(no subject)
It's so crazy that we could be starting this whole new beginning to our lives and be so sad. Every fucking thing is breaking apart because it's never ever going to be the same again. I don't even want to make the effort to hang out with people anymore because that will only make it hurt more when they leave. I'm incredibly grateful that I don't have to leave Michael next year; that would be too much. But honestly my entire life besides that is staying on the east coast. Basically everyone that has made my life amazing so far and kept me from going crazy is going to be back in DC while I'm off at college pretending I'm not homesick. I think I'm too young to move out. I need another year to make things better. I barely even talk to my parents anymore and they've done everything for me. I don't even know them because I'm always off doing something that I think is better but really will mean nothing. When you get down to it family is the most permanent form of friendship in the world. I'm so fucking fucking fucking STUPID to keep doing this to them. I can't even watch a full movie with them without getting a phone call.