party hardy
so i've noticed that to be in party mood, you have to have energy
strangely when you're in party mood, you do have energy
but i'm just not up for it
sure it's fun to look glam for a night - but pictures never live up to the real thing and moments can't be recorded or captured on camera
so i put on my dress, did my hair, put on some makeup and dressed up
compliments all around but it's like shy smile and then ok bye guys
so now i'm downstairs listening to the party upstairs that sounds like fun but which i have no energy for
i want nothing more but to listen
i guess i'm going through life as an observer - in fact, i've sort of always been that - often learning more through the mistakes of others than my own
this need to be in control and not lose control
i even control my own procrastination, pushing myself further and further towards the limit
so i'm leaving and this boy asks "you're leavin already" - yeah carol would yell and be like - gurl what are you thinking? get yoru butt back in there an introduce yourself
lol - i miss carol
so i left with a cute south african boy asking me if i was leaving already looking slightly disappointed
yeah... just not in th emood for anything - i don't want to start anything here that's for sure - my roommate has - he goes to cornell tho - better than outta the states :)
i do plan to get somewhat buzzed at maggie's party and to let loose a little - but we'll see how that goes - lol
damn berries here are good - i will miss that - sweet berries that go bad immediately lol but sooo damn good
i made a puff pastry with custard and berries - mmm
so when i got upstairs there was no food left
so i had a small bowl of pasta and now my berries
i think i've probably lost like 10 pounds in the past few days from not really eating and sleeping too much
but you know - WHATEVER - i have GOT to fit into a damn dress for a damn party dammit
lol
i hope my resolve holds
i'm going to bikram yoga again tom - yay sweat and exercise - sweet sweet sweat
it feels good to exercise - brings back the old competitive nature - a happier time - healthy pushing the limits that don't involve not sleeping and stressing
i miss him dammit - but the idea of having someone around and not really him
there are things about him that totally disgust me that i put up with - ewwwww - thinking about them makes me cringe - if you guys knew the half of it - ohhhhh man - lol
gross gross gross
so i must remind myself of the gross gross gross and not think of the good - which there isn't really any left of anyway
:)
time to find mywself a better brighter star ;) oh yeah!!!!!
*hugs and kisses to you all!
strangely when you're in party mood, you do have energy
but i'm just not up for it
sure it's fun to look glam for a night - but pictures never live up to the real thing and moments can't be recorded or captured on camera
so i put on my dress, did my hair, put on some makeup and dressed up
compliments all around but it's like shy smile and then ok bye guys
so now i'm downstairs listening to the party upstairs that sounds like fun but which i have no energy for
i want nothing more but to listen
i guess i'm going through life as an observer - in fact, i've sort of always been that - often learning more through the mistakes of others than my own
this need to be in control and not lose control
i even control my own procrastination, pushing myself further and further towards the limit
so i'm leaving and this boy asks "you're leavin already" - yeah carol would yell and be like - gurl what are you thinking? get yoru butt back in there an introduce yourself
lol - i miss carol
so i left with a cute south african boy asking me if i was leaving already looking slightly disappointed
yeah... just not in th emood for anything - i don't want to start anything here that's for sure - my roommate has - he goes to cornell tho - better than outta the states :)
i do plan to get somewhat buzzed at maggie's party and to let loose a little - but we'll see how that goes - lol
damn berries here are good - i will miss that - sweet berries that go bad immediately lol but sooo damn good
i made a puff pastry with custard and berries - mmm
so when i got upstairs there was no food left
so i had a small bowl of pasta and now my berries
i think i've probably lost like 10 pounds in the past few days from not really eating and sleeping too much
but you know - WHATEVER - i have GOT to fit into a damn dress for a damn party dammit
lol
i hope my resolve holds
i'm going to bikram yoga again tom - yay sweat and exercise - sweet sweet sweat
it feels good to exercise - brings back the old competitive nature - a happier time - healthy pushing the limits that don't involve not sleeping and stressing
i miss him dammit - but the idea of having someone around and not really him
there are things about him that totally disgust me that i put up with - ewwwww - thinking about them makes me cringe - if you guys knew the half of it - ohhhhh man - lol
gross gross gross
so i must remind myself of the gross gross gross and not think of the good - which there isn't really any left of anyway
:)
time to find mywself a better brighter star ;) oh yeah!!!!!
*hugs and kisses to you all!