May 14, 2005 02:02
Yea, so i know i complain a lot, but here i go again. My friends are prettier than I am. They are drop dead gorgeous. And when it comes to guys, i'm more of a friend or a "sister." Like tonight, my friends are hanging out here and i found myself lying on the floor until i almost cried just because i am so jealous.
That is why when i fall in love, i fall in love hard. It means a lot to me when someone tells me they care about me or pay the slightest bit attention to me. So when Matt told me i was beautiful all of the time, i believed it. I am a fucking idiot. Tonight when Zack called he said something that really offended me. I tried to play it off, but i cannot help but get upset.
When we dated i just remember all the compliments he would tell my friends..or say about them. Then, i remember what he said to me. Reminding me of my acne, my small boobs, my flat ass, my rolly belly how my other friends look so pretty in their clothes. Just fuck it all.
I'll put more in later..bed time. Good night.