day up to the best it can possibly be. I only have a limited time left with my boys and the bombshells. I mean, c'mon. Sure, it's bland and every day is a monotonous routine of get up, shower, go to school, go to work...blah blah blah. But in between theres pleanty of room for fun. My life has drug me down so much these past few months that I've realized what I depressing person I've become. I've worked really hard not to let other people see that about me, but I know how I feel most of the time, and I'm realizing what a waste of time it is. I'm gonna rock out this year with my girls, get over the petty shit that annoys me about most of the girls in my grade, and live it up the best that I can. I don't wanna have any regrets I guess.
My grandpa died two days ago. I think that that has also opened up my eyes a lot. Life is short. Granted the old man to 80-something, my dad and I sat and talked about it, how my g-pa had all of these goals and ambitions that he never got around to doing before he was bedridden. ect. I just don't wanna do that. It seems like the older you get, the more your life starts speeding by. So, yeah, maybe I'm not the happiest of people right now...but I'm never gonna get this time back, so why waste it. I really miss my grandparents now. The funeral is going to be really hard. To see my dad and aunts the way that I percieve them to be, is going to be excruciating to watch. If I see one solitary tear in my dad's eye, I'm gonna lose it. But I'll have Meghan there with me and my little brother. He helped me through my grandma. Honestly, that child is too smart for himself.
I'm really psyched that Alaina's back and I'm trying to mend all broken bridges in my life. I feel good. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something at school right now. It's my year to prove once in for all that I'm not the trouble making, party girl that all the teachers seem to think that I am. I know that I'm an intelligent person, and if I can just get past my own mind procrastinating then I should be fine. I'm extremely excited about SAT's and college visits. Just the though of getting to college and experiencing all of that is orgasmic. lol
Things at Arnis are okay I guess. The day where I say: "I love Arnis!" will probably never come, but hey, what can ya do. People there have their perception of me. Apparently I'm still there and feel at least somewhat excepted. I guess whatever void in Arni's I've filled, then good. Arnis = Money = Car. End of story for me.
Woo...so much to do within the next few days. I won't be going to school Thursday or Friday, so I'm gonna have an assload of make up homework to do.
Good luck to Buster at Ivy Tech. Study hard so you can go to BSU with me buddy! Don't be makin me go there all by myself. :( lol
Welp, I should probably go start my homework.
Peace out
XOXO
Katelyn
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Like...all the bees swarming you and stuff..ch."
-anonymous
(hahahahahahahahahahahahaha....oh well...when life gives you lemons...make lemonade!)
night
So, not until yesterday, did I really realize that this is it. This is my senior year. It's the last year in Crawfordsville, and I should be trying to live every day up to the best it can possibly be. I only have a limited time left with my boys and the bombshells. I mean, c'mon. Sure, it's bland and every day is a monotonous routine of get up, shower, go to school, go to work...blah blah blah. But in between theres pleanty of room for fun. My life has drug me down so much these past few months that I've realized what I depressing person I've become. I've worked really hard not to let other people see that about me, but I know how I feel most of the time, and I'm realizing what a waste of time it is. I'm gonna rock out this year with my girls, get over the petty shit that annoys me about most of the girls in my grade, and live it up the best that I can. I don't wanna have any regrets I guess.
My grandpa died two days ago. I think that that has also opened up my eyes a lot. Life is short. Granted the old man to 80-something, my dad and I sat and talked about it, how my g-pa had all of these goals and ambitions that he never got around to doing before he was bedridden. ect. I just don't wanna do that. It seems like the older you get, the more your life starts speeding by. So, yeah, maybe I'm not the happiest of people right now...but I'm never gonna get this time back, so why waste it. I really miss my grandparents now. The funeral is going to be really hard. To see my dad and aunts the way that I percieve them to be, is going to be excruciating to watch. If I see one solitary tear in my dad's eye, I'm gonna lose it. But I'll have Meghan there with me and my little brother. He helped me through my grandma. Honestly, that child is too smart for himself.
I'm really psyched that Alaina's back and I'm trying to mend all broken bridges in my life. I feel good. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something at school right now. It's my year to prove once in for all that I'm not the trouble making, party girl that all the teachers seem to think that I am. I know that I'm an intelligent person, and if I can just get past my own mind procrastinating then I should be fine. I'm extremely excited about SAT's and college visits. Just the though of getting to college and experiencing all of that is orgasmic. lol
Things at Arnis are okay I guess. The day where I say: "I love Arnis!" will probably never come, but hey, what can ya do. People there have their perception of me. Apparently I'm still there and feel at least somewhat excepted. I guess whatever void in Arni's I've filled, then good. Arnis = Money = Car. End of story for me.
Woo...so much to do within the next few days. I won't be going to school Thursday or Friday, so I'm gonna have an assload of make up homework to do.
Good luck to Buster at Ivy Tech. Study hard so you can go to BSU with me buddy! Don't be makin me go there all by myself. :( lol
Welp, I should probably go start my homework.
Peace out
XOXO
Katelyn
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Like...all the bees swarming you and stuff..ch."
-anonymous
(hahahahahahahahahahahahaha....oh well...when life gives you lemons...make lemonade!)
night