Waking up under a bush....in you're ex's garden...
ugh...I'm so aggrivated right now. I don't even know how to explain it. Monday I have a meeting with Mr. Bowling, yipee. Oh well, it'll help relieve my stress and get all the Grigsby shit off my chest to someone who will actually listen. I think thats been the problem lately. Theres no one to really listen to you, bc everyone else is too busy dealing with their own shit. I should relly get a psyciatrist. Or something. Like, it's like all these good things are coming my way, and all these oppourtunities for me, and I'm just too lethargic and pessimistic to realize them.
*I apologize now for writing such a depressing entry, but I'm in one of those moods so fuck off.
I feel like I've just been a complete bitch to everyone lately. I don't know. It's like I've temporarily lost my concience. My mind is just somewhere else entirely.
Sigh...how ironic, he's calling right now. My finger is gravitating towards the ignore button....ugh.
I'm thinking about making a new lj that nobody knows about, so that I can just spill everything I'm thinking, without anyone reading it and being hurt with what I say. And also because everything I'm feeling right now is really personal and I would rather not have anyone reading some of it.
I keep making decisions, and they re evaluating them...thinking that I've made the wrong one. My thought process is fucked up right now. And I came home and someone ate all my dougnuts that I bought this morning. Damnit. I have to get out of this house. It's driving me mad.
Oh, I also came to the realization that I think I might go to Ivy Tech. I have everything in line to get into a 4 year college, but I don't think I want to do that anymore. Like, it just took a completel 360 degree turn. Sigh...whatever. I'm sure that my insticts aren't completely intact while I think about this, but it was just a thought, I guess. My dad would be real bummed if he found out all of his children wern't going to be Ball State Alumnis..aw. (not)
I've gotta get off here before I say something stupid...I feel an extremely horrible mood coming on.
night,
K
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Getting drunk and forgetting that you don't go out with her anymore,
that she doesn't love you anymore...
Wanting too much, wanting to be close to someone too much..
trying to do the right thing, trying to withdraw,
so that you don't love so much...trying to go "okay"
and in doing so, something inside of you just dies, and you turn off
and then like all things in life...
she falls in love with you, and you don't care...."
*I apologize now for writing such a depressing entry, but I'm in one of those moods so fuck off.
I feel like I've just been a complete bitch to everyone lately. I don't know. It's like I've temporarily lost my concience. My mind is just somewhere else entirely.
Sigh...how ironic, he's calling right now. My finger is gravitating towards the ignore button....ugh.
I'm thinking about making a new lj that nobody knows about, so that I can just spill everything I'm thinking, without anyone reading it and being hurt with what I say. And also because everything I'm feeling right now is really personal and I would rather not have anyone reading some of it.
I keep making decisions, and they re evaluating them...thinking that I've made the wrong one. My thought process is fucked up right now. And I came home and someone ate all my dougnuts that I bought this morning. Damnit. I have to get out of this house. It's driving me mad.
Oh, I also came to the realization that I think I might go to Ivy Tech. I have everything in line to get into a 4 year college, but I don't think I want to do that anymore. Like, it just took a completel 360 degree turn. Sigh...whatever. I'm sure that my insticts aren't completely intact while I think about this, but it was just a thought, I guess. My dad would be real bummed if he found out all of his children wern't going to be Ball State Alumnis..aw. (not)
I've gotta get off here before I say something stupid...I feel an extremely horrible mood coming on.
night,
K
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Getting drunk and forgetting that you don't go out with her anymore,
that she doesn't love you anymore...
Wanting too much, wanting to be close to someone too much..
trying to do the right thing, trying to withdraw,
so that you don't love so much...trying to go "okay"
and in doing so, something inside of you just dies, and you turn off
and then like all things in life...
she falls in love with you, and you don't care...."