Hypothetically speaking...
...how would you react should you begin to suspect, for various reasons, that a three year old child under your care had been taken to see the new Transformers movie, and possibly Spiderman 3 as well, without your being asked or informed? Both are rated PG-13, both contain scenes of rather extreme violence. The child in question has watched all of
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Thing is, at this point, it's kinda damage done, and while I agree with your gut, he probably doesn't remember much of it (except the bits that scared him). Hubby took the kids to see TMNT without pre-screening, and was a bit alarmed halfway through to realize that it was the graphic novel version, not the cartoon version. The boy (6) was predictably scared by it, but he's gotten over it enough to ask that we by the DVD. (We said no.)
This is one of those arguments you'll never win. You'll just be the overprotective mom who never lets him have any fun or is turning him into a sissy or whatever. I'd go for concerned, talk about concrete repercussions (like nightmares), and pick battles. Like the not telling you -- that's the part you NEED to know.
But yeah, Sandman and a 3-year-old? I don't see how that's a healthy, unselfish mix. And Transformers is a big fat NO WAY. Are you sure, though, that he didn't pick up a bunch from advertisements? The boy hasn't and won't see either one, but he sure seems to know an awful lot about them. It's amazing what they pick up from advertisements, character toys at McDonald's, and talking to their friends. Mine even knows the character names and where they come from, and he has NEVER watched any version of it. I did a double-take when he started going on about Megatron. I think he picked up some of it from hearing us sing the cartoon jingle, and some from Dad's reaction to the toys (complete with sound effects): "That's MEGATROONNNN." :D
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