2/4
Title: Water's Edge
Pairing: Nanase Haruka/OC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Spring has arrived, and they finally move on.
Note: This is the second part of the fifth installment. You may find the previous installments here:
Coastline
Soup-Port
Harbor
Island [ 1 | 2 | 3 ]
When the semester starts, Tokyo becomes ten times as bustling as it normally is; students commuting here and there, office workers flocking to this building, to that, pedestrians walking everywhere and all of them, whether they like it or not, contribute to the noise and traffic.
Sousuke finds himself back in this city he has come to know so well throughout his years in high school. Not that he missed being there or anything, but it pays to know which route one has to take and/or avoid when one’s father deliberately asks you to help him with his business by running errands here and there. He needs to pick up some materials at a friend’s shop located near some university. He forgets the name of the school but at least he knows the name of the shop, which makes his noted information more significant. But Sousuke really isn’t that good with directions and most of the times, he doesn’t want to ask for directions, not until he tries but once he does and it still amounts to nothing, and then he asks for help.
“Where the heck is this?” Sousuke asks himself as he stands outside a bookstore. Checking the map his father drew for him, he doesn’t understand why there’s no bookstore indicated on the paper. He tries toggling the note on different sides but still no luck. He has been wandering around the city for over an hour now and he doesn’t like how he’s getting nowhere in such a long time. Sighing, he finally decides to ask for directions and upon doing so, right as he was about to step into the bookstore, a familiar figure walks out from within and stuns him indefinitely.
“Yamazaki-kun? Is that you?” Miharu asks in surprise.
Sousuke, feeling a tad awkward, bows his head a little. “Yo.”
“I was on my way back to my apartment,” she shares briefly before noticing Sousuke’s inhibited nature. “Is something wrong?”
“No…”
Wanting to take a break from figuring out his father’s map, Sousuke and Miharu wander off to a park nearby. It’s quite different from the one back home since it stretches farther and wider, with more trees and gardens and even a playground, whereupon its swings both Miharu and Sousuke settle down.
“So you’re attending the same university as Makoto,” Sousuke comments after hearing more of Miharu’s tale of why she’s in Tokyo now.
“Uhuh. And you’re helping your father run his business? You’re such a responsible son, Yamazaki-kun,” Miharu comments on Sousuke’s story about why he’s in Tokyo that day. Admittedly, she was waiting for him to pick up her slight sarcasm but he doesn’t.
“I quit swimming.”
A strange silence slips in. Sousuke had predicted this, more or less, because he’s aware that Miharu doesn’t really know much about him and him of her so her lack of reply doesn’t surprise him all too much.
“You weren’t at the nationals, were you?” Miharu shakes her head. “So you didn’t see my injury,” Sousuke clarifies as if with himself. “I damaged my shoulder a few years ago and it’s starting to seem like I won’t be able to swim anymore. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying. I’m just going to take a break for a while.”
“I’m glad.”
Sousuke doesn’t speak.
“If you stopped swimming completely, I think Rin would get really, really upset.”
“You’re right.”
The silence from before stretches longer, the two of them losing themselves in their own thoughts now. They don’t really have anything in particular to talk about; they already asked the usual things they ought to know of each other, as part of the routinely way of catching up. There’s a thought, actually, in Sousuke’s mind since the moment he finally realized that there was something between Haruka and Miharu. At the time, he and Miharu weren’t really on speaking terms so he didn’t think it was okay to ask but since he already went as far as to threaten her (for Rin’s sake, no less) and spending that afternoon with her at the café and even going out of his way to give her advice that day at the park, Sousuke might as well ask now.
“How’s Haru? Is he here, too?”
“He’s training in W College. It’s far from X University so he lives by himself in a different apartment.”
Sousuke looks up at the sky. “Why do you like him?”
Miharu looks up at the sky, too.
“Maybe it’s just how expressionless he is but he doesn’t seem to like you at all.”
Why am I saying this?
The clouds are thick and puffy that day so that the sun playfully hides behind them and grants the people below a cool, breezy day; a safe one, for someone with sensitive skin like Miharu.
“He understands me.” Miharu looks down and smiles at the sand beneath her feet. “That’s not really easy to do, from my point of view.”
Sousuke looks down at the sand beneath his feet, too, but he can’t seem to smile at it, uncomprehending of the gist of such and yet Miharu does so. From her honesty, somehow, he suddenly remembers that race he had with Haruka back when they were in middle school and it certainly doesn’t leave him a pleasant feeling.
After Miharu gives Sousuke his needed directions (the shop is actually quite near the university!), they part ways. Neither of them commented on Sousuke’s question, having mentally decided that Miharu’s answer suffices as both an explanation and a remark. What Sousuke needs to do now is fetch his father’s materials, and figure out why he feels frustrated whenever Miharu’s answer floats across his thoughts.
It’s understandable, really, why Makoto worries about Miharu and how she’s adjusting to university life. She has shared with him, although with a smile, that everything is still so new to her even after a month into the semester. He, on the other hand, has already found new friends and they’ve been getting along just fine throughout the days yet that’s the difficult part of wanting to keep an eye on Miharu - since they belong to different departments, their schedules seem to never coincide except for lunch break, which Makoto allots to her. He tries to the best of his efforts to watch over Miharu not only for Haruka’s sake, but also for his peace of mind. He worries more that Haruka is so far away and exhaustingly busy and because of that, he knows Miharu is probably distancing herself again. Makoto understands why she does that and frankly, nowadays, he does that, too, for Haruka’s sake but if this keeps up, he fears that Miharu might get the same thoughts she did back when they were still in high school; the very same thoughts that she had shared with him when they were at the pool one fine afternoon, during lunch break.
“Do you want to visit Haru this weekend?” Makoto sees Miharu’s eyes glow at the suggestion but the shine soon fades, a reason probably afloat. She hums in thought now (although the aura of defeat is around her) and tries to finish her sushi. “I’m sure Haru will be happy,” he continues with an encouraging smile that makes Miharu smile back.
Saturday afternoon, and Haruka opens his door to find Miharu standing there - awkward and embarrassed.
“I’m sorry for dropping by suddenly,” Miharu says as she follows Haruka into the living room.
“It’s okay,” he replies shortly. Before he goes to the kitchen, he takes a quick glance at Miharu over his shoulder. She’s standing in front of the balcony doors, perhaps admiring the sky. “Have you eaten lunch?”
“I have,” she answers as she turns around. Haruka has already disappeared into the pantry. “Do you need help in the kitchen?”
There’s no answer which prompts Miharu to seat herself on the couch and quietly wait for Haruka to return. She scans the coffee table in front of her and notes that there are dozens of papers upon which regimens for different weeks are written as well as dietary plans and lists of recommended books to read and documentaries to watch. Just looking at them sprawled across the table makes her feel dizzy and faint, but even more amazed and excited for Haruka. He’s doing his best, after all.
Haruka returns with his meal - mackerel, rice and miso soup - and a glass of water and another of strawberry juice which he passes on to Miharu once he settles himself on the table, collecting his papers and putting them aside.
“If you want some, there’s more in the kitchen.”
“Thank you.”
“Did Makoto drop you off?”
Miharu drinks a bit of her strawberry juice then shakes her head. “He gave me directions and instructions to get here. He said he has homework to do today.”
Eating silently, Haruka recalls that Makoto had told him only that Thursday that he finished all of his assignments and was only doing some advance reading. He unconsciously narrows his eyes at his bowl of soup.
Liar.
“I suppose it would be more fun if he was here, huh?”
Haruka looks up at Miharu from across the table and sees the smile he hasn’t seen for so, so, so long. It’s a given why he forgives Makoto at that moment; Haruka has Miharu all to himself that day and he knows that Makoto must have intended to stay behind for this purpose alone.
“Not really…”
“Hmm?”
Haruka stays quiet.
“Hey, Haru? Do you think you could tell me about your days at school? I’d love to hear about them,” Miharu says with a shine in her eyes that makes it difficult for Haruka to refuse. It’s been a whole month!
While Haruka continues with his lunch, he talks about his training and classes in an even-measured pace, much like how one would read bedtime stories to children, only with a little more excitement. Miharu listens quietly for fear that she might disturb his stories and she doesn’t want to do that at all. She closes her eyes from time to time to try and match his words to a picture or scenery and then sees him there, all the while doing his utmost. He pauses in between stories as if to check if she’s still interested - and she always is - before he starts with a new one. It’s only been a month but from everything that has happened to Haruka, Miharu feels like a year has already passed. Although she’s happy that he’s doing extremely well with his training, she can’t help but feel a little lonely. And yet she pushes that aside.
“Miharu,” Haruka calls abruptly. Miharu hums as an answer, leafing through the small stack of papers that he had put aside earlier on. “Stay over.”
Wordlessly at first, Miharu looks up at Haruka. He’s tidying up now. “I-Is it really okay…?”
“Mm…” he mumbles as confirmation before he steadily retreats to the kitchen to wash up.
Alone once again, Miharu simply, almost dazedly, turns toward the balcony to stare at the loitering grey clouds and the vast grey sky. She doesn’t really wait for weather forecasts, wanting them to be a surprise, like Haruka’s request.
The clouds eventually burst. Until after dinner, Haruka and Miharu had spent the hours talking about school whilst playing card games and even a little bit of chess. Haruka mentioned Rin in their conversations about their childhood like how he used to be all smiles and friendly and loud but now he has become moody (to which Miharu reacts with chuckles) and how he can be stubborn at times. He even mentioned the time when they saw Rin off at the airport en route to Australia a few weeks back. It just so happens that he left a day after he and Miharu wandered off to town. Haruka said, nonchalantly, that Rin has always been a crybaby but at the airport that day, he gave them a toothy grin and a warm good-bye. Then there was that conversation about how Miharu has been writing stories since she was five-years-old and how, back in middle school, she qualified to go to a journalism contest up to the regionals even though she was entered by her teacher at the last minute and was totally unprepared, pulling her out of cheering practice for their sports festival. They talked a lot that day and both of them found it hard to believe that they did. For reasons beyond them, they couldn’t do this back when they were in high school.
“Here.” Haruka hands Miharu a shirt and a pair of jogging pants. He admits to himself that when he asked her to stay over earlier, he had just blurted out the first thing that came to mind upon seeing her smile. After dinner a few moments ago, he even went to the convenience store to buy extra necessities for a guest, making Miharu stay and watch over the room. It was already late, that’s why.
“Look! Look!”
Toward the call, Haruka turns and sees Miharu dressed up in the shirt and jogging pants he gave her (which are his) and observes that they’re really loose on her. She doesn’t seem upset though as she turns ‘round and ‘round, showing off the garments’ looseness. He remembers that she is actually fond of big and loose clothes; most of her shirts are.
“It’s still raining,” Miharu points out in a whisper as they listen to the loud downpour from the couch.
“Yeah…”
The room has descended into darkness, however not completely for the lamp by the couch, on Haruka’s side, flickers calmly, offering just a tiny yet significant spark. The sound of rain is calming and the warmth from both of their bodies that touch and mingle against each other as they sit with their arms pressing against each other’s lightly under the blanket soothes the evening even more.
Miharu has leaned back into the couch, her body sinking in her space, her eyes closed. Beside her, Haruka has his eyes closed, too, and he listens to the staccatos of a heart; either his or hers, he isn’t sure but the melody is there. He reopens his eyes upon feeling Miharu shiver beside him. He doesn’t say anything as he adjusts himself so that she can press closer to him for more warmth. When she does, Miharu is facing him and like a magnet catching its desired force, Haruka’s eyes stare deeply into hers. They have gazed at each other like this before and yet, and yet, this is the first time that their lips are merely inches away and for a split second, they feel their breaths ghost over and then a kiss - chaste, light, simple and so very innocent in every way - their first. When they pull away and open their eyes to see each other once more, in their orbs are reflections of themselves with their cheeks rosy. Both of them look away at the same time, embarrassed.
“I…” Haruka mumbles without turning back to Miharu. The warmth of her lips is still on his. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Sleep in the bedroom.”
As embarrassed as Haruka is, Miharu quietly stands up and walks past the couch. She turns around and briefly shares gazes with Haruka before the boy looks down in subtle panic. He’s so awkward that her already-beating hard heart races even faster. “G-Good night.”
“Good night.”
Once the door to the bedroom closes with a click, Haruka lies back on the couch, his legs dangling off the armrest. The ceiling is stained with the shadow of the outline of the lamp’s shade and the light looks like it’s dancing, as if it’s a candle of sorts. The rain seems never-ending as it continues to fall but it’s not cold anymore; no, not really. Haruka’s whole body is burning.
Soft…
And then the night goes on gently, pleasantly.
The following morning, Haruka wakes up at 6 to jog. He eases into the bedroom as carefully as he can to get his change of clothes as well as to check if Miharu is still fast asleep. Under the white comforter, Miharu is on her side, hugging a pillow and snoring slightly. Haruka takes his training wear from the closet before he walks toward the bed to check if the girl has drooled onto his pillow. She hasn’t, but he observes her more: her long eyelashes lining prettily against her pale skin, her hair a complete mess and her arms coiled loosely around his second pillow have somehow become thinner. Remembering that this is the first time he has ever seen her like this, Haruka can’t help but wonder if someone else has, feeling a tad jealous and selfish at the same time.
The more he looks at her sleeping figure, the more he realizes that Miharu has lost weight, becoming even more fragile than she already is. He should have noticed earlier that she hasn’t been eating because the night before, over dinner, she had only eaten half a cup of rice and so very few bits of fish and sips of soup.
Kneeling down beside the bed, Haruka pokes Miharu’s cheek lightly. “Hey.”
“Hnn…”
“I’m going out for a jog.”
Alarmed, Miharu opens her eyes and tries to sit up. Still obviously drowsy, she contains her yawn and attempts to pull the covers aside so she can stand but Haruka places a hand on her head to stop her. “You don’t have to get up.”
“I need to keep watch-“
Haruka begins to pat her head gently. “Go back to sleep.”
“But…” Miharu looks down. “Will you come back soon…?”
Perhaps Miharu thinks she’s in a dream of sorts because from the way she’s acting, she seems to be more honest and even more child-like. Haruka doesn’t know how to react to this properly but he sighs and gives her a few more pats.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Miharu holds out her pinky toward Haruka, who coils his around hers awkwardly. Even her fingers have become so thin and weak, weak enough to tremble with just a touch. After she lets go, she lies back down and pulls the covers up to her chin and within a few blinks, she has gone back to sleep. Haruka turns on his heel and walks toward the door, looking back once then he disappears into the hall.
Probably an hour passed when Haruka finally gets home. He goes into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Taking off his shirt and walking hurriedly to the bathroom to take his usual dip in the tub, he unexpectedly finds Miharu bent over the tub that’s now filled with water, turning the faucet off. She’s possibly still drowsy as she hasn’t noticed Haruka’s presence in the room not until she turns around and sees him there, upper half bare. Regardless of how many times Miharu has already seen Haruka like this, her body reacts the same as ever, her cheeks becoming red. She smiles shyly at the boy.
“I thought I’d prepare the bath for when you get back,” she explains simply as she totters toward the door, making sure not to bump Haruka.
“T-Thank you…” Behind him, Miharu chuckles weakly.
“You’re welcome.”
Some time passes. Haruka gets out of the bath and changes into new clothes, proceeding to the living room where Miharu has collapsed on the couch, sloppily sprawled over with her face buried on the blanket Haruka had used the night before.
“Are you still sleeping?”
There’s no response. Haruka ignores that and settles himself by the coffee table, reading his papers as he reclines against the sofa. Beside him, he sees Miharu’s arm stretched toward the floor, her hand barely touching the wood. He stares at that hand and glimpses the tiny mole that looks like a chocolate smudge. Curious, he pokes the middle of her palm to see if she’d react, but she doesn’t.
In the tranquil moment, Haruka’s mind finally registers that the two of them spent the night together - alone - and that this is their first morning. When did Haruka start becoming conscious of these things? Paying mind to these little moments? Feeling himself become nervous just thinking about them, his stomach flipping? Right then, just as he feels the couch sink from Miharu’s adjusting, his body heats up, suddenly aware of her body that close to him. It doesn’t make sense to Haruka, really, so he busies his mind by memorizing his routines.
“Miharu,” Haruka calls out behind him an hour later. “Miharu, wake up. It’s almost noon.”
Finally awake, Miharu stretches her arms then rolls over on her back, staring at the ceiling dazedly before she sits up and rubs the sleep off her eyes. Haruka has stood up to get her a glass of water and when he returns, he stares at her. In his loose clothes, she’s hugging her legs, looking distantly at the balcony doors and perhaps the world beyond it. Sunlight is slowly seeping into the room and he catches her eyes follow the minute movement.
“Thank you,” Miharu says now as Haruka passes the glass to her. She drinks half of the water then sighs. “I’m sorry for oversleeping.”
“Didn’t you sleep well last night?”
Discreetly, Miharu looks away and forces out a shaky chuckle. “M-Maybe…”
The second she looks back, Haruka sees the remnants of blush, realizing.
Ah… Was she thinking about that?
Unknowingly, Haruka blushes as well, excusing himself to get another glass of water. Little does he know that Miharu saw the honesty painting his face and, feeling that they’re on the same boat, she smiles to herself, relieved.
Right around lunchtime, when the sun is high and drying the leftover raindrops from last night completely, Miharu takes her leave after eating and helping Haruka wash up.
“Thank you for letting me stay over,” she says as she walks out, Haruka holding the door open for her.
“I asked you to…” Haruka mumbles to himself, reluctantly correcting the girl but she doesn’t hear.
“Take care, Haru.”
Haruka nods. “I’ll see you soon.”
A smile creeps up to Miharu’s lips as she nods before walking away. Haruka watches her until she disappears down the stairs but his gaze lingers for a while. He turns around and closes the door behind him. The stillness of the atmosphere now makes the loneliness seep in faster, somehow numbing him as he leans against his door, staring right ahead at the deserted living room. Miharu’s voice echoes in the silence, the ghost of her presence moving about the rooms just as if to remind him that he has only woken up from a long dream. Yet, the warmth that lingers on his lips is proof that it isn’t.
A few weeks pass by. Everyone has gotten extremely busy. Aside from having lunch at school together, Miharu rarely gets to talk to Makoto anymore. Haruka, on the other hand, has been whisked away in competitions around and outside Tokyo, barely having time to answer her calls or reply to her already infrequent emails. She feels like she’s the only one who has so much time on her hands even when she knows that it’s just her trying to keep her mind off stress, making her days seem less monotonous.
One fine afternoon, right after having a late lunch in her apartment, Miharu decides to take a stroll around the vicinity. She clutches the handle of her umbrella tightly as she wanders the streets, passing by students and workers and even elderly couples. She walks all the way to the path leading to the university where the bookstore she visits looms humbly between a laundromat and a pawnshop and a little further up that same path, the park. Several children are playing there today, she predicts. She heads there after visiting the bookstore and encounters not only elementary children playing Cops and Robbers, but also that fellow she somehow always unexpectedly bumps into.
“It’s you,” Miharu starts as Sousuke looks up at her, “again.”
Sousuke lowers two bags of grocery to the ground to make space for the newcomer on the bench. “Mere coincidence.”
“I wish,” she jokes upon sitting down and closing her umbrella. Her companion gives her a funny look. “We always seem to bump into each other, you know.”
“I know,” Sousuke replies coolly, “but what can we do?”
Defeated, Miharu reclines in her seat. “You’re right. So? Was there a sale on eggs today?”
“I got there just in time,” Sousuke jokes dryly, fingering the shopping list his father’s friend gave him in his jacket’s pocket.
“On an errand again, I see.”
“My old man made me wait on his friend today. I can’t blame him though. The fellow just turned seventy.”
“That’s nice of you, Yamazaki-kun.”
“And you?” he inquires. “You seem to have a lot of time on your hands.”
“I think so, too.” The breeze brushes by and sweeps Miharu’s bangs to the side, which she calmly fixes in place again. “I just needed to get out of the apartment for a while.”
“Right. You live nearby.”
“Mhm.”
Watching the children play, Miharu and Sousuke note that from a total of six robbers, half have already been caught and the three cops continue to scramble in search for the rest. It’s such an exhausting game, Miharu recalls from her childhood, but it’s one of those pastimes that gets her brain pounding and her heart racing and she likes it; she likes anything that makes her feel alive.
“Have you played that game before, Yamazaki-kun?”
“Yeah, but not often.”
“I never liked being the cop.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know. I guess I like the feeling of being looked for.”
Sousuke thinks for a moment. “If you like that feeling, then you must enjoy hiding.”
“Maybe.”
“Or you’re good at it?”
“My old classmates used to say so.” Miharu tugs at the hem of her white-and-gray-striped dress.
“I like being the cop,” Sousuke says almost nonchalantly, eyeing one of the three cops in the distance pause to check a bush and then fall back on his heels when a stray kitten pops out at him and scampers away. “Catching someone feels rewarding.”
“Somehow, being found feels the same.”
Whether they admit it to themselves or not, their choice of role in that game actually says quite a lot about themselves.
The game drags on before dusk. In the end, the cops couldn’t find one of the robbers who persistently freed his comrades and soon won the game. As the children race past Miharu and Sousuke to leave the park, the two of them simply stayed to finish the box of tiny sour pebbles Miharu had brought with her.
“Sour…” Sousuke mumbles, his eyebrows meeting in the middle to form a strange expression on his face.
“Really?” Miharu chuckles. “I’ve become immune to the taste then.”
“Do you eat this all the time?”
“Not really but I do buy some often.”
“That’s weird,” Sousuke comments with disbelief. His words make Miharu laugh all of a sudden and he watches her look away, trying to contain her amusement. Her laugh is as strange as her taste in sweets as it rings pleasantly in his ears and eases a smug smirk on his face, amused as well.
The smile that shines under the sunset then blinds Sousuke and freezes his heart for a moment.
“Sorry about that, Yamazaki-kun. People tell me so all the time but it still amuses me.” Miharu pauses to look at Sousuke, whose attention rests on her being. “Yamazaki-kun? Are you okay?”
“Sure…” he replies vaguely as he diverts his eyes away from her. He stands up and takes two of the three bulky grocery bags. “I have to head back now.”
Miharu swipes the last bag as she stands up as well. “I’ll help you.”
Sousuke raises a brow at her. “No, I’m fine-“
“Really, I insist! They look so heavy.”
“I can handle it-“
Not letting Sousuke finish, Miharu simply runs past him with the bag. Hurriedly, Sousuke turns around and sees that a huge distance between them has already stretched.
Damn. She’s fast.
“Can I help you now?” Miharu asks over her shoulder as she brisk walks ways ahead of Sousuke, who is sluggishly following her.
“Fine.”
With that answer, Miharu stops and turns around to wait for her companion. “Great~”
“Switch bags with me. That one’s heavy.”
“No, it isn’t.”
The boy lets out a big sigh and just takes the bag from Miharu and gives the much lighter one to her. The sight of her pouting then reminds him of that time at the park at home, making him smile to himself as they wordlessly walk side-by-side now.
Up the road, they can see the sunset perfectly. Its orange hue somehow looks deeper that day, almost red like roaring fire, or flowing blood. Shadows of the city’s surrounding skyscrapers stretch like marching giants over the asphalt they tread upon, washing over the much smaller buildings like waves of the deep galaxy.
Sousuke turns his head to glance at the girl beside him. She’s staring right into the distance with not a single emotion on her pale face. She’s looking at something he doesn’t see, the faint light of nature coaxing out the rich, charming dark brown of her eyes that is temptation. They’re so clear, ridded of the shadows that the sun has created. She looks ahead as if she’s by herself and the very aura of her loneliness mists around her like a barrier. What is she looking at?
I’m right here.
They finally reach the end of the road and a few steps further will lead Sousuke back to the shop. They set the bags down for a quick rest. Passively, Sousuke glimpses the red marks that line Miharu’s palms as she flails her hands in a tiny motion as if she has just washed them and is now drying them off. By reflex, he rests a hand on her head and gives her a pat, even slightly messing up her hair. He’s not aware of it but his lips have curved into a tiny smile.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
Sensing the genuine gratitude in Sousuke’s words and blushing lightly from embarrassment, Miharu nods. “No problem.”
As they prepare to go on their own ways, Miharu offers Sousuke one last smile before she turns around and follows the path back to her apartment. It’s at that moment, as Sousuke watches Miharu walk under the peeking stars, that he feels her smile seal something within him; something that has appeared during that afternoon at the beach and has stayed and grown up to that moment, but can never be set free. Along with it, is the pain that should never have come into being.
Like Cops and Robbers, Sousuke finally finds the robber who marked him victim but there she goes, further and further away, never to be caught, and never to know that she has been found.
<<< Part 1 | Part 3 >>>
Pairing: Nanase Haruka/OC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Spring has arrived, and they finally move on.
Note: This is the second part of the fifth installment. You may find the previous installments here:
Coastline
Soup-Port
Harbor
Island [ 1 | 2 | 3 ]
When the semester starts, Tokyo becomes ten times as bustling as it normally is; students commuting here and there, office workers flocking to this building, to that, pedestrians walking everywhere and all of them, whether they like it or not, contribute to the noise and traffic.
Sousuke finds himself back in this city he has come to know so well throughout his years in high school. Not that he missed being there or anything, but it pays to know which route one has to take and/or avoid when one’s father deliberately asks you to help him with his business by running errands here and there. He needs to pick up some materials at a friend’s shop located near some university. He forgets the name of the school but at least he knows the name of the shop, which makes his noted information more significant. But Sousuke really isn’t that good with directions and most of the times, he doesn’t want to ask for directions, not until he tries but once he does and it still amounts to nothing, and then he asks for help.
“Where the heck is this?” Sousuke asks himself as he stands outside a bookstore. Checking the map his father drew for him, he doesn’t understand why there’s no bookstore indicated on the paper. He tries toggling the note on different sides but still no luck. He has been wandering around the city for over an hour now and he doesn’t like how he’s getting nowhere in such a long time. Sighing, he finally decides to ask for directions and upon doing so, right as he was about to step into the bookstore, a familiar figure walks out from within and stuns him indefinitely.
“Yamazaki-kun? Is that you?” Miharu asks in surprise.
Sousuke, feeling a tad awkward, bows his head a little. “Yo.”
“I was on my way back to my apartment,” she shares briefly before noticing Sousuke’s inhibited nature. “Is something wrong?”
“No…”
Wanting to take a break from figuring out his father’s map, Sousuke and Miharu wander off to a park nearby. It’s quite different from the one back home since it stretches farther and wider, with more trees and gardens and even a playground, whereupon its swings both Miharu and Sousuke settle down.
“So you’re attending the same university as Makoto,” Sousuke comments after hearing more of Miharu’s tale of why she’s in Tokyo now.
“Uhuh. And you’re helping your father run his business? You’re such a responsible son, Yamazaki-kun,” Miharu comments on Sousuke’s story about why he’s in Tokyo that day. Admittedly, she was waiting for him to pick up her slight sarcasm but he doesn’t.
“I quit swimming.”
A strange silence slips in. Sousuke had predicted this, more or less, because he’s aware that Miharu doesn’t really know much about him and him of her so her lack of reply doesn’t surprise him all too much.
“You weren’t at the nationals, were you?” Miharu shakes her head. “So you didn’t see my injury,” Sousuke clarifies as if with himself. “I damaged my shoulder a few years ago and it’s starting to seem like I won’t be able to swim anymore. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying. I’m just going to take a break for a while.”
“I’m glad.”
Sousuke doesn’t speak.
“If you stopped swimming completely, I think Rin would get really, really upset.”
“You’re right.”
The silence from before stretches longer, the two of them losing themselves in their own thoughts now. They don’t really have anything in particular to talk about; they already asked the usual things they ought to know of each other, as part of the routinely way of catching up. There’s a thought, actually, in Sousuke’s mind since the moment he finally realized that there was something between Haruka and Miharu. At the time, he and Miharu weren’t really on speaking terms so he didn’t think it was okay to ask but since he already went as far as to threaten her (for Rin’s sake, no less) and spending that afternoon with her at the café and even going out of his way to give her advice that day at the park, Sousuke might as well ask now.
“How’s Haru? Is he here, too?”
“He’s training in W College. It’s far from X University so he lives by himself in a different apartment.”
Sousuke looks up at the sky. “Why do you like him?”
Miharu looks up at the sky, too.
“Maybe it’s just how expressionless he is but he doesn’t seem to like you at all.”
Why am I saying this?
The clouds are thick and puffy that day so that the sun playfully hides behind them and grants the people below a cool, breezy day; a safe one, for someone with sensitive skin like Miharu.
“He understands me.” Miharu looks down and smiles at the sand beneath her feet. “That’s not really easy to do, from my point of view.”
Sousuke looks down at the sand beneath his feet, too, but he can’t seem to smile at it, uncomprehending of the gist of such and yet Miharu does so. From her honesty, somehow, he suddenly remembers that race he had with Haruka back when they were in middle school and it certainly doesn’t leave him a pleasant feeling.
After Miharu gives Sousuke his needed directions (the shop is actually quite near the university!), they part ways. Neither of them commented on Sousuke’s question, having mentally decided that Miharu’s answer suffices as both an explanation and a remark. What Sousuke needs to do now is fetch his father’s materials, and figure out why he feels frustrated whenever Miharu’s answer floats across his thoughts.
It’s understandable, really, why Makoto worries about Miharu and how she’s adjusting to university life. She has shared with him, although with a smile, that everything is still so new to her even after a month into the semester. He, on the other hand, has already found new friends and they’ve been getting along just fine throughout the days yet that’s the difficult part of wanting to keep an eye on Miharu - since they belong to different departments, their schedules seem to never coincide except for lunch break, which Makoto allots to her. He tries to the best of his efforts to watch over Miharu not only for Haruka’s sake, but also for his peace of mind. He worries more that Haruka is so far away and exhaustingly busy and because of that, he knows Miharu is probably distancing herself again. Makoto understands why she does that and frankly, nowadays, he does that, too, for Haruka’s sake but if this keeps up, he fears that Miharu might get the same thoughts she did back when they were still in high school; the very same thoughts that she had shared with him when they were at the pool one fine afternoon, during lunch break.
“Do you want to visit Haru this weekend?” Makoto sees Miharu’s eyes glow at the suggestion but the shine soon fades, a reason probably afloat. She hums in thought now (although the aura of defeat is around her) and tries to finish her sushi. “I’m sure Haru will be happy,” he continues with an encouraging smile that makes Miharu smile back.
Saturday afternoon, and Haruka opens his door to find Miharu standing there - awkward and embarrassed.
“I’m sorry for dropping by suddenly,” Miharu says as she follows Haruka into the living room.
“It’s okay,” he replies shortly. Before he goes to the kitchen, he takes a quick glance at Miharu over his shoulder. She’s standing in front of the balcony doors, perhaps admiring the sky. “Have you eaten lunch?”
“I have,” she answers as she turns around. Haruka has already disappeared into the pantry. “Do you need help in the kitchen?”
There’s no answer which prompts Miharu to seat herself on the couch and quietly wait for Haruka to return. She scans the coffee table in front of her and notes that there are dozens of papers upon which regimens for different weeks are written as well as dietary plans and lists of recommended books to read and documentaries to watch. Just looking at them sprawled across the table makes her feel dizzy and faint, but even more amazed and excited for Haruka. He’s doing his best, after all.
Haruka returns with his meal - mackerel, rice and miso soup - and a glass of water and another of strawberry juice which he passes on to Miharu once he settles himself on the table, collecting his papers and putting them aside.
“If you want some, there’s more in the kitchen.”
“Thank you.”
“Did Makoto drop you off?”
Miharu drinks a bit of her strawberry juice then shakes her head. “He gave me directions and instructions to get here. He said he has homework to do today.”
Eating silently, Haruka recalls that Makoto had told him only that Thursday that he finished all of his assignments and was only doing some advance reading. He unconsciously narrows his eyes at his bowl of soup.
Liar.
“I suppose it would be more fun if he was here, huh?”
Haruka looks up at Miharu from across the table and sees the smile he hasn’t seen for so, so, so long. It’s a given why he forgives Makoto at that moment; Haruka has Miharu all to himself that day and he knows that Makoto must have intended to stay behind for this purpose alone.
“Not really…”
“Hmm?”
Haruka stays quiet.
“Hey, Haru? Do you think you could tell me about your days at school? I’d love to hear about them,” Miharu says with a shine in her eyes that makes it difficult for Haruka to refuse. It’s been a whole month!
While Haruka continues with his lunch, he talks about his training and classes in an even-measured pace, much like how one would read bedtime stories to children, only with a little more excitement. Miharu listens quietly for fear that she might disturb his stories and she doesn’t want to do that at all. She closes her eyes from time to time to try and match his words to a picture or scenery and then sees him there, all the while doing his utmost. He pauses in between stories as if to check if she’s still interested - and she always is - before he starts with a new one. It’s only been a month but from everything that has happened to Haruka, Miharu feels like a year has already passed. Although she’s happy that he’s doing extremely well with his training, she can’t help but feel a little lonely. And yet she pushes that aside.
“Miharu,” Haruka calls abruptly. Miharu hums as an answer, leafing through the small stack of papers that he had put aside earlier on. “Stay over.”
Wordlessly at first, Miharu looks up at Haruka. He’s tidying up now. “I-Is it really okay…?”
“Mm…” he mumbles as confirmation before he steadily retreats to the kitchen to wash up.
Alone once again, Miharu simply, almost dazedly, turns toward the balcony to stare at the loitering grey clouds and the vast grey sky. She doesn’t really wait for weather forecasts, wanting them to be a surprise, like Haruka’s request.
The clouds eventually burst. Until after dinner, Haruka and Miharu had spent the hours talking about school whilst playing card games and even a little bit of chess. Haruka mentioned Rin in their conversations about their childhood like how he used to be all smiles and friendly and loud but now he has become moody (to which Miharu reacts with chuckles) and how he can be stubborn at times. He even mentioned the time when they saw Rin off at the airport en route to Australia a few weeks back. It just so happens that he left a day after he and Miharu wandered off to town. Haruka said, nonchalantly, that Rin has always been a crybaby but at the airport that day, he gave them a toothy grin and a warm good-bye. Then there was that conversation about how Miharu has been writing stories since she was five-years-old and how, back in middle school, she qualified to go to a journalism contest up to the regionals even though she was entered by her teacher at the last minute and was totally unprepared, pulling her out of cheering practice for their sports festival. They talked a lot that day and both of them found it hard to believe that they did. For reasons beyond them, they couldn’t do this back when they were in high school.
“Here.” Haruka hands Miharu a shirt and a pair of jogging pants. He admits to himself that when he asked her to stay over earlier, he had just blurted out the first thing that came to mind upon seeing her smile. After dinner a few moments ago, he even went to the convenience store to buy extra necessities for a guest, making Miharu stay and watch over the room. It was already late, that’s why.
“Look! Look!”
Toward the call, Haruka turns and sees Miharu dressed up in the shirt and jogging pants he gave her (which are his) and observes that they’re really loose on her. She doesn’t seem upset though as she turns ‘round and ‘round, showing off the garments’ looseness. He remembers that she is actually fond of big and loose clothes; most of her shirts are.
“It’s still raining,” Miharu points out in a whisper as they listen to the loud downpour from the couch.
“Yeah…”
The room has descended into darkness, however not completely for the lamp by the couch, on Haruka’s side, flickers calmly, offering just a tiny yet significant spark. The sound of rain is calming and the warmth from both of their bodies that touch and mingle against each other as they sit with their arms pressing against each other’s lightly under the blanket soothes the evening even more.
Miharu has leaned back into the couch, her body sinking in her space, her eyes closed. Beside her, Haruka has his eyes closed, too, and he listens to the staccatos of a heart; either his or hers, he isn’t sure but the melody is there. He reopens his eyes upon feeling Miharu shiver beside him. He doesn’t say anything as he adjusts himself so that she can press closer to him for more warmth. When she does, Miharu is facing him and like a magnet catching its desired force, Haruka’s eyes stare deeply into hers. They have gazed at each other like this before and yet, and yet, this is the first time that their lips are merely inches away and for a split second, they feel their breaths ghost over and then a kiss - chaste, light, simple and so very innocent in every way - their first. When they pull away and open their eyes to see each other once more, in their orbs are reflections of themselves with their cheeks rosy. Both of them look away at the same time, embarrassed.
“I…” Haruka mumbles without turning back to Miharu. The warmth of her lips is still on his. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Sleep in the bedroom.”
As embarrassed as Haruka is, Miharu quietly stands up and walks past the couch. She turns around and briefly shares gazes with Haruka before the boy looks down in subtle panic. He’s so awkward that her already-beating hard heart races even faster. “G-Good night.”
“Good night.”
Once the door to the bedroom closes with a click, Haruka lies back on the couch, his legs dangling off the armrest. The ceiling is stained with the shadow of the outline of the lamp’s shade and the light looks like it’s dancing, as if it’s a candle of sorts. The rain seems never-ending as it continues to fall but it’s not cold anymore; no, not really. Haruka’s whole body is burning.
Soft…
And then the night goes on gently, pleasantly.
The following morning, Haruka wakes up at 6 to jog. He eases into the bedroom as carefully as he can to get his change of clothes as well as to check if Miharu is still fast asleep. Under the white comforter, Miharu is on her side, hugging a pillow and snoring slightly. Haruka takes his training wear from the closet before he walks toward the bed to check if the girl has drooled onto his pillow. She hasn’t, but he observes her more: her long eyelashes lining prettily against her pale skin, her hair a complete mess and her arms coiled loosely around his second pillow have somehow become thinner. Remembering that this is the first time he has ever seen her like this, Haruka can’t help but wonder if someone else has, feeling a tad jealous and selfish at the same time.
The more he looks at her sleeping figure, the more he realizes that Miharu has lost weight, becoming even more fragile than she already is. He should have noticed earlier that she hasn’t been eating because the night before, over dinner, she had only eaten half a cup of rice and so very few bits of fish and sips of soup.
Kneeling down beside the bed, Haruka pokes Miharu’s cheek lightly. “Hey.”
“Hnn…”
“I’m going out for a jog.”
Alarmed, Miharu opens her eyes and tries to sit up. Still obviously drowsy, she contains her yawn and attempts to pull the covers aside so she can stand but Haruka places a hand on her head to stop her. “You don’t have to get up.”
“I need to keep watch-“
Haruka begins to pat her head gently. “Go back to sleep.”
“But…” Miharu looks down. “Will you come back soon…?”
Perhaps Miharu thinks she’s in a dream of sorts because from the way she’s acting, she seems to be more honest and even more child-like. Haruka doesn’t know how to react to this properly but he sighs and gives her a few more pats.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Miharu holds out her pinky toward Haruka, who coils his around hers awkwardly. Even her fingers have become so thin and weak, weak enough to tremble with just a touch. After she lets go, she lies back down and pulls the covers up to her chin and within a few blinks, she has gone back to sleep. Haruka turns on his heel and walks toward the door, looking back once then he disappears into the hall.
Probably an hour passed when Haruka finally gets home. He goes into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Taking off his shirt and walking hurriedly to the bathroom to take his usual dip in the tub, he unexpectedly finds Miharu bent over the tub that’s now filled with water, turning the faucet off. She’s possibly still drowsy as she hasn’t noticed Haruka’s presence in the room not until she turns around and sees him there, upper half bare. Regardless of how many times Miharu has already seen Haruka like this, her body reacts the same as ever, her cheeks becoming red. She smiles shyly at the boy.
“I thought I’d prepare the bath for when you get back,” she explains simply as she totters toward the door, making sure not to bump Haruka.
“T-Thank you…” Behind him, Miharu chuckles weakly.
“You’re welcome.”
Some time passes. Haruka gets out of the bath and changes into new clothes, proceeding to the living room where Miharu has collapsed on the couch, sloppily sprawled over with her face buried on the blanket Haruka had used the night before.
“Are you still sleeping?”
There’s no response. Haruka ignores that and settles himself by the coffee table, reading his papers as he reclines against the sofa. Beside him, he sees Miharu’s arm stretched toward the floor, her hand barely touching the wood. He stares at that hand and glimpses the tiny mole that looks like a chocolate smudge. Curious, he pokes the middle of her palm to see if she’d react, but she doesn’t.
In the tranquil moment, Haruka’s mind finally registers that the two of them spent the night together - alone - and that this is their first morning. When did Haruka start becoming conscious of these things? Paying mind to these little moments? Feeling himself become nervous just thinking about them, his stomach flipping? Right then, just as he feels the couch sink from Miharu’s adjusting, his body heats up, suddenly aware of her body that close to him. It doesn’t make sense to Haruka, really, so he busies his mind by memorizing his routines.
“Miharu,” Haruka calls out behind him an hour later. “Miharu, wake up. It’s almost noon.”
Finally awake, Miharu stretches her arms then rolls over on her back, staring at the ceiling dazedly before she sits up and rubs the sleep off her eyes. Haruka has stood up to get her a glass of water and when he returns, he stares at her. In his loose clothes, she’s hugging her legs, looking distantly at the balcony doors and perhaps the world beyond it. Sunlight is slowly seeping into the room and he catches her eyes follow the minute movement.
“Thank you,” Miharu says now as Haruka passes the glass to her. She drinks half of the water then sighs. “I’m sorry for oversleeping.”
“Didn’t you sleep well last night?”
Discreetly, Miharu looks away and forces out a shaky chuckle. “M-Maybe…”
The second she looks back, Haruka sees the remnants of blush, realizing.
Ah… Was she thinking about that?
Unknowingly, Haruka blushes as well, excusing himself to get another glass of water. Little does he know that Miharu saw the honesty painting his face and, feeling that they’re on the same boat, she smiles to herself, relieved.
Right around lunchtime, when the sun is high and drying the leftover raindrops from last night completely, Miharu takes her leave after eating and helping Haruka wash up.
“Thank you for letting me stay over,” she says as she walks out, Haruka holding the door open for her.
“I asked you to…” Haruka mumbles to himself, reluctantly correcting the girl but she doesn’t hear.
“Take care, Haru.”
Haruka nods. “I’ll see you soon.”
A smile creeps up to Miharu’s lips as she nods before walking away. Haruka watches her until she disappears down the stairs but his gaze lingers for a while. He turns around and closes the door behind him. The stillness of the atmosphere now makes the loneliness seep in faster, somehow numbing him as he leans against his door, staring right ahead at the deserted living room. Miharu’s voice echoes in the silence, the ghost of her presence moving about the rooms just as if to remind him that he has only woken up from a long dream. Yet, the warmth that lingers on his lips is proof that it isn’t.
A few weeks pass by. Everyone has gotten extremely busy. Aside from having lunch at school together, Miharu rarely gets to talk to Makoto anymore. Haruka, on the other hand, has been whisked away in competitions around and outside Tokyo, barely having time to answer her calls or reply to her already infrequent emails. She feels like she’s the only one who has so much time on her hands even when she knows that it’s just her trying to keep her mind off stress, making her days seem less monotonous.
One fine afternoon, right after having a late lunch in her apartment, Miharu decides to take a stroll around the vicinity. She clutches the handle of her umbrella tightly as she wanders the streets, passing by students and workers and even elderly couples. She walks all the way to the path leading to the university where the bookstore she visits looms humbly between a laundromat and a pawnshop and a little further up that same path, the park. Several children are playing there today, she predicts. She heads there after visiting the bookstore and encounters not only elementary children playing Cops and Robbers, but also that fellow she somehow always unexpectedly bumps into.
“It’s you,” Miharu starts as Sousuke looks up at her, “again.”
Sousuke lowers two bags of grocery to the ground to make space for the newcomer on the bench. “Mere coincidence.”
“I wish,” she jokes upon sitting down and closing her umbrella. Her companion gives her a funny look. “We always seem to bump into each other, you know.”
“I know,” Sousuke replies coolly, “but what can we do?”
Defeated, Miharu reclines in her seat. “You’re right. So? Was there a sale on eggs today?”
“I got there just in time,” Sousuke jokes dryly, fingering the shopping list his father’s friend gave him in his jacket’s pocket.
“On an errand again, I see.”
“My old man made me wait on his friend today. I can’t blame him though. The fellow just turned seventy.”
“That’s nice of you, Yamazaki-kun.”
“And you?” he inquires. “You seem to have a lot of time on your hands.”
“I think so, too.” The breeze brushes by and sweeps Miharu’s bangs to the side, which she calmly fixes in place again. “I just needed to get out of the apartment for a while.”
“Right. You live nearby.”
“Mhm.”
Watching the children play, Miharu and Sousuke note that from a total of six robbers, half have already been caught and the three cops continue to scramble in search for the rest. It’s such an exhausting game, Miharu recalls from her childhood, but it’s one of those pastimes that gets her brain pounding and her heart racing and she likes it; she likes anything that makes her feel alive.
“Have you played that game before, Yamazaki-kun?”
“Yeah, but not often.”
“I never liked being the cop.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t know. I guess I like the feeling of being looked for.”
Sousuke thinks for a moment. “If you like that feeling, then you must enjoy hiding.”
“Maybe.”
“Or you’re good at it?”
“My old classmates used to say so.” Miharu tugs at the hem of her white-and-gray-striped dress.
“I like being the cop,” Sousuke says almost nonchalantly, eyeing one of the three cops in the distance pause to check a bush and then fall back on his heels when a stray kitten pops out at him and scampers away. “Catching someone feels rewarding.”
“Somehow, being found feels the same.”
Whether they admit it to themselves or not, their choice of role in that game actually says quite a lot about themselves.
The game drags on before dusk. In the end, the cops couldn’t find one of the robbers who persistently freed his comrades and soon won the game. As the children race past Miharu and Sousuke to leave the park, the two of them simply stayed to finish the box of tiny sour pebbles Miharu had brought with her.
“Sour…” Sousuke mumbles, his eyebrows meeting in the middle to form a strange expression on his face.
“Really?” Miharu chuckles. “I’ve become immune to the taste then.”
“Do you eat this all the time?”
“Not really but I do buy some often.”
“That’s weird,” Sousuke comments with disbelief. His words make Miharu laugh all of a sudden and he watches her look away, trying to contain her amusement. Her laugh is as strange as her taste in sweets as it rings pleasantly in his ears and eases a smug smirk on his face, amused as well.
The smile that shines under the sunset then blinds Sousuke and freezes his heart for a moment.
“Sorry about that, Yamazaki-kun. People tell me so all the time but it still amuses me.” Miharu pauses to look at Sousuke, whose attention rests on her being. “Yamazaki-kun? Are you okay?”
“Sure…” he replies vaguely as he diverts his eyes away from her. He stands up and takes two of the three bulky grocery bags. “I have to head back now.”
Miharu swipes the last bag as she stands up as well. “I’ll help you.”
Sousuke raises a brow at her. “No, I’m fine-“
“Really, I insist! They look so heavy.”
“I can handle it-“
Not letting Sousuke finish, Miharu simply runs past him with the bag. Hurriedly, Sousuke turns around and sees that a huge distance between them has already stretched.
Damn. She’s fast.
“Can I help you now?” Miharu asks over her shoulder as she brisk walks ways ahead of Sousuke, who is sluggishly following her.
“Fine.”
With that answer, Miharu stops and turns around to wait for her companion. “Great~”
“Switch bags with me. That one’s heavy.”
“No, it isn’t.”
The boy lets out a big sigh and just takes the bag from Miharu and gives the much lighter one to her. The sight of her pouting then reminds him of that time at the park at home, making him smile to himself as they wordlessly walk side-by-side now.
Up the road, they can see the sunset perfectly. Its orange hue somehow looks deeper that day, almost red like roaring fire, or flowing blood. Shadows of the city’s surrounding skyscrapers stretch like marching giants over the asphalt they tread upon, washing over the much smaller buildings like waves of the deep galaxy.
Sousuke turns his head to glance at the girl beside him. She’s staring right into the distance with not a single emotion on her pale face. She’s looking at something he doesn’t see, the faint light of nature coaxing out the rich, charming dark brown of her eyes that is temptation. They’re so clear, ridded of the shadows that the sun has created. She looks ahead as if she’s by herself and the very aura of her loneliness mists around her like a barrier. What is she looking at?
I’m right here.
They finally reach the end of the road and a few steps further will lead Sousuke back to the shop. They set the bags down for a quick rest. Passively, Sousuke glimpses the red marks that line Miharu’s palms as she flails her hands in a tiny motion as if she has just washed them and is now drying them off. By reflex, he rests a hand on her head and gives her a pat, even slightly messing up her hair. He’s not aware of it but his lips have curved into a tiny smile.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
Sensing the genuine gratitude in Sousuke’s words and blushing lightly from embarrassment, Miharu nods. “No problem.”
As they prepare to go on their own ways, Miharu offers Sousuke one last smile before she turns around and follows the path back to her apartment. It’s at that moment, as Sousuke watches Miharu walk under the peeking stars, that he feels her smile seal something within him; something that has appeared during that afternoon at the beach and has stayed and grown up to that moment, but can never be set free. Along with it, is the pain that should never have come into being.
Like Cops and Robbers, Sousuke finally finds the robber who marked him victim but there she goes, further and further away, never to be caught, and never to know that she has been found.
<<< Part 1 | Part 3 >>>