Frayed Edges
I know I haven't written here in a while, mostly because my life is so lame that there's never really anything to write about. I'm still waiting for my house to be finished, which is frustrating to say the least. It's beautiful though, and just what I need to start my life over again. Tonight was Trey's birthday. One year old. Then she announced that she was pregnant again. I was happy for them, truly happy. But a little of me died inside. I used to be adamant that I would never marry, never have children because I look at these people and they seemed so unhappy and irritable. But they were happy, really happy. And I want that. I want the happiness and the unconditional love. I want someone to want me for the rest of their life. I want the snuggles and the cuddles and the laughter and the fights that lead to really great make up sex. I want.
What I have is a roommate that won't leave and his daughter, whom I don't want to leave. I don't know what to do with Nathan, though. I gave him 7 weeks to find a place to live, and because he's so lazy, it's week 10 and he still hasn't left. Why? I don't understand this level of irresponsibility. Not when you have a child to support. Doesn't he care that in less that two weeks he'll be homeless?
I found myself wishing for a car accident tonight. I found myself wishing that the car would rollover and it would crush me. I stanched that. One, because my lkuck would be that I'd live and be paralyzed for life, and two because Nicole was in the car. I may go to a hotel tonight. Find a place with a jaccuzi and cry my heart out and drink myself into a stupor. Maybe drown in the tub.
What I have is a roommate that won't leave and his daughter, whom I don't want to leave. I don't know what to do with Nathan, though. I gave him 7 weeks to find a place to live, and because he's so lazy, it's week 10 and he still hasn't left. Why? I don't understand this level of irresponsibility. Not when you have a child to support. Doesn't he care that in less that two weeks he'll be homeless?
I found myself wishing for a car accident tonight. I found myself wishing that the car would rollover and it would crush me. I stanched that. One, because my lkuck would be that I'd live and be paralyzed for life, and two because Nicole was in the car. I may go to a hotel tonight. Find a place with a jaccuzi and cry my heart out and drink myself into a stupor. Maybe drown in the tub.