At a Crossroads...?
I've often heard people talking about being 'at a crossroads' in their life. Not sure which way to go. So much choice, so little time to make a decision. And I find myself in a very similar position.
Very recently I was left heart broken by the person I gave up everything for to be with (stupid stupid stupid). I was convinced we'd spend the rest of our lives together and after everything I've done in the past year - all those amazing life experiences away from 'home' - I discovered the only thing that really matters to me is to be secure in a place where I'm surrounded by people who love me. You really don't have to search too far from 'home' to find yourself......but it's what it took for me.
So I came back. And got a job. A job I liked (shock horror). And it was all looking very peachy thank you very much.
But then I guess reality kicked in and the one I love decided they didn't want to be with me anymore. "I'm sorry but I no longer see you in my future." - "Do you even love me anymore??" - "....I ....don't know. ....I'm sorry."
The next day at work they told us they were getting rid of our department and I was going to lose my job.
You are now standing at the crossroads.
I feel like I'm in one of those BBC Basic computer adventure games. Shall I throw shit at the dwarf, or go into the castle?
I always hated the crossroads. It always seemed that no matter where I turned I ended up getting eaten by a troll or a wizard or a giant eyeball.
But then I think about it a bit. It's not really a crossroads is it? At a crossroads you have the option of continuing on your path straight ahead, just the way you were going before. But I don't have that option. I cannot continue being with the love of my life, and I cannot stay in my job. My only option is left.....or right....or backwards.
I'm not at the crossroads of my life. I'm at the T-junction.
And I can hear the traffic queuing up behind me, sounding their horns impatiently as they wait for me to make up my mind which way to go and get on with it.