Nov 04, 2007 10:35
one thing i didn't anticipate: this tour forces me to acknowledge nose-to-nose my history. last night, i went to dinner and a show with a woman who went to college with me; she's coming to see me slam tonight. it occurs to me that she has witnessed nearly my entire body of work, and that she will have a unique context for my poetry--in fact, she may have been present the very first time i read a poem out loud. i boarded the train to chicago at the exact same station my mother used to do the exact same thing to visit my father here. my echoes are not entirely my own. this fascinates me twofold.
first: i have a body of work spanning a decade and worthy of long-range critique. i am best at the second-person confession. i have a flair for conversation. i rely heavily upon "true" things to create. all these things have proven to be both strengths and weaknesses.
finally: i am someone who disappears; this reconnection is wildly out of character. i feel as if my skin's ill-fitting. i like myself both better and less depending upon where i'm sitting--and with whom. i don't know if i can sustain these rediscovered relationships, but it's interesting to challenge my own definition of friend. i wonder what these reunions satisfy for me.
anyway.