different this time around.
wow hello long time, nice to see you again.
I haven't written the entire month of August. not because I didn't want to. Because I opened the "post an entry" page a bunch of time and just sat there not typing anything at all. why?
because sometimes there are just times in your life where you don't want to type or write or put down words. because then people will read it and be like, "oh, okay."
that, and also the fact that I was scared of what I might put down. because I know that I do have this thing where I won't hold back. And maybe this time, it might actually get me hurt.
but hey, nothing can hurt worse than vancouver did, right? I have to be right or else I don't know if I can go on.
I'm done talking to Michelle. Forever. I don't care if she gets up and leaves him after he beats her one day. I don't care anymore. It's actually scary how much I don't care. Sometimes I say that and it's not true, but this time, it really is true.
I wanted to watch the movie waitress but it's about a woman in a bad relationship who has a baby. I love that movie and I thought that she would ruin it for me, but I said no she won't and I watched it anyways.
I listened to Something in the air, and yeah I thought about her for a minute, but then she was outof my mind.
I can even say her name out loud and not feel this pull in me like I am supposed to be there for her.
and you know what, it feels pretty damn good.
I did everything for her. I am out almost $1,200 because of her, I gave up sleep for her. I cried my heart out in the middle of Vancouver for her. I put up with Zack and his condescending remarks for her.
and it doesn't even matter anymore. Like it really doesn't.
I did have a lot to write about this, but then it just came down to, I don't care enough to write anymore about this. So if I can help it, I am not going to write anything else about her or him or any of this bull shit.
at least I know that I don't want to move to Vancouver anymore haha.
alright, so I am going to try to keep up with entries and all that. I can't guarantee it will be as frequent as before but hey, I'm going to give it my best.
But I want these entries to mean something. so now it's going to get a lot more personal. as in, writing snippets, more ideas, feelings, people bashing. I might have to use nicknames because I don't know who knows about this Journal.
not that I care about hurting feelings, I just don't have the energy to deal with the wrath of irrational self centered bitches who think the world revolves around them and that everyone loves them, when in reality everyone can't wait to get the hell away from them.
wow way to end on a bitchy note.
smile pretty.
I haven't written the entire month of August. not because I didn't want to. Because I opened the "post an entry" page a bunch of time and just sat there not typing anything at all. why?
because sometimes there are just times in your life where you don't want to type or write or put down words. because then people will read it and be like, "oh, okay."
that, and also the fact that I was scared of what I might put down. because I know that I do have this thing where I won't hold back. And maybe this time, it might actually get me hurt.
but hey, nothing can hurt worse than vancouver did, right? I have to be right or else I don't know if I can go on.
I'm done talking to Michelle. Forever. I don't care if she gets up and leaves him after he beats her one day. I don't care anymore. It's actually scary how much I don't care. Sometimes I say that and it's not true, but this time, it really is true.
I wanted to watch the movie waitress but it's about a woman in a bad relationship who has a baby. I love that movie and I thought that she would ruin it for me, but I said no she won't and I watched it anyways.
I listened to Something in the air, and yeah I thought about her for a minute, but then she was outof my mind.
I can even say her name out loud and not feel this pull in me like I am supposed to be there for her.
and you know what, it feels pretty damn good.
I did everything for her. I am out almost $1,200 because of her, I gave up sleep for her. I cried my heart out in the middle of Vancouver for her. I put up with Zack and his condescending remarks for her.
and it doesn't even matter anymore. Like it really doesn't.
I did have a lot to write about this, but then it just came down to, I don't care enough to write anymore about this. So if I can help it, I am not going to write anything else about her or him or any of this bull shit.
at least I know that I don't want to move to Vancouver anymore haha.
alright, so I am going to try to keep up with entries and all that. I can't guarantee it will be as frequent as before but hey, I'm going to give it my best.
But I want these entries to mean something. so now it's going to get a lot more personal. as in, writing snippets, more ideas, feelings, people bashing. I might have to use nicknames because I don't know who knows about this Journal.
not that I care about hurting feelings, I just don't have the energy to deal with the wrath of irrational self centered bitches who think the world revolves around them and that everyone loves them, when in reality everyone can't wait to get the hell away from them.
wow way to end on a bitchy note.
smile pretty.