i love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life...
it's been such a long time since i've updated. almost 2 months. geez...i'm a slacker. i guess a lot has gone on... twirp, me failing my driving test, my wreck (which wasn't my fault by the way), actually getting my license, everything with daniel, getting closer to some friends and growing apart from others. i think mostly just growing up. i think i've really come into myself this year, realizing who I was, what I want, what I like, how I want to live my life, what I value. i think i've gotten past "fitting in". not entirely, as much as i want to deny it, i want to be accepted, but what i mean is compromising yourself merely for the acception of other people. i've realized that a lot of things aren't as bad as i make them out to be, that just because i don't have what everyone else has that it really won't be the end of the world, that even though people don't always call, that doesn't mean they aren't thinking of you, that sometimes distancing yourself from things is the best thing you can do, that you can fall in love with someone over and over again, that life doesn't always have to be perfect, that sometimes the best thing to do on a friday night is to stay at home by yourself, bake cupcakes, and watch a movie, that i'm beautiful in my own way, that no matter what goes on, what i say, whatever i could possibly do, my family are the only people that will ALWAYS be there for me. i don't really know where i'm going with this, just that i love life. sure, there are things that aren't the way i want it to be. like i can't stand school anymore. i honestly don't know how im going to get through the next 2 months because i have ZERO motivation. it's not that i hate it, i'm just tired of the routine of things right now. but the weather is really helping. today when i was riding with the windows downs and my hair was blowing in my face and i was singing at the top of my lungs i was SO happy. it was just a reminder that in 43 more school days (yes, i've been counting down since the first day we started) i have THREE MONTHS to do absolutely nothing. or whatever i feel like. with NO responsibility. ahhhh. i can't wait. i miss the beach.