1/1 - Do Unto Others - SS/HP - NC-17
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Serious warnings for this One-Shot. Go read the warnings.
Hmm… Anyway, anyone who liked Too Much will love this one. Anyone who didn’t… press the ‘back’ button! Flames do not shame me. I have no shame. I do, however, have several tickets to see Miley Cyrus (in Hell). Anyone want one? You can pay me in reviews! :P
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“Do Unto Others”
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, et all are property of JK Rowling, and Bloomsbury, and Warner Bros and all those other nifty people that make it so we can read and watch the Potterverse whenever we feel like it. I own nothing and I make no money from this, just so you know.
Summary: [SS/HP] In a world where only Lily died on the night Voldemort attacked, Severus is left as Harry’s very unwilling babysitter. As much as Severus loved Lily, he hates James even more. This is the first chance he’s ever had to extract his own brand of revenge onto the man who made his life hell. James wouldn’t find out. But revenge was still sweet, even if Severus was the only one who knew it had happened. AU.
Warnings: Slash. Under-age. CHAN! SS/HP. Dub-con/Non-con. JP/SS. AU. Language. Sexual situations.
Rating: NC-17. This is not for kids.
A/N: Is it rape, if Harry wasn’t aware of it?
XXX
Words: 5,871
Chapter 1
Do Unto Others
Severus couldn’t keep the scowl off of his face. His eyes were narrowed, and his nostrils flared as he tried to draw in deep, slow, calming breaths. Headmaster Dumbledore stood in front of him, smiling warmly even though he knew Severus was going to refuse.
“No.”
“Pardon me?” Albus asked. His blue eyes twinkled in amusement, and he folded his hands behind his back and took a small step forward. “Now, my boy. Think about this. It’s a magnificent opportunity to get to know Lily’s son. She would have wanted you to be involved in his life, you know. It’ll only be for one night. This Order meeting is important.”
“Which is why I should be there.” Severus tried to remain calm, to make the older Wizard see reason. He was not going to watch Potter’s brat.
“You would be, if not for the spy we have within the Order. Lord Voldemort has risen to power much faster than we anticipated. When the Killing Curse rebounded off of young Harry onto the Dark Lord, I had hoped he would have been incapacitated for a good number of years. Unfortunately, he seems to have retained many loyal followers, despite his abysmal treatment of them.” Albus gave Severus another winning smile. “We wouldn’t want you to become endangered if Lord Voldemort was to learn that you were not as loyal as you profess. That is why, my boy, you mustn’t come to the meeting.”
“You’re right,” Severus said lowly. Albus’ eyes widened. “I should go to my quarters at Hogwarts and work on my lesson plan for next term.”
Dumbledore narrowed his eyes, with a soft, “ah!” He should have known that Severus would not give in so easily.
It didn’t take too much longer, though, before Snape was reluctantly agreeing to act as a babysitter. It was not something he wished to do under normal circumstances. He could hardly bring himself to spend time with his own godson. He most certainly did not want to be around the offspring of Lily and James Potter. He cringed at the thought. The woman he loved and that - that - that bastard, poor excuse of a human being, procreating. His lips curled downwards. But he gave the Headmaster a nod, and promised to be at Godric’s Hollow the following night.
XXX
“James,” Severus head a voice saying as he tumbled out of the fireplace, “I know you don’t like him. I hate him too. But Snape is the only one available to mind Harry. He’ll keep Harry safe, and that is what’s important.” Severus thought it sounded like Black, but he shrugged the thought off. Sirius Black would never defend him; the other man would chose to die first.
Another voice joined in, this one was Potter’s. “I still hate him.”
“I know, Prongs. I know. But Lily loved him, you know. There must be something decent about him.” Remus Lupin: always the voice of reason.
Snape clenched his fists by his sides, and turned his face away from the direction the voices were coming from. Potter was shouting now, about how Lily didn’t know what a ‘slimy, filthy-’ Snape was. The noise was suddenly muffled, and Severus snorted as he imagined someone covering Potter’s mouth with his or her hand.
“Not in front of Harry.” Lupin scolded. There was a tense silence, and suddenly, “Harry? Where’s Harry? Harry!” The scuffling, fumbling noises that were made in the living room brought a slow smirk to Severus’ face.
He looked away from the wall he had been staring at, and gasped. The child in question was standing in front of him, staring up at him with wide familiar eyes. Lily’s eyes. Potter was notoriously protective of his son. The boy hardly left Godric’s Hollow, and the public hadn’t seen pictures of him since the year the Dark Lord was first vanquished. This was the first time Severus had ever met Harry James Potter. Out of spite, he had refused to attend the naming ceremony. Now he wished he had. If he had, he would have had some idea of what to expect. But he didn’t. He was stunned speechless at the sight of Lily’s son. Wide green eyes, and a small, round nose, but every other feature was the father’s. Short of breath, Severus managed to tear his eyes away from the child in front of him. When he wasn’t looking straight at the boy, he found it much easier to remember that he hated the child. Potter’s child.
“Harry!” A voice cried, and suddenly James was in front of him, scooping the seven-year-old boy into the air. “You worried me.”
“I didn’t leave the cottage, father.” The boy drawled. Severus flinched, eyes narrowing. He sounded like Draco Malfoy, his godson, and probably Draco’s father at the child’s age, and how Severus had always imagined James Potter had sounded as a brat. When Harry spoke, he had none of Lily’s inherent sweetness. None of her goodness. He was just like James: spoilt and arrogant and uncaring of whom he hurt as long as he got what he wanted. “There was nothing to worry about.”
“You’re my son, I’m allowed to worry.”
“My name is Professor Severus Snape,” the man in question said. He held out his hand warily, expecting to have it ignored. His eyes widened when Harry reached out to shake it, a shy smile, Lily’s smile, on his face. He was completely different to how he had been a moment ago.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Professor Snape. Professor Dumbledore said you were the youngest Potions Master, ever! Is that true? Who did you study under?” The boy babbled excitedly. Snape was surprised to note that as Harry spoke, he relaxed until he was completely boneless and James found it difficult to hold him up. Eventually the man had to set Harry back on his feet. Ignoring the frown on James Potter’s face, Harry strode from the room. “Come on, I’ll show you my Potions kit. It’s only for beginners, but it’s better than what any of the Weasleys have!” He said proudly, turning to give Snape a wide smile.
When talking to Potter, Harry appeared brat-like, angry and resentful, but with Severus (Severus who hated the child of James Potter) the boy acted like any other happy child trying to make friends. It made Snape feel a little guilty for deciding to outright hate the boy. He wouldn’t have followed Harry from the living room, he told himself, except that it had very much pissed of the eldest Potter.
Harry’s potions kit was rudimentary, but Harry seemed to know what everything was used for and needed for very well. The boy would undoubtedly do well in Severus’ class (assuming he didn’t land in Gryffindor, in which case Severus would be obliged to fail him). Severus talked him through two simple Potions, showing Harry how to chop the ingredients and telling him in what order to add them. Harry did as he was told, and he remembered the instructions perfectly. Neither Potion exploded, much to Severus’ disappointment. It seemed Harry had his mother’s skill for Potions. Severus wondered if Harry would be as good at Charms as Lily was as well?
By the time they left the lab, the three Order members were gone. Harry and Severus were alone.
The Wizard found he really didn’t mind Harry’s presence. The boy wasn’t annoying, or aggravating, or infuriating like James was. Severus didn’t feel the overwhelming urge to punch and hex and scream at the boy, not like he had in school whenever James was alone with him. They spoke, mostly about Potions and schoolwork, for a handful of hours. It was beginning to grow late, no doubt passed Harry’s bedtime, before the conversation took a turn Severus didn’t like.
“Professor Dumbledore said you were friends with my mum. What was she like? Father said she was pretty, and I suppose in the pictures she is. Was she pretty in real life too? How long were you friends?”
Severus turned his head fractionally, looking at the boy from the corner of his eyes. The child was leaning forward in the seat, an almost ravenous expression on his face. His eyes were wide, so like Lily’s when she was searching for answers. Her mind was always open and hungry, seeking knowledge of any kind. Her son looked at Severus with the same open, wondering expression that Lily had so often gifted him with when they spoke about old Magic and Pureblood traditions.
“I have known Lily Evan since she was a young girl. We lived quite close by. I did not get along with her elder sister, Petunia, but it matters not since she is only a filthy Muggle.”
Severus paused. He waited for Harry to defend his aunt, defend his mother’s family, but the boy remained silent. Harry stared up at him, his mouth pressed into a thin line and his cheeks were flushed. “She was Muggleborn wasn’t she? My mother?”
“Yes, she was. And a very powerful Witch, regardless.” Harry gave a proud smile at the comment.
“Why do you suppose my father married her anyway? She wasn’t Pureblood. Aren’t Purebloods only meant to marry magical people? There was an article in the Daily Prophet, it said that people like my father were traitors to their kind.”
“Your mother was magical.” Severus pointed out slowly. He wasn’t sure that he liked the direction this conversation was going in. Who would have thought, the Boy-Who-Lived was a blood supremist, and he was only seven!
“Yes,” Harry bit out, “but her parents were Muggles.” The child sneered, and Severus flinched back. He looked shockingly like Tom Riddle for a moment. If not for the colour of Harry’s - Lily’s - eyes, Snape would have mistaken the child for a young Dark Lord Voldemort.
“Your grandparents were good people, and they loved your mother very much.” Severus half couldn’t believe he was defending Muggles. He gave a soft sigh.
Harry fixed him with a sly smirk. “Did you love my mother very much?” His eyes were bright, swirling with some emotion Severus was afraid to name. But he knew what it was anyway. James had looked at him like that once, and it was a memory Severus would sooner forget. “Did she ever let you touch her? I bet you would have liked that. Touching her, I mean. Even is she was a Mudblood.”
“How dare you!” Snape hissed. He hadn’t meant to let his temper get the best of him. He had told himself, prepared himself as Harry opened his mouth, that whatever Harry said Severus wouldn’t let it effect him. He had lost composure. Before he could stop himself, he had struck out. His hand connected with Harry’s cheek and the boy gave a cry as he fell off of his chair. Wide eyes stared up at him, as Harry lay sprawled across the floor.
“I’m going to bed.” The child said. The creature from before was gone. In its place was Lily’s child. He seemed meek and demure, looking up at Severus through lowered eyelids and the fringe of his hair, a bruise already blooming across one cheek, and his teeth worried his bottom lip shyly. Severus felt a twinge of guilt in his chest but pushed it away. The boy had had it coming. The things he had said, about his own mother, about Lily, had been more than enough to deserve a small smack. It wasn’t like Severus had beaten the boy, or anything!
Severus held his tongue. He didn’t apologize, or bid the child goodnight. He merely nodded his head, watching warily till Harry was out of sight. When the sound of a door banging closed upstairs drifted down to him, he finally relaxed. His head fell forward with a sigh. Severus raised his hands to fist into his hair and he pushed back the memories that Harry’s harsh words had stirred to the surface.
Harry was more like his father than he knew.
XXX
Severus wasn’t sure when he had drifted off, but he must have done. In his mind, when he ran across memories that he did not enjoy, he merely pushed them away, or hid them behind his Occlumency shields and pretended that they did not exist.
In his dreams, those memories always manifested as nightmares.
On days when he was particularly exhausted, or upset, or emotional, it was so much harder to keep memories of this kind buried. It wasn’t something he had enjoyed at the time, and it was something that mortified him to remember. It wasn’t something he wanted to revisit. But nonetheless, he found that it was this particular memory that was visiting his dreams that night.
Severus smiled to himself. Thinking of Lily Evans always made him smile. He didn’t particularly care if anyone saw him. He was too happy to care. Lily had told him that he was attractive.
It wasn’t quite as it sounded, however. Severus had been upset over Sirius Black telling him he was ‘an unattractive Slytherin scumbag’ and implying that he would never, never find a woman willing to marry him, even for money. Severus hadn’t thought much about the comment. He wouldn’t have let it bother him, except Lily had walked passed and heard everything. Her eyes had widened, her mouth had tightened, and unexplainably she had reached out to slap Black right across the face.
Lily wasn’t even talking to him, but she had defended him anyway. He had called her a ‘Mudblood’, he had tried to apologize, but it hadn’t done much good. But yet Lily had defended him, physically and verbally. She had told Sirius that he, Severus, was distinctly handsome, and anyone Severus went after should consider herself lucky.
That had been over a day ago, and Snape was still floating on clouds about it. The scene kept playing out in his head, over and over. Lily thought he was attractive. Severus didn’t think he would ever get over it.
He walked leisurely through the corridors of Hogwarts. He stopped at the base of the stairs that wound upwards to the Astronomy Tower. Undoubtedly, a pair of miscreants would be using the Tower to perform illicit actions upon one another, but Severus decided they would just have to clear off. He needed somewhere to think, alone, and bask in the wonderful memory that was still playing out in his head.
When he entered the Tower, he was unsurprised to find a couple occupied in one corner. Snape cleared his throat, and the girl jumped back with a gasp. The prefects badge on Snape’s robes glittered under the moonlight that streamed in through the slight windows, and the sight of the badge brought a frown to Potter’s face.
“Snivellus.” The Gryffindor was wearing the Head Boy’s badge.
The Witch fled the room, not bothering to say goodbye to James. Though, he didn’t look like he minded one way or the other.
“Are you really so desperate, Potter, that you’d fornicate with the first woman to cross your path?” He sneered. He wasn’t that bothered about Potter’s promiscuity, so long as it wasn’t Lily in the Astronomy Tower with him.
“As opposed to you, who will never lose that cherished virginity of yours?” James smirked. His brown eyes landed on Snape’s tightly clenched fists, and the smirk widened. “Oh but I bet you want to, don’t you? Give it up to someone. Lily probably. Am I right?” Snape’s mouth tightened in anger but he stayed silent. “Do you honestly believe she would ever want you? She could do so much better than a filthy, greasy, slimy Slytherin like you.”
“Oh, better?” Severus asked, his eyes narrowed. “Like you, a Gryffindor whore?”
The comment bounced off of James without making a dent. “Better a whore than a virgin. Like you.”1 James gave a slow smirk. “I hear Lily thinks you’re handsome. How much of her homework did you have to do before she agreed to say that?” He laughed, lowly, but it echoed around the Tower and seemed impossibly loud in Severus’ mind.
With a scream, he launched himself at Potter, tackling the other boy to the floor. Snape’s hands were around James’ throat, and he squeezed, uncaring of the trouble he could get into. All he cared about was the way James eyes had gone wide and watery, the way the boy beneath him was struggling to breath, bucking and writhing and trying to get free. All of a sudden, James went limp. His eyes were still open, and his eyelids fluttered, so Severus knew he wasn’t dead, but all the same he drew his hands back.
Potter’s hips lifted the moment his throat was freed. James was hard, and he didn’t seem at all embarrassed by the fact. He pressed his erection up into Snape’s groin and gave an exaggerated moan. “Oh Sevvie!” He said, his voice high and breathy, imitating a woman’s. “Oh, yeah Sev, like that. Oh, I love you Severus, so much more than James! Oh, oh! Oh yeah!” Each ‘oh’ was punctuated with an upward thrust of James Potter’s hips. After a short stunned silence, Severus wrenched himself away with a horrified cry.
“Did you enjoy that, Snivellus?” James asked, his voice reverting back to its usual arrogant and taunting timbre. “That’s the closest you’ll ever get to having sex with Lily.” His eyes lingered on Severus’ mortified face, before they slid lower, and widened. “Oh, you did enjoy that. You sick fucker, you!” James gave a chuckle, still eyeing the bulge in the front of Severus’ pants.
Snape had never done anything like that before, except with his own hand, but there was a difference between touching yourself and having someone else in the room, touching you. Even if you hated that person, it could be very arousing. And it had been in this case, because while James was pretending to be Lily, Severus had been imagining what it would be like if it had been Lily beneath it. And his body had reacted appropriately to that line of thought.
James eyes were bright with an emotion Snape couldn’t put a name to. They practically glowed in the darkness, dazzling beacons of malicious intent and they were honing in on Severus.
Before Severus could register what was happening, he was being pinned to the ground. James was on top of him, straddling his thighs, and a binding charm had his arms and legs fixed firmly to the floor. His trousers were unbuckled and unzipped, and Snape tried to struggle, desperately needing to be free, but James’ spell was too strong. And then the trousers were being pushed down his hips, bunching at his knees beneath James’ arse.
‘NO’, he thought, ‘no, no, no’. This couldn’t be happening. He refused to allow himself to be raped by James Potter. Why would Potter even want to touch him anyway, except to humiliate him and - oh, he realized. Potter was going to humiliate him. Severus was terrified to admit it was working already. Even bound by the spell, his legs were trembling with shame and fear, as Potter looked him over. No one had ever seen him like this, so exposed and vulnerable.
James let out a low chuckle, and Snape felt his cheeks flush with shame. “Well, look at Snivellus. All excited about losing his virginity. At last.” His hand came out, his fingertips brushing against the tip of Snape’s cock, and the teenager let out a low moan at the contact. “Oh Sevvie,” James panted, changing his voice again, “you know just how to touch me. Oh, right there! Yes!” He shifted forward as he spoke, thrusting lightly so that he was brushing against Severus’ erection. The dark haired Wizard gave a startled cry at the unexpected friction. James started laughing again, deep and amused and his eyes glinted as they fixed on Severus’ watery eyes.
“Don’t you dare, Potter!” Snape hissed, fighting back his tears.
“Snivellus don’t be silly. I’m not going to fuck you. The very thought disgusts me. Your virtue is safe from me, and everyone else.” James moved again, straddling Severus’ chest this time. He opened his fly, and pulled his cock out of his pants. His eyes fluttered shut as he wrapped a hand around himself and stroked until he was completely hard. “Oh, Lily, yes, Lily!” James groaned, opening one eye long enough to wink cheekily at Snape. He fisted himself hurriedly, moaning Lily’s name loudly. His free hand was clenching Snape’s jaw, stopping the boy from talking or attempting to bite James’ cock, which hovered precariously close to the Slytherin’s mouth.
“Open wide, Snivellus.” Snape gave a sneer and turned his face away, but James’ grip yanked him back into position. “Anyone else would be honoured to swallow for me. I don’t think Lily would be pleased if you refused to go down on her, you know, this is essentially the same thing. Now, open your mouth, Snape.” James never actually penetrated any part of Severus’ body, so it wasn’t actually rape2 but when he came he managed to get most of it inside of Severus’ mouth. The rest of his ejaculate splashed onto Snape’s face and neck, and James zipped up his pants with a chuckled.
Snape turned his head to the side and spat, a disgusted, horrified - broken - look on his face. “I hate you.” He snarled, tears staining his cheeks.
James leant down, brushed a blob of cum off of Snape’s jaw and licked on his own finger. “I love you too, Lily.”
Potter had left Snape there, like that, pants open and face covered with semen. Lily Evans had been the one to find him the following morning. At the sight of her, he grew hard against his will, and it was another very humiliating experience to add to his list of humiliating experiences experienced at James Potter’s hands. She turned away from him with wide eyes and red cheeks, and when she looked back at him, Severus couldn’t help but feel that she was looking at him in a whole new, bad, light.
The girl he had found Potter with the night before was telling everyone who would listen that Snape had begged to suck Potter off, but James had rejected him. Severus didn’t hear the rumours until lunchtime. It was clear Lily believed them, if the considering glances she kept shooting him were any indication, but she didn’t appear to question why he was bound and appeared to obviously have carried out fellatio in some form or manner. Her attention was focused too much on Potter.
Another rumour he hadn’t learnt of until lunchtime. Lily and James were an item.
Lily would never be his.
He woke with a start, almost falling off of the sofa with the movement. A blanket had been placed over him, and the only person who could have put it there was Harry. He was the only other person in the cottage. Snape felt a momentary wave of nausea. Was Potter watching him sleep? Did Potter reach out to touch him when he was defenceless and vulnerable? He shook the thought from his head. Harry was a child. He wasn’t even old enough to ejaculate at any rate.
Severus stood, folding the blanket slowly and placing it down on the chair. He wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep now.
Instead, he decided to go check on Harry. If the boy were awake, it would only be polite to thank him for the blanket. Potter’s room was smaller than Severus expected. The bedrooms were the only rooms Harry hadn’t shown him around earlier, and Harry’s took him by surprise. The sheer number of books made Severus smile. It reminded him of Lily’s bedroom at her Muggle home. Severus entered the room quietly. The lump in the middle of the bed was certainly Harry, but the Potions Master was unsure if the boy was asleep.
No noise left Harry as Severus leant over him. Deep breathes sounded through the room. The boy was sleeping, Severus was certain of it. The elder man pulled back the blankets. Harry was lying in the very middle of the bed, hidden under the sheets, but as he was exposed to Severus’ view the elder Wizard felt his breath catch. Without his eyes open, there was almost nothing to remind Severus that this boy was Lily’s. It was like starring at a younger version of James Potter. Even the hair stuck out like Potters did, albeit Harry’s was a natural style. His hand reached out, lightly stroking one cheek, just beneath Harry’s eyes, almost willing them to flutter open.
Instead, Harry tilted his head back and let out a low moan.
He sounded like James in the dream, just before he came. Snape tore his hand away from Harry. They clenched by his sides. Anger seared through him, unaltered by any other emotion he held within himself. He was just so suddenly, inordinately angry that he wanted to reach out and strangle the boy. Just like he had done to James.
Without conscious thought, his hands had locked around Harry’s throat, but the boy didn’t fight him. Submissively, in his sleep, Harry offered more of his throat up. His hands squeezed until Harry let out a soft gasp. His eyes lids flickered, the eyes beneath them rolled but then they closed again and Harry settled back into sleep. Severus let go, but he didn’t move back. He was enraptured with watching the boy, the son of his childhood tormentor. This boy’s father made Severus’ life hell, and there was nothing Severus could do to repay the man for that. Nothing.
He hadn’t noticed his own reaction to his treatment of Harry until the boy shifted in his sleep and a hand came out, brushing against his groin accidentally. Severus gave a startled gasp at the feeling of being brushed against. His cock throbbed and the movement drew his attention to the bulge in his pants. He hadn’t even realized that choking Harry had excited him.
Severus swallowed. Indecision warred within him, but the anger that still burnt won out. He pulled his robes off, flinging them out of the way. They landed on top of a small pile of stuffed animals in the corner of the room. Severus’ fly was unzipped and his trousers pushed down, exposing his erection. Harry was a child. A child of someone he hated. When the boy had his eyes closed it was so easy for Severus to forget that this child was also the child of someone he had loved very much. Severus knew he shouldn’t do this. But what Harry didn’t know, wouldn’t, couldn’t hurt him.
Severus’ mother had always told him to do unto others only things he had wished they would do unto him. He gritted his teeth as he thought back on his dreams. Potter had been asking for his, practically begging Severus to retaliate, going so far as to offer his son up on a platter. No doubt James didn’t see it that way, but Severus did. There was no way he was ever going to be able to repay James for the actions that man had taken against him throughout Hogwarts. There was nothing he could do. Except hurt Harry. He didn’t actually need to hurt Harry. Harry never needed to know what was happening. James didn’t even need to know.
Severus would know.
And that was the important thing.
As he thought, his hand had begun to lightly stroke his length. His fingers squeezed around the base of his cock, and stroked smoothly along the length before offering feather light touched to the tip of his cock. The head was purpling and leaking, and Severus watched his hand moving on himself with thinly pressed lips.
He moved closer to the bed, stopping when his thighs were pressing against the mattress. When Harry had moved in his sleep, he had turned from his back onto his side, and now he was lying facing Snape. His mouth was open slightly, breathing through there instead of his nose. Severus reached out with his free hand, and prodded at the boy’s jaw, pushing at it until Harry opened his mouth wider. Severus leant forward, bending down over the child until Harry’s breath brushed over his cock with every exhalation.
“Lily,” Severus whispered, fisting himself faster. Harry mumbled something in his sleep, his lips brushing the tip of Severus’ cock with the movement and the Potions Master gave a guttural cry at the feeling. He thrust his hips forward, his grip becoming harsher, his pace faster as his orgasm neared. He thrust forward again, just as Harry mumbled something else, and Severus gave a hoarse cry as the head of his cock slipped into the warm, wet mouth before him.
Against his better judgement, a hand tangled in the back of Harry’s hair. Severus thrust forward again, purposely driving himself into Harry’s mouth. The boy made a choking sound, and Severus stilled, tense and angry with himself for going as far as to penetrate the boy. James had never done that. Harry didn’t deserve that.
The thought was driven from his mind when Harry shifted again, swallowing around Severus’ cock, and the Wizard gave a groan and rocked his hips forward again. Harry stayed asleep as Severus fucked his face, moaning, “Lily, yes, Lily”, to himself over and over. He half felt disgusted with himself, but the larger part of him was more concerned with the pleasure he was experiencing, the feel and heat of Harry’s mouth against him and around him, the texture of Harry’s hair in his fist, the trembling of his thighs as his orgasm soared towards him.
He pulled back as he came. A cry left him, loud and startled, and he ejaculated into Harry’s mouth. He pulled away from the boy completely when his trembling died down, some of his semen sliding out of Harry’s mouth along with his cock, and dribbling down the child’s chin. Harry swallowed reflectively in his sleep, consuming most of the evidence of Severus’ actions, and he turned onto his other side, curling into a ball as he continued to sleep.
Severus took a hurried step back, then another one, and another. Horror was quickly dawning on him. What had he done? That was a child, an innocent, young child, whom the woman he loved had died to protect. He was disgusted with himself, but that wasn’t a new experience. He was angry with himself as well, also not new. But he was also angry with Harry. Why the hell didn’t the boy wake up? If he had woken up - Severus had made more than enough noise since he had entered the room - than Severus would never have done what he had. The sight of Lily’s eyes in that face would have forced all malicious thoughts from his mind.
As he backed towards the door he noticed an empty potions vial on the bookcase. He went to it and picked it up. A gasp left him as he read the label. A sleeping potion? The child took sleeping potions? Severus vaguely remembered Albus mentioning something about Harry having trouble with nightmares. He swallowed heavily. The child had been drugged.
The entire time, Severus had been thinking about Harry waking up. Knowing that if Harry woke up, Severus would stop. He had assumed that Harry could wake up, but he wouldn’t, not until the potion wore off.
Severus squeezed his eyes shut as he left the bedroom, closing the door after himself. He had assaulted, raped, a drugged child. His fingers clenched at his sides in shame and anger and guilt. It didn’t matter that Harry would never know. Severus would always remember. And the worst part was that he was only feeling guilty because he didn’t regret it. Not one bit. He had finally gotten his revenge on James Potter.
It was still revenge, even if James didn’t know about it. It had still happened.
Severus flooed away from Godric’s Hollow, uncaring that Harry would be left alone until the morning. The child was probably safer if he never saw Snape again. He tucked into a bottle of Firewhiskey when he was safely enclosed in his quarters at Hogwarts. When he slept that night, he dreamt of his memories again, and woke up panting and sweating, his heart beating frantically and his legs trembling as he came in his pants.
XXX
When Harry woke the next morning it was to a strange, unpleasant taste in his mouth. It was cloying and dried, and it coated his tongue like a fine film of something, but he didn’t know what. His chin felt strange, like there was something hanging onto it that shouldn’t be: like when you walked through a spiders web without seeing it, and took half the web with you on your face. He reached up to rub his chin and cringed as something flaked away. There was something sticky on his pillow as well, and Harry stared down at the white stain dispassionately.
Something wasn’t right here.
He narrowed his eyes in thought. He defiantly hadn’t brought a drink to bed with him, so he certainly hadn’t spilt it on the pillow. The aftertaste in his mouth was unfamiliar, but he hadn’t consumed anything that he wouldn’t ordinarily have last night. He frowned.
He supposed this must be one of those strange things that happen to boys when they grew up. Uncle Sirius had tried to explain about ‘bees’ and ‘birds’ and ‘sticky things’ to him after his seventh birthday, but the man had been so flustered that Harry hadn’t actually understood a word said.
He rubbed at his chin again, eyes narrowing in disgust. Whatever it was flaked again. Harry gave a groan, cringing at the thought of his father finding him like this. His father was even stranger about ‘growing up’ than Sirius was. Harry slid from the bed, strangely concerned to find that his penis wasn’t stick, like he remembered Sirius saying it was supposed to be. As he stopped in front of the vanity mirror, perched on top of his desk, Harry caught the sight of an unfamiliar garment draped over his toys from when he was a baby. Anything that could be saved after the fire that destroyed Godric’s Hollow when he was a baby was in that pile. And on top of them was Severus Snape’s robe.
Harry narrowed his eyes in thought, but he couldn’t think of any reason why those robes would be there. A part of him, a part Harry didn’t even realize existed, grew angry, drawing conclusions that the child was incapable of. His hands clenched, and his eyes bled into crimson, as he grew inordinately angry at the idea of being used so nauseatingly without his consent.
Harry Potter would never know about Severus’ personal brand of revenge.
But Tom Marvolo Riddle did. Red eyes narrowed as he headed for the bathroom. Silently, patiently, he planned his revenge.
The End
1 - No offence to virgins. I know many of them. Also, I’d do Snape if given the option between him and James. Who’s with me?
2 - At common law, rape is defined as when a man penetrates a woman’s vagina with his penis. Nothing else counts under common law, so oral rape, penetration by an object, anal penetration by fingers or the penis, is not technically rape. There are certain acts that cover those situations. In Ireland it’s the Criminal Justice (Rape) Act 1994 (which was enacted a very long time after Severus graduated Hogwarts), and I assume there would be a similar one in England as well. I’m going with the theory that the Wizarding World doesn’t follow the Muggle system of enacting Acts to compensate for irregularities within the law. Common law is the only Law in the Wizarding World.
A/N: Harry seems really bipolar at times. Severus, and James and the others, don’t know - but that would be the part of Voldemort’s soul within Harry acting up. Voldemort rose back to power when Harry was 5, ten years earlier than in canon. Because he was weaker for a shorter amount of time, he’s growing stronger quicker and the Horcrux within Harry is trying to take control. What are really Voldemort’s actions comes across to Severus as James’ influence on Harry. Harry, as a whole, would be more like his mother is he hadn’t have been the Boy-Who-Lived.
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I really want to work on The Abyss, but I don’t know the first thing about ‘breaking children in’. Anyone have any ideas? I think I’ll go with shock therapy. If I hurt him enough, he’ll learn!
Serious warnings for this One-Shot. Go read the warnings.
Hmm… Anyway, anyone who liked Too Much will love this one. Anyone who didn’t… press the ‘back’ button! Flames do not shame me. I have no shame. I do, however, have several tickets to see Miley Cyrus (in Hell). Anyone want one? You can pay me in reviews! :P
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“Do Unto Others”
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, et all are property of JK Rowling, and Bloomsbury, and Warner Bros and all those other nifty people that make it so we can read and watch the Potterverse whenever we feel like it. I own nothing and I make no money from this, just so you know.
Summary: [SS/HP] In a world where only Lily died on the night Voldemort attacked, Severus is left as Harry’s very unwilling babysitter. As much as Severus loved Lily, he hates James even more. This is the first chance he’s ever had to extract his own brand of revenge onto the man who made his life hell. James wouldn’t find out. But revenge was still sweet, even if Severus was the only one who knew it had happened. AU.
Warnings: Slash. Under-age. CHAN! SS/HP. Dub-con/Non-con. JP/SS. AU. Language. Sexual situations.
Rating: NC-17. This is not for kids.
A/N: Is it rape, if Harry wasn’t aware of it?
XXX
Words: 5,871
Chapter 1
Do Unto Others
Severus couldn’t keep the scowl off of his face. His eyes were narrowed, and his nostrils flared as he tried to draw in deep, slow, calming breaths. Headmaster Dumbledore stood in front of him, smiling warmly even though he knew Severus was going to refuse.
“No.”
“Pardon me?” Albus asked. His blue eyes twinkled in amusement, and he folded his hands behind his back and took a small step forward. “Now, my boy. Think about this. It’s a magnificent opportunity to get to know Lily’s son. She would have wanted you to be involved in his life, you know. It’ll only be for one night. This Order meeting is important.”
“Which is why I should be there.” Severus tried to remain calm, to make the older Wizard see reason. He was not going to watch Potter’s brat.
“You would be, if not for the spy we have within the Order. Lord Voldemort has risen to power much faster than we anticipated. When the Killing Curse rebounded off of young Harry onto the Dark Lord, I had hoped he would have been incapacitated for a good number of years. Unfortunately, he seems to have retained many loyal followers, despite his abysmal treatment of them.” Albus gave Severus another winning smile. “We wouldn’t want you to become endangered if Lord Voldemort was to learn that you were not as loyal as you profess. That is why, my boy, you mustn’t come to the meeting.”
“You’re right,” Severus said lowly. Albus’ eyes widened. “I should go to my quarters at Hogwarts and work on my lesson plan for next term.”
Dumbledore narrowed his eyes, with a soft, “ah!” He should have known that Severus would not give in so easily.
It didn’t take too much longer, though, before Snape was reluctantly agreeing to act as a babysitter. It was not something he wished to do under normal circumstances. He could hardly bring himself to spend time with his own godson. He most certainly did not want to be around the offspring of Lily and James Potter. He cringed at the thought. The woman he loved and that - that - that bastard, poor excuse of a human being, procreating. His lips curled downwards. But he gave the Headmaster a nod, and promised to be at Godric’s Hollow the following night.
XXX
“James,” Severus head a voice saying as he tumbled out of the fireplace, “I know you don’t like him. I hate him too. But Snape is the only one available to mind Harry. He’ll keep Harry safe, and that is what’s important.” Severus thought it sounded like Black, but he shrugged the thought off. Sirius Black would never defend him; the other man would chose to die first.
Another voice joined in, this one was Potter’s. “I still hate him.”
“I know, Prongs. I know. But Lily loved him, you know. There must be something decent about him.” Remus Lupin: always the voice of reason.
Snape clenched his fists by his sides, and turned his face away from the direction the voices were coming from. Potter was shouting now, about how Lily didn’t know what a ‘slimy, filthy-’ Snape was. The noise was suddenly muffled, and Severus snorted as he imagined someone covering Potter’s mouth with his or her hand.
“Not in front of Harry.” Lupin scolded. There was a tense silence, and suddenly, “Harry? Where’s Harry? Harry!” The scuffling, fumbling noises that were made in the living room brought a slow smirk to Severus’ face.
He looked away from the wall he had been staring at, and gasped. The child in question was standing in front of him, staring up at him with wide familiar eyes. Lily’s eyes. Potter was notoriously protective of his son. The boy hardly left Godric’s Hollow, and the public hadn’t seen pictures of him since the year the Dark Lord was first vanquished. This was the first time Severus had ever met Harry James Potter. Out of spite, he had refused to attend the naming ceremony. Now he wished he had. If he had, he would have had some idea of what to expect. But he didn’t. He was stunned speechless at the sight of Lily’s son. Wide green eyes, and a small, round nose, but every other feature was the father’s. Short of breath, Severus managed to tear his eyes away from the child in front of him. When he wasn’t looking straight at the boy, he found it much easier to remember that he hated the child. Potter’s child.
“Harry!” A voice cried, and suddenly James was in front of him, scooping the seven-year-old boy into the air. “You worried me.”
“I didn’t leave the cottage, father.” The boy drawled. Severus flinched, eyes narrowing. He sounded like Draco Malfoy, his godson, and probably Draco’s father at the child’s age, and how Severus had always imagined James Potter had sounded as a brat. When Harry spoke, he had none of Lily’s inherent sweetness. None of her goodness. He was just like James: spoilt and arrogant and uncaring of whom he hurt as long as he got what he wanted. “There was nothing to worry about.”
“You’re my son, I’m allowed to worry.”
“My name is Professor Severus Snape,” the man in question said. He held out his hand warily, expecting to have it ignored. His eyes widened when Harry reached out to shake it, a shy smile, Lily’s smile, on his face. He was completely different to how he had been a moment ago.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Professor Snape. Professor Dumbledore said you were the youngest Potions Master, ever! Is that true? Who did you study under?” The boy babbled excitedly. Snape was surprised to note that as Harry spoke, he relaxed until he was completely boneless and James found it difficult to hold him up. Eventually the man had to set Harry back on his feet. Ignoring the frown on James Potter’s face, Harry strode from the room. “Come on, I’ll show you my Potions kit. It’s only for beginners, but it’s better than what any of the Weasleys have!” He said proudly, turning to give Snape a wide smile.
When talking to Potter, Harry appeared brat-like, angry and resentful, but with Severus (Severus who hated the child of James Potter) the boy acted like any other happy child trying to make friends. It made Snape feel a little guilty for deciding to outright hate the boy. He wouldn’t have followed Harry from the living room, he told himself, except that it had very much pissed of the eldest Potter.
Harry’s potions kit was rudimentary, but Harry seemed to know what everything was used for and needed for very well. The boy would undoubtedly do well in Severus’ class (assuming he didn’t land in Gryffindor, in which case Severus would be obliged to fail him). Severus talked him through two simple Potions, showing Harry how to chop the ingredients and telling him in what order to add them. Harry did as he was told, and he remembered the instructions perfectly. Neither Potion exploded, much to Severus’ disappointment. It seemed Harry had his mother’s skill for Potions. Severus wondered if Harry would be as good at Charms as Lily was as well?
By the time they left the lab, the three Order members were gone. Harry and Severus were alone.
The Wizard found he really didn’t mind Harry’s presence. The boy wasn’t annoying, or aggravating, or infuriating like James was. Severus didn’t feel the overwhelming urge to punch and hex and scream at the boy, not like he had in school whenever James was alone with him. They spoke, mostly about Potions and schoolwork, for a handful of hours. It was beginning to grow late, no doubt passed Harry’s bedtime, before the conversation took a turn Severus didn’t like.
“Professor Dumbledore said you were friends with my mum. What was she like? Father said she was pretty, and I suppose in the pictures she is. Was she pretty in real life too? How long were you friends?”
Severus turned his head fractionally, looking at the boy from the corner of his eyes. The child was leaning forward in the seat, an almost ravenous expression on his face. His eyes were wide, so like Lily’s when she was searching for answers. Her mind was always open and hungry, seeking knowledge of any kind. Her son looked at Severus with the same open, wondering expression that Lily had so often gifted him with when they spoke about old Magic and Pureblood traditions.
“I have known Lily Evan since she was a young girl. We lived quite close by. I did not get along with her elder sister, Petunia, but it matters not since she is only a filthy Muggle.”
Severus paused. He waited for Harry to defend his aunt, defend his mother’s family, but the boy remained silent. Harry stared up at him, his mouth pressed into a thin line and his cheeks were flushed. “She was Muggleborn wasn’t she? My mother?”
“Yes, she was. And a very powerful Witch, regardless.” Harry gave a proud smile at the comment.
“Why do you suppose my father married her anyway? She wasn’t Pureblood. Aren’t Purebloods only meant to marry magical people? There was an article in the Daily Prophet, it said that people like my father were traitors to their kind.”
“Your mother was magical.” Severus pointed out slowly. He wasn’t sure that he liked the direction this conversation was going in. Who would have thought, the Boy-Who-Lived was a blood supremist, and he was only seven!
“Yes,” Harry bit out, “but her parents were Muggles.” The child sneered, and Severus flinched back. He looked shockingly like Tom Riddle for a moment. If not for the colour of Harry’s - Lily’s - eyes, Snape would have mistaken the child for a young Dark Lord Voldemort.
“Your grandparents were good people, and they loved your mother very much.” Severus half couldn’t believe he was defending Muggles. He gave a soft sigh.
Harry fixed him with a sly smirk. “Did you love my mother very much?” His eyes were bright, swirling with some emotion Severus was afraid to name. But he knew what it was anyway. James had looked at him like that once, and it was a memory Severus would sooner forget. “Did she ever let you touch her? I bet you would have liked that. Touching her, I mean. Even is she was a Mudblood.”
“How dare you!” Snape hissed. He hadn’t meant to let his temper get the best of him. He had told himself, prepared himself as Harry opened his mouth, that whatever Harry said Severus wouldn’t let it effect him. He had lost composure. Before he could stop himself, he had struck out. His hand connected with Harry’s cheek and the boy gave a cry as he fell off of his chair. Wide eyes stared up at him, as Harry lay sprawled across the floor.
“I’m going to bed.” The child said. The creature from before was gone. In its place was Lily’s child. He seemed meek and demure, looking up at Severus through lowered eyelids and the fringe of his hair, a bruise already blooming across one cheek, and his teeth worried his bottom lip shyly. Severus felt a twinge of guilt in his chest but pushed it away. The boy had had it coming. The things he had said, about his own mother, about Lily, had been more than enough to deserve a small smack. It wasn’t like Severus had beaten the boy, or anything!
Severus held his tongue. He didn’t apologize, or bid the child goodnight. He merely nodded his head, watching warily till Harry was out of sight. When the sound of a door banging closed upstairs drifted down to him, he finally relaxed. His head fell forward with a sigh. Severus raised his hands to fist into his hair and he pushed back the memories that Harry’s harsh words had stirred to the surface.
Harry was more like his father than he knew.
XXX
Severus wasn’t sure when he had drifted off, but he must have done. In his mind, when he ran across memories that he did not enjoy, he merely pushed them away, or hid them behind his Occlumency shields and pretended that they did not exist.
In his dreams, those memories always manifested as nightmares.
On days when he was particularly exhausted, or upset, or emotional, it was so much harder to keep memories of this kind buried. It wasn’t something he had enjoyed at the time, and it was something that mortified him to remember. It wasn’t something he wanted to revisit. But nonetheless, he found that it was this particular memory that was visiting his dreams that night.
Severus smiled to himself. Thinking of Lily Evans always made him smile. He didn’t particularly care if anyone saw him. He was too happy to care. Lily had told him that he was attractive.
It wasn’t quite as it sounded, however. Severus had been upset over Sirius Black telling him he was ‘an unattractive Slytherin scumbag’ and implying that he would never, never find a woman willing to marry him, even for money. Severus hadn’t thought much about the comment. He wouldn’t have let it bother him, except Lily had walked passed and heard everything. Her eyes had widened, her mouth had tightened, and unexplainably she had reached out to slap Black right across the face.
Lily wasn’t even talking to him, but she had defended him anyway. He had called her a ‘Mudblood’, he had tried to apologize, but it hadn’t done much good. But yet Lily had defended him, physically and verbally. She had told Sirius that he, Severus, was distinctly handsome, and anyone Severus went after should consider herself lucky.
That had been over a day ago, and Snape was still floating on clouds about it. The scene kept playing out in his head, over and over. Lily thought he was attractive. Severus didn’t think he would ever get over it.
He walked leisurely through the corridors of Hogwarts. He stopped at the base of the stairs that wound upwards to the Astronomy Tower. Undoubtedly, a pair of miscreants would be using the Tower to perform illicit actions upon one another, but Severus decided they would just have to clear off. He needed somewhere to think, alone, and bask in the wonderful memory that was still playing out in his head.
When he entered the Tower, he was unsurprised to find a couple occupied in one corner. Snape cleared his throat, and the girl jumped back with a gasp. The prefects badge on Snape’s robes glittered under the moonlight that streamed in through the slight windows, and the sight of the badge brought a frown to Potter’s face.
“Snivellus.” The Gryffindor was wearing the Head Boy’s badge.
The Witch fled the room, not bothering to say goodbye to James. Though, he didn’t look like he minded one way or the other.
“Are you really so desperate, Potter, that you’d fornicate with the first woman to cross your path?” He sneered. He wasn’t that bothered about Potter’s promiscuity, so long as it wasn’t Lily in the Astronomy Tower with him.
“As opposed to you, who will never lose that cherished virginity of yours?” James smirked. His brown eyes landed on Snape’s tightly clenched fists, and the smirk widened. “Oh but I bet you want to, don’t you? Give it up to someone. Lily probably. Am I right?” Snape’s mouth tightened in anger but he stayed silent. “Do you honestly believe she would ever want you? She could do so much better than a filthy, greasy, slimy Slytherin like you.”
“Oh, better?” Severus asked, his eyes narrowed. “Like you, a Gryffindor whore?”
The comment bounced off of James without making a dent. “Better a whore than a virgin. Like you.”1 James gave a slow smirk. “I hear Lily thinks you’re handsome. How much of her homework did you have to do before she agreed to say that?” He laughed, lowly, but it echoed around the Tower and seemed impossibly loud in Severus’ mind.
With a scream, he launched himself at Potter, tackling the other boy to the floor. Snape’s hands were around James’ throat, and he squeezed, uncaring of the trouble he could get into. All he cared about was the way James eyes had gone wide and watery, the way the boy beneath him was struggling to breath, bucking and writhing and trying to get free. All of a sudden, James went limp. His eyes were still open, and his eyelids fluttered, so Severus knew he wasn’t dead, but all the same he drew his hands back.
Potter’s hips lifted the moment his throat was freed. James was hard, and he didn’t seem at all embarrassed by the fact. He pressed his erection up into Snape’s groin and gave an exaggerated moan. “Oh Sevvie!” He said, his voice high and breathy, imitating a woman’s. “Oh, yeah Sev, like that. Oh, I love you Severus, so much more than James! Oh, oh! Oh yeah!” Each ‘oh’ was punctuated with an upward thrust of James Potter’s hips. After a short stunned silence, Severus wrenched himself away with a horrified cry.
“Did you enjoy that, Snivellus?” James asked, his voice reverting back to its usual arrogant and taunting timbre. “That’s the closest you’ll ever get to having sex with Lily.” His eyes lingered on Severus’ mortified face, before they slid lower, and widened. “Oh, you did enjoy that. You sick fucker, you!” James gave a chuckle, still eyeing the bulge in the front of Severus’ pants.
Snape had never done anything like that before, except with his own hand, but there was a difference between touching yourself and having someone else in the room, touching you. Even if you hated that person, it could be very arousing. And it had been in this case, because while James was pretending to be Lily, Severus had been imagining what it would be like if it had been Lily beneath it. And his body had reacted appropriately to that line of thought.
James eyes were bright with an emotion Snape couldn’t put a name to. They practically glowed in the darkness, dazzling beacons of malicious intent and they were honing in on Severus.
Before Severus could register what was happening, he was being pinned to the ground. James was on top of him, straddling his thighs, and a binding charm had his arms and legs fixed firmly to the floor. His trousers were unbuckled and unzipped, and Snape tried to struggle, desperately needing to be free, but James’ spell was too strong. And then the trousers were being pushed down his hips, bunching at his knees beneath James’ arse.
‘NO’, he thought, ‘no, no, no’. This couldn’t be happening. He refused to allow himself to be raped by James Potter. Why would Potter even want to touch him anyway, except to humiliate him and - oh, he realized. Potter was going to humiliate him. Severus was terrified to admit it was working already. Even bound by the spell, his legs were trembling with shame and fear, as Potter looked him over. No one had ever seen him like this, so exposed and vulnerable.
James let out a low chuckle, and Snape felt his cheeks flush with shame. “Well, look at Snivellus. All excited about losing his virginity. At last.” His hand came out, his fingertips brushing against the tip of Snape’s cock, and the teenager let out a low moan at the contact. “Oh Sevvie,” James panted, changing his voice again, “you know just how to touch me. Oh, right there! Yes!” He shifted forward as he spoke, thrusting lightly so that he was brushing against Severus’ erection. The dark haired Wizard gave a startled cry at the unexpected friction. James started laughing again, deep and amused and his eyes glinted as they fixed on Severus’ watery eyes.
“Don’t you dare, Potter!” Snape hissed, fighting back his tears.
“Snivellus don’t be silly. I’m not going to fuck you. The very thought disgusts me. Your virtue is safe from me, and everyone else.” James moved again, straddling Severus’ chest this time. He opened his fly, and pulled his cock out of his pants. His eyes fluttered shut as he wrapped a hand around himself and stroked until he was completely hard. “Oh, Lily, yes, Lily!” James groaned, opening one eye long enough to wink cheekily at Snape. He fisted himself hurriedly, moaning Lily’s name loudly. His free hand was clenching Snape’s jaw, stopping the boy from talking or attempting to bite James’ cock, which hovered precariously close to the Slytherin’s mouth.
“Open wide, Snivellus.” Snape gave a sneer and turned his face away, but James’ grip yanked him back into position. “Anyone else would be honoured to swallow for me. I don’t think Lily would be pleased if you refused to go down on her, you know, this is essentially the same thing. Now, open your mouth, Snape.” James never actually penetrated any part of Severus’ body, so it wasn’t actually rape2 but when he came he managed to get most of it inside of Severus’ mouth. The rest of his ejaculate splashed onto Snape’s face and neck, and James zipped up his pants with a chuckled.
Snape turned his head to the side and spat, a disgusted, horrified - broken - look on his face. “I hate you.” He snarled, tears staining his cheeks.
James leant down, brushed a blob of cum off of Snape’s jaw and licked on his own finger. “I love you too, Lily.”
Potter had left Snape there, like that, pants open and face covered with semen. Lily Evans had been the one to find him the following morning. At the sight of her, he grew hard against his will, and it was another very humiliating experience to add to his list of humiliating experiences experienced at James Potter’s hands. She turned away from him with wide eyes and red cheeks, and when she looked back at him, Severus couldn’t help but feel that she was looking at him in a whole new, bad, light.
The girl he had found Potter with the night before was telling everyone who would listen that Snape had begged to suck Potter off, but James had rejected him. Severus didn’t hear the rumours until lunchtime. It was clear Lily believed them, if the considering glances she kept shooting him were any indication, but she didn’t appear to question why he was bound and appeared to obviously have carried out fellatio in some form or manner. Her attention was focused too much on Potter.
Another rumour he hadn’t learnt of until lunchtime. Lily and James were an item.
Lily would never be his.
He woke with a start, almost falling off of the sofa with the movement. A blanket had been placed over him, and the only person who could have put it there was Harry. He was the only other person in the cottage. Snape felt a momentary wave of nausea. Was Potter watching him sleep? Did Potter reach out to touch him when he was defenceless and vulnerable? He shook the thought from his head. Harry was a child. He wasn’t even old enough to ejaculate at any rate.
Severus stood, folding the blanket slowly and placing it down on the chair. He wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep now.
Instead, he decided to go check on Harry. If the boy were awake, it would only be polite to thank him for the blanket. Potter’s room was smaller than Severus expected. The bedrooms were the only rooms Harry hadn’t shown him around earlier, and Harry’s took him by surprise. The sheer number of books made Severus smile. It reminded him of Lily’s bedroom at her Muggle home. Severus entered the room quietly. The lump in the middle of the bed was certainly Harry, but the Potions Master was unsure if the boy was asleep.
No noise left Harry as Severus leant over him. Deep breathes sounded through the room. The boy was sleeping, Severus was certain of it. The elder man pulled back the blankets. Harry was lying in the very middle of the bed, hidden under the sheets, but as he was exposed to Severus’ view the elder Wizard felt his breath catch. Without his eyes open, there was almost nothing to remind Severus that this boy was Lily’s. It was like starring at a younger version of James Potter. Even the hair stuck out like Potters did, albeit Harry’s was a natural style. His hand reached out, lightly stroking one cheek, just beneath Harry’s eyes, almost willing them to flutter open.
Instead, Harry tilted his head back and let out a low moan.
He sounded like James in the dream, just before he came. Snape tore his hand away from Harry. They clenched by his sides. Anger seared through him, unaltered by any other emotion he held within himself. He was just so suddenly, inordinately angry that he wanted to reach out and strangle the boy. Just like he had done to James.
Without conscious thought, his hands had locked around Harry’s throat, but the boy didn’t fight him. Submissively, in his sleep, Harry offered more of his throat up. His hands squeezed until Harry let out a soft gasp. His eyes lids flickered, the eyes beneath them rolled but then they closed again and Harry settled back into sleep. Severus let go, but he didn’t move back. He was enraptured with watching the boy, the son of his childhood tormentor. This boy’s father made Severus’ life hell, and there was nothing Severus could do to repay the man for that. Nothing.
He hadn’t noticed his own reaction to his treatment of Harry until the boy shifted in his sleep and a hand came out, brushing against his groin accidentally. Severus gave a startled gasp at the feeling of being brushed against. His cock throbbed and the movement drew his attention to the bulge in his pants. He hadn’t even realized that choking Harry had excited him.
Severus swallowed. Indecision warred within him, but the anger that still burnt won out. He pulled his robes off, flinging them out of the way. They landed on top of a small pile of stuffed animals in the corner of the room. Severus’ fly was unzipped and his trousers pushed down, exposing his erection. Harry was a child. A child of someone he hated. When the boy had his eyes closed it was so easy for Severus to forget that this child was also the child of someone he had loved very much. Severus knew he shouldn’t do this. But what Harry didn’t know, wouldn’t, couldn’t hurt him.
Severus’ mother had always told him to do unto others only things he had wished they would do unto him. He gritted his teeth as he thought back on his dreams. Potter had been asking for his, practically begging Severus to retaliate, going so far as to offer his son up on a platter. No doubt James didn’t see it that way, but Severus did. There was no way he was ever going to be able to repay James for the actions that man had taken against him throughout Hogwarts. There was nothing he could do. Except hurt Harry. He didn’t actually need to hurt Harry. Harry never needed to know what was happening. James didn’t even need to know.
Severus would know.
And that was the important thing.
As he thought, his hand had begun to lightly stroke his length. His fingers squeezed around the base of his cock, and stroked smoothly along the length before offering feather light touched to the tip of his cock. The head was purpling and leaking, and Severus watched his hand moving on himself with thinly pressed lips.
He moved closer to the bed, stopping when his thighs were pressing against the mattress. When Harry had moved in his sleep, he had turned from his back onto his side, and now he was lying facing Snape. His mouth was open slightly, breathing through there instead of his nose. Severus reached out with his free hand, and prodded at the boy’s jaw, pushing at it until Harry opened his mouth wider. Severus leant forward, bending down over the child until Harry’s breath brushed over his cock with every exhalation.
“Lily,” Severus whispered, fisting himself faster. Harry mumbled something in his sleep, his lips brushing the tip of Severus’ cock with the movement and the Potions Master gave a guttural cry at the feeling. He thrust his hips forward, his grip becoming harsher, his pace faster as his orgasm neared. He thrust forward again, just as Harry mumbled something else, and Severus gave a hoarse cry as the head of his cock slipped into the warm, wet mouth before him.
Against his better judgement, a hand tangled in the back of Harry’s hair. Severus thrust forward again, purposely driving himself into Harry’s mouth. The boy made a choking sound, and Severus stilled, tense and angry with himself for going as far as to penetrate the boy. James had never done that. Harry didn’t deserve that.
The thought was driven from his mind when Harry shifted again, swallowing around Severus’ cock, and the Wizard gave a groan and rocked his hips forward again. Harry stayed asleep as Severus fucked his face, moaning, “Lily, yes, Lily”, to himself over and over. He half felt disgusted with himself, but the larger part of him was more concerned with the pleasure he was experiencing, the feel and heat of Harry’s mouth against him and around him, the texture of Harry’s hair in his fist, the trembling of his thighs as his orgasm soared towards him.
He pulled back as he came. A cry left him, loud and startled, and he ejaculated into Harry’s mouth. He pulled away from the boy completely when his trembling died down, some of his semen sliding out of Harry’s mouth along with his cock, and dribbling down the child’s chin. Harry swallowed reflectively in his sleep, consuming most of the evidence of Severus’ actions, and he turned onto his other side, curling into a ball as he continued to sleep.
Severus took a hurried step back, then another one, and another. Horror was quickly dawning on him. What had he done? That was a child, an innocent, young child, whom the woman he loved had died to protect. He was disgusted with himself, but that wasn’t a new experience. He was angry with himself as well, also not new. But he was also angry with Harry. Why the hell didn’t the boy wake up? If he had woken up - Severus had made more than enough noise since he had entered the room - than Severus would never have done what he had. The sight of Lily’s eyes in that face would have forced all malicious thoughts from his mind.
As he backed towards the door he noticed an empty potions vial on the bookcase. He went to it and picked it up. A gasp left him as he read the label. A sleeping potion? The child took sleeping potions? Severus vaguely remembered Albus mentioning something about Harry having trouble with nightmares. He swallowed heavily. The child had been drugged.
The entire time, Severus had been thinking about Harry waking up. Knowing that if Harry woke up, Severus would stop. He had assumed that Harry could wake up, but he wouldn’t, not until the potion wore off.
Severus squeezed his eyes shut as he left the bedroom, closing the door after himself. He had assaulted, raped, a drugged child. His fingers clenched at his sides in shame and anger and guilt. It didn’t matter that Harry would never know. Severus would always remember. And the worst part was that he was only feeling guilty because he didn’t regret it. Not one bit. He had finally gotten his revenge on James Potter.
It was still revenge, even if James didn’t know about it. It had still happened.
Severus flooed away from Godric’s Hollow, uncaring that Harry would be left alone until the morning. The child was probably safer if he never saw Snape again. He tucked into a bottle of Firewhiskey when he was safely enclosed in his quarters at Hogwarts. When he slept that night, he dreamt of his memories again, and woke up panting and sweating, his heart beating frantically and his legs trembling as he came in his pants.
XXX
When Harry woke the next morning it was to a strange, unpleasant taste in his mouth. It was cloying and dried, and it coated his tongue like a fine film of something, but he didn’t know what. His chin felt strange, like there was something hanging onto it that shouldn’t be: like when you walked through a spiders web without seeing it, and took half the web with you on your face. He reached up to rub his chin and cringed as something flaked away. There was something sticky on his pillow as well, and Harry stared down at the white stain dispassionately.
Something wasn’t right here.
He narrowed his eyes in thought. He defiantly hadn’t brought a drink to bed with him, so he certainly hadn’t spilt it on the pillow. The aftertaste in his mouth was unfamiliar, but he hadn’t consumed anything that he wouldn’t ordinarily have last night. He frowned.
He supposed this must be one of those strange things that happen to boys when they grew up. Uncle Sirius had tried to explain about ‘bees’ and ‘birds’ and ‘sticky things’ to him after his seventh birthday, but the man had been so flustered that Harry hadn’t actually understood a word said.
He rubbed at his chin again, eyes narrowing in disgust. Whatever it was flaked again. Harry gave a groan, cringing at the thought of his father finding him like this. His father was even stranger about ‘growing up’ than Sirius was. Harry slid from the bed, strangely concerned to find that his penis wasn’t stick, like he remembered Sirius saying it was supposed to be. As he stopped in front of the vanity mirror, perched on top of his desk, Harry caught the sight of an unfamiliar garment draped over his toys from when he was a baby. Anything that could be saved after the fire that destroyed Godric’s Hollow when he was a baby was in that pile. And on top of them was Severus Snape’s robe.
Harry narrowed his eyes in thought, but he couldn’t think of any reason why those robes would be there. A part of him, a part Harry didn’t even realize existed, grew angry, drawing conclusions that the child was incapable of. His hands clenched, and his eyes bled into crimson, as he grew inordinately angry at the idea of being used so nauseatingly without his consent.
Harry Potter would never know about Severus’ personal brand of revenge.
But Tom Marvolo Riddle did. Red eyes narrowed as he headed for the bathroom. Silently, patiently, he planned his revenge.
The End
1 - No offence to virgins. I know many of them. Also, I’d do Snape if given the option between him and James. Who’s with me?
2 - At common law, rape is defined as when a man penetrates a woman’s vagina with his penis. Nothing else counts under common law, so oral rape, penetration by an object, anal penetration by fingers or the penis, is not technically rape. There are certain acts that cover those situations. In Ireland it’s the Criminal Justice (Rape) Act 1994 (which was enacted a very long time after Severus graduated Hogwarts), and I assume there would be a similar one in England as well. I’m going with the theory that the Wizarding World doesn’t follow the Muggle system of enacting Acts to compensate for irregularities within the law. Common law is the only Law in the Wizarding World.
A/N: Harry seems really bipolar at times. Severus, and James and the others, don’t know - but that would be the part of Voldemort’s soul within Harry acting up. Voldemort rose back to power when Harry was 5, ten years earlier than in canon. Because he was weaker for a shorter amount of time, he’s growing stronger quicker and the Horcrux within Harry is trying to take control. What are really Voldemort’s actions comes across to Severus as James’ influence on Harry. Harry, as a whole, would be more like his mother is he hadn’t have been the Boy-Who-Lived.
* * *
I really want to work on The Abyss, but I don’t know the first thing about ‘breaking children in’. Anyone have any ideas? I think I’ll go with shock therapy. If I hurt him enough, he’ll learn!