(no subject)
YEA so I was trying to take a nap before work tonight, but one of my neighbors decided to mow their lawn at 7 o'clock on a Sunday evening... so now I can't sleep! oh well... I don't think that I could have slept anyway, I've got way too much on my mind to sleep. I'm just kinda tired of always trying to make everyone else happy and pleasing everyone else, while in the process hurting myself more and more... I don't know, I've just always tried to please everyone and make sure that everyone else around me is happy... I've always said "As long as you're happy, then I'm happy" and well that's not entirely true. Then in the end I hear, "You just don't make me happy"... so again how does that make any sense, yea it doesn't... oh well, I'm a strong believer that 'Everything happens for a reason' but sometimes I really wonder what the reason is for me to continuously keep getting hurt... then it just takes me forever to get over things, and that just hurts me more. GAA!! I don't know! I decided that yes there are some things that I would give anything to have back in my life, but also right now I'm content being myself and living for myself and enjoying life... so that's what I'm doing and 'if it's meant to be, it will be' and that can totally be applied to any aspect of my life! I'm just taking things as they come right now and dealing with them at that time and trying to not dwell on the past and look into the future... I don't know, I think I'm just feeling lonely right now... and I really want to stop having those days! I just want to be happy again! :)