Gift fic for lilly0
Title: Déjà vu
Pairing/Characters: Ryo/Subaru, Yoko, Uchi, Jin & Yamapi.
Rating: pg13-15.
Warnings: Despite its beginning, none.
Notes: For lilly0 with all my love. I know I´m taking my chances with this plot, but I have my hopes high and hope you will like it. I know you asked for not a too angsty fic and I believe that came from your fear of not ( Read more... )
Pairing/Characters: Ryo/Subaru, Yoko, Uchi, Jin & Yamapi.
Rating: pg13-15.
Warnings: Despite its beginning, none.
Notes: For lilly0 with all my love. I know I´m taking my chances with this plot, but I have my hopes high and hope you will like it. I know you asked for not a too angsty fic and I believe that came from your fear of not ( Read more... )
Especially Pi and Jin :D
“Wow, dead? You must be good at it aren’t you. So what, if he is walking again then you should bang him some more,”
“I know, Jin sent me a message while he was on the phone with you,” Pi says once he calls him. Ryo hopes Pi will work. After all, he is the serious one of the three. “Dude, you should be proud of yourself. I mean, I wish I had that effect on my lovers.”
Lovers? As in plural? God, Ryo, focus!
“Then buy some Viagra, what do I care? Now I need to hang up. This conversation continues with my shower, my hand, and my imagination. Bye.”
I'm still grinning and laughing. These two bakas! Uchi at least was only sleepy, but these two idiots LOL
“Yeah,” he says and approaches his boyfriend. He hugs him tightly, not caring that his clothes are getting wet, and lifts his head, he stares into Subaru´s eyes, he doesn’t remember the last time he did that, the last time he actually took a minute to enjoy drowning himself in those brown seas. He takes a second to wonder why they haven’t done that in so long, then, he realizes for the first time that life, responsibility, and routine have notched their relationship. His heart shrinks with that sudden revelation. Has he been ignoring Subaru somehow? Sure, they have a life together, a daughter, work, they make love on a regular basis, but is the emotional side as close as before? Probably not. He caresses his boyfriend’s face lovingly. God, he loves him so much, and just the painful memory of losing him jolts him and Ryo kisses him, hard, deep, like he hasn’t in what feels like years, the butterflies in his stomach make him moan against his lips. Subaru answers his demands but stops him suddenly; the stern look on his face makes Ryo feel insecure about them for the first time “What?”
“Nothing. I’ll be late for work.”
“Oh, ok,” Ryo replies, but the disappointment in his voice is clear. Subaru looks at him and sighs. He smiles at him guiltily, and Ryo wonders why he looks apologetic. Now that he thinks of it, that is the very same expression he saw on Subaru’s face the last time he saw him. That day.
I'm sorry for quoting such a long paragraph, but this part was so intense and so *arghhhhhhhhhh* Ryo's desperation and how he is clinging to Subaru and at the same time Subaru is drifting away from him and for the first time Ryo realizes it. And poor boy, knowing that Subaru is going to die soon ><
And then Ryo asks this “Ne, Subaru, are you happy?” Ryo asks him timidly; maybe he needs to make some changes. If life has given him a chance at having Baru again, he needs to be someone that deserves that gift.
“Yeah, sure, why are you asking?”
His heart breaks a little. Maybe Subaru doesn’t love him anymore, or not like he thought he did.
“Just, I don’t know. I guess I wanted to know if you were somehow content with your life, with our life-”
Ryo´s voice breaks, he shuts up because he just doesn´t have the force to continue voicing out loud his worst fears and abruptly embraces Baru forcefully, trying to get the message across. He loves him so much and so entirely, he thinks not having Baru’s love in return would be even worse than his death.
This was so intense O_O I mean, I can totally feel with Ryo here and his insecurities. He was living in this bubble, believing that everything was perfect and now suddenly everything is coming down on him and he is realizing that it isn't. Like a punch into his face.
“Don’t ever leave me, ok?”
Subaru never answers; instead they cuddle together, and later go to sleep.
*CRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES*
And Subaru doesn't say anything ><
Then Thursday... by the way, did I tell you that it was brilliant to mix the days? That made it even more interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The panic attack O_O Like, seriously, this was so intense, I wanted to hug Ryo and tell him that everything would be alright again. I was crying through this, really ><
I loved this scene. I'm such a sucker for good angst <3
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“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m bothering you?” The offended and saddened tone in Subaru´s voice makes him cringe, he looks really offended by his words. Ryo feels at a loss; why would he be so sensitive about something like that? He doesn’t know he is going to die, or that he is already dead.
Oh god, these guys *headdesk* I mean, oh Baru, why are you even thinking something like that. It's so obvious how much Ryo loves you. He is an oblivious idiot, but he loves you.
I feel like this day was the low point for Ryo. Not only did he realize the whole mess he was in. He also felt hopeless and sad and small and he didn't know how to change what was going to happen.
And then, of course, he found out the truth.
YOKO ARE YOU SERIOUS? I MEAN LIKE; FUCK, RYO IS ALSO YOUR FRIEND! HOW CAN YOU CHEAT WITH YOUR FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND! Ryo should have kicked him, but he couldn't. And it's understandable. I would have reacted the same, I guess, totally paralyzed.
he glares with all his might, at his nerve to dare talking to him when he is trying to steal the one thing Ryo loves the most, when he is willingly destroying a family, because he and Baru and Kara are a family, despite his mistakes and his own obliviousness, he doesn’t deserve a low blow like this one.
He chokes back infuriated tears and shoves the bento into Baru´s chest, who jumps at the force of the impact.
“You forgot your lunch.”
“Oh right, sorry.”
The bastard doesn’t even have the decency to look him in the eye. Ryo is sure they didn’t see him hiding before, but apparently Subaru feels as if he has been caught.
I already said that I'm a sucker for good angst, right? And this is exactly my cup of tea.
Again, this was so intense. I want to hit Yoko, really, and I want to slap some sense into Subaru. Though, for me, there is something sad about Subaru. He is planning to make a mistake, but something about him, the guilt, his whole mood, it makes me feel sorry for him.
I think here Ryo is really struggling hard, when he wonders if it's worth it, if it's worth to fight for Subaru. After all he was about to cheat on him.
Ryo realy is at a low point here and his phone call to Uchi shows it even more. I feel so sad for him and I want to shake him and yell at him and hug him and tell him that of course Subaru is worth it and that he shouldn't stop fighting.
Then of course, Friday, also this day was really intense. But here I think Ryo won back some of his confidence to fight, even though he says that he doesn't know if it's worth it. Uchi comes with this confession then, and seriously, I know boys are normally not really chatterboxes, but just imagine if Uchi had given Ryo some hints earlier! Or something like that >< But at the same time he maybe thought that it wasn't so serious. And who knows how Ryo would have handled this information.
“I think at some point he lost his self confidence. He saw you so sufficient and confident about how your lives had changed, how you passed from being a partying, half alcoholic guy to an amazing parent, while Baru was lost all the time about what to do. It seemed natural for you while for him it was like learning how to eat, talk, and tie his shoes for the first time. You know he has never been good with kids or emotions. And I think he thought you were better off without him, or worse, that he didn’t make any difference at all in your lives.”
“But that’s nonsense!”
“I know. Look Ryo, Baru is gone now, and you know he loved you. Maybe Yoko was a way to escape from something, not the family you were, but how unworthy of you and Kara he felt.”
This is just so sad >< and I can totally feel Ryo's shock and his sadness and anger and his desperation because Subaru kept this inside for one year. And because he himself didn't realize any signs, because he had been so oblivous.
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The part with Kara-chan was so cute, how she showed Subaru that she also loves him and that she sees him as a Daddy. And this “Tell Papa Ryo you love him, too,” he hears Kara saying and he blushes, not expecting their innocent kid to intercede.
“Of course I love him, too, and I care about him, too.”
And then Ryo realizes that he had also been making mistakes and this just made my heart clench. But he was straight-foward and confident for once and decided to talk to Subaru honestly. I love it how strong Ryo is here, he is simply wonderful.
“Can’t we…be like before?” He lifts his arms to put them on Subaru’s neck as he closes the distance between them, in every sense. He feels as if with every inch he is drifting closer, he is breaking little walls down.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
The moment he thinks to himself that even if he can't make Subaru stay with him or even if he can't change their fate, he wants to show Subaru how important he is and he wants to give him a last wonderful memory. Seriously, this was a real breaking point for me <3
Okay, and I guess you can imagine that I could quote the whole Sunday back to you, because it was just so freaking perfect. How sad Ryo was at the beginning and then the voice mail from Subaru. This is the most wonderful part in this fic and beautiful and amazing and everything and perfect and awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
“Hi, so…mmm…I’m driving right now.” His eyes widen when he hears Baru on the other end of the line. “About last night, and the weird things you have been asking lately, well…I just want you to know that you two are the best thing that has ever happened to me, so…” he whimpers in bittersweet hurt. Ryo hears the sound of wheels skidding on road. “Sorry, I was turning around right now,” Baru continues. “Anyway… I love you Ryo with all my heart. Sorry I didn’t say it last night, when you, when we….after we….well, you know…. and I was on my way toward making the biggest mistake of my life you know, probably one that would destroy our family and us altogether, and I just…I’ve been a little lost these couple of years….” Hope rises in Ryo’s heart at those words. Was it possible? “But I still choose you, us…so see you at home babe, I really hope to find Kara sleeping and you waiting for me naked with Yakisoba,” he says and Ryo laughs, happy tears now sliding from his eyes. “I know, you will wait me with rice instead, but it’s cool, as long as you are naked,” Baru says with humor. Ryo thinks he hasn’t ever heard him being this happy before. “Love you.” Ryo swallows at those last words. He pants nervously and jumps when he feels a tender hand caressing his back. He turns around, and he cries, smiles, and laughs at the same time when he sees Subaru staring lovingly back at him.
This made me cry and laugh and smile and grin like an idiot. And then I cracked up at the naked part. This was so touching and sweet and at the same time there was this little fun point with Subaru telling Ryo to wait for him naked <3 <3 <3 <3
And the ending was amazing and hot and sweet. Finally they broke the walls down and are together again, for real. And they got such a wonderful second chance.
I was so happy that it had a good ending for these two. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighshappily*
Okay, I think this is the longest comment I've ever written :D
But I loved this fic so much, it's a master piece, really!
I can't thank you enough for writing this for me and I think I can't tell you enough how much I loved this and how much I adore this and how wonderful and meaningful this was <3
THANKS YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I was so worried that you won't like it, but I risked because I know how much you love good angst, as u more than once have said, a lil bit of angst is the key of an awesome love story, and that was what I wanted to give to your my friend.
U have no idea of how happy it makes me that u like it^_^
I have to say that I owed you something epic after that awesome fic you wrote for me for the mini_ryo exchange, I'm still flailing over so much epicness in that fic lol!
Anyway, thanks a lot my friend, thank you for liking the fic, for writing such an awesome comment and for being such an awesome friend and reader, I love you tones and it makes me really happy that u like it^_^
Million Hugs and kisses!!!^_^
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