couldn't change that
I hate that he haunts my dreams. I hate that whenever I dream about something that means something to me, he's in it. I hate that everytime something happens in those dreams that he is there, and is usually the cause of it. I hate that everytime I close my eyes I see his face. I hate that everytime I seem to fall for someone they always have a bit of him in them. I hate that I can't get over it when nothing is hold me to him. I am a complete and utter fool.
Yesterday at work I was helping a woman who husband just died. She was making funeral programs. And it really broke my heart. We were putting a picture of her husband on the cover, and as soon as I opened the file, she started to cry. Just seeing a picture of him reminded her that he would never hold her again, never kiss her, never lie there with her. and I started to think about that. How good it must have been those mornings that theyjust lay together. Just them. Maybe reminiscing about their past, their children, anything that they've been through. And how good it was to have someone be there with them. It was kind of right there that I understood my people get married. Just to be with that one person who will lie there with you, through anything.
Then I understood why people get married numerous times, because they are trying to find that. That comfortable silence. And you know, I don't blame them. It's all about finding the person that you feel like doing nothing with, but you want to be around them all the time. Well not all the time, I couldn't handle 24/7 lol.
what this entry means, I am not sure. But I just know that we need to stop having dream sex. It hurts too much when I wake up in the morning and you aren't lying there next to me.
AUTHORS NOTE: it was really mind blowing dream sex to top it all off.