So I think my friend K is ignoring me...
I first began to suspect that K was avoiding me a couple of months ago, when it suddenly became very hard to get her to reply to texts. But I also knew she was really busy with work, and I didn't want to be an annoying nag. I asked Rebecca, our only mutual friend, if K had said anything or if Rebecca had noticed anything, and she laughed and said I was being silly. K was just busy with work.
When the three of us met up at San Pedro Square, I didn't notice anything different in her interactions so I decided Rebecca must have been right.
But ever since then I haven't been able to get a response from K to any of my attempts at contacting her. We've always communicated through texts and Facebook messaging, but I've gotten no responses to invitations to an outing at the Walt Disney Family Museum (and she loves Disney) or just to have coffee here in town. I tried e-mailing, too, but nothing. I haven't tried calling, because that's never been a way we've made plans, but that's starting to look like the final option.
If she's mad at me for something, I wouldn't be surprised. I say and do a lot of stupid and thoughtless things, and I rarely intend to offend, but I know sometimes my thoughts just come out the wrong way. I've been thinking about it, and these are my best guesses for what happened:
And yes, I want my friend back.
When the three of us met up at San Pedro Square, I didn't notice anything different in her interactions so I decided Rebecca must have been right.
But ever since then I haven't been able to get a response from K to any of my attempts at contacting her. We've always communicated through texts and Facebook messaging, but I've gotten no responses to invitations to an outing at the Walt Disney Family Museum (and she loves Disney) or just to have coffee here in town. I tried e-mailing, too, but nothing. I haven't tried calling, because that's never been a way we've made plans, but that's starting to look like the final option.
If she's mad at me for something, I wouldn't be surprised. I say and do a lot of stupid and thoughtless things, and I rarely intend to offend, but I know sometimes my thoughts just come out the wrong way. I've been thinking about it, and these are my best guesses for what happened:
- I said something that hurt her feelings or offended one of her core beliefs. It happens. I'm certainly didn't mean to do so, if I did, and I'd apologize and say I'm sorry if I just knew!
- I applied to work at the company she works for. Back in December, I had asked if they had any openings, and she said that if I sent her my resume she'd check. I did, and heard nothing. I assumed there were no openings and decided to take classes at DeAnza instead of working. About a month later, I saw a job listing for the position I'd asked about posted on the company website, so I sent my resume in. At the beginning of this month, I was asked if I wanted to schedule an interview, but because of the chemistry classes it no longer worked with my plans. Maybe K didn't want me as a coworker, and she's mad that I went "over her head"? The timing would be about right. But we've worked together before and as far as I know, it always went well. I don't even mind not being wanted, I just wish she would have told me if this was the issue.
- Sometimes people just grow tired of each other. Sure, it would be painful to hear, "Yeah, I just don't get anything out of this friendship so I think we shouldn't hang out anymore," but that would be better than to be left wondering what the heck is going on!
- She's genuinely busy and/or ill (she suffers from a couple of chronic health conditions) and just doesn't feel up to doing much. As time has gone on, this option has seen decreasingly plausible, but part of me still clings to the explanation hopefully.
And yes, I want my friend back.