It still lingers...
It has been almost eight years since I discovered my dad cheating on my mom with one of their employees (who is now heading our family business with my dad). A lot has happened since. My dad has moved out of the house and decided to start a family with the other woman, whom I would like to refer to as the bitch. They now have two kids, one girl and one boy. They live nearby, just 10 mins drive from our Avery home; but despite the proximity, we choose to limit our interactions. We just see dad on occassions, like during our birthdays, Christmas & New Year celebrations, and Father's Day.
I miss him very much - I miss seeing him at the head of the table over meals at home. I miss hearing him crack corny jokes, or hearing him laugh until his asthma acts up. I miss smelling his perfume trail all over the house right before he leaves for work. I miss hearing him start up his SUVs at the basement. I miss seeing him play with our dogs early in the morning. I even miss him getting mad at me. I miss my daddy. I miss him so much.
Unfortunately, he's someone I couldn't replace no matter how hard I try. Mom can only do so much, but she couldn't be dad. I tried looking for dad in my boyfriends (both the past and present), but he was nowhere to be found. He's with someone else, and I don't know how to get him back. I don't know if I'll even ever get him back.
The pain of losing dad is affecting my relationships. I'm having hard time trusting.
I miss him very much - I miss seeing him at the head of the table over meals at home. I miss hearing him crack corny jokes, or hearing him laugh until his asthma acts up. I miss smelling his perfume trail all over the house right before he leaves for work. I miss hearing him start up his SUVs at the basement. I miss seeing him play with our dogs early in the morning. I even miss him getting mad at me. I miss my daddy. I miss him so much.
Unfortunately, he's someone I couldn't replace no matter how hard I try. Mom can only do so much, but she couldn't be dad. I tried looking for dad in my boyfriends (both the past and present), but he was nowhere to be found. He's with someone else, and I don't know how to get him back. I don't know if I'll even ever get him back.
The pain of losing dad is affecting my relationships. I'm having hard time trusting.