Breathe in deep, let it out slow..
Well, these past couple of weeks have been wonderful with my girlfriends. But, Matt on the other hand...i just don't know if i can deal with it anymore. He says he misses me way too much, says he loves me way too much, gets upset way too much, and basically..he thinks that he's better than me which is obnoxious. He told me that my clothes are not pretty, and that i dont have any style. He said it came out wrong and that he meant to say that he thinks that i dont think im beautiful enough for him..yea so his looks are better than mine, but i'm smarter than him. And i don't say that often at all. Looks are not everything. I have a style..it's just not his and i'm not going to dress metrosexual everyday. I told him that none of my other boyfriends ever said that and i cried and was mad about it for a day towards him. I am still upset. It's the worst thing to know that someone doesn't appreciate you. It is a pain in the ass to pick out clothes now just so that he won't make fun of what i'm wearing. I'm extremely subconscious now and i just can't take it. Even when he says i'm beautiful i feel that he's lying. And i've been going shopping a lot beacuse of this, and i know i shouldnt be..i just want to be pretty. And prom..gah..he's just gonna tell me how other girls are pretty all night. Is any of this even worth it?? I've never felt like this before. And if it wasn't Matt..he would be dumped. But a lot of you know why i can't break up with him..and it kills me. He treats me like i have to be his freaking babysitter..like kindra said.."he's 18, not 6" He doesnt tell his parents where he's going so they call my cell phone and get mad at me..this is ridiculous! This is why they hate me, because i'm a freaking babysitter. Yea i like Matt, yea i love Matt, but i am not in love with Matt. i do know what the difference is and i know that Matt is not perfect for me. I don't think that anyone deserves beong told that they dress bad or any of the other stuff he says. Yeah, i don't work out..i don't have abs. i dont care..yeah, it'd be nice, but i just don't care enough. He has to be massive and he tells me i should go running, or that i should do sit-ups. It's really upsetting and he is just becoming a total jackass. I just think that i need to break up with him, because i find myself being more sad than happy these days. i simply just can't do it. I'm sorry for bitching. I have the best friends ever and they make everything worthwhile. I'm just ready for school to be over..which spring break is awesome right now. Mall with Marya since we couldnt go to the beach, b/c apparently i had a kid seven years ago who i have to babysit constantly. Well, im done venting. I'm sorry.