what's going to happen tomorrow.
so my mom came to my cousin Lisa's yesterday. i was not happy to say the least. I left to get away from a lot of shit, and then boom it's practically getting thrown in my face by everyone I know. they are telling me to talk to her and blah blah, but the thing is, right now, I'm not ready to talk to her. I feel my time. Because I did talk to her for a couple minutes and she brought up the school thing again.
Yeah I get that I'm not in school right now, but she doesn't understand that I don't know what I want to do. why am I going to waste MY money on doing something that I don't give a shit about?
Because I know me. And If I do something that I don't feel strongly about, then I don't do it well, and then I give up on it. But she doesn't understand me, or listen to me. I've been telling her this forever, but she is so dense that she doesn't understand that I don't fucking know what I want to do with my life. Sorry that I didn't know that I wanted to be a nurse when I was 18, sorry that I don't want to go and waste my time in school doing fuck all. I'm not you. This is not your life.
I just can't handle being around her without getting completely angry. She said that I should go back into therapy. But I don't want to. Yeah, I'm broken right now, yeah I'm fucking do shit with my life. But let me figure it out. I need to get better on my own terms. If shit starts getting worse, then yeah, I guess I will go back. but now, I just need to be away from the people that make me feel like shit. But that woman doesn't understand it. Doesn't want to understand it. And I can't explain it any clearer. And I'm not going to try again.
I don't know if I want to move to Belleville permanently, but I want to get away. I need to get away. Katlin said that I always have a place to stay with her. "Never think that you are not welcome"
It kind of breaks my heart that my little cousin (well she's not little anymore) is the one who is taking care of me. It's scary how we switch roles so often. She is my sister.
ugh, I am just happy to get away from all of the bullshit right now. I don't want to go back, I don't. But I have to.
I'm not staying. The only people that I would stay for would be Kristalyn and Fonzi.
But I think moving to Virginia would be a little extreme :)
I'm just saying!
Yeah I get that I'm not in school right now, but she doesn't understand that I don't know what I want to do. why am I going to waste MY money on doing something that I don't give a shit about?
Because I know me. And If I do something that I don't feel strongly about, then I don't do it well, and then I give up on it. But she doesn't understand me, or listen to me. I've been telling her this forever, but she is so dense that she doesn't understand that I don't fucking know what I want to do with my life. Sorry that I didn't know that I wanted to be a nurse when I was 18, sorry that I don't want to go and waste my time in school doing fuck all. I'm not you. This is not your life.
I just can't handle being around her without getting completely angry. She said that I should go back into therapy. But I don't want to. Yeah, I'm broken right now, yeah I'm fucking do shit with my life. But let me figure it out. I need to get better on my own terms. If shit starts getting worse, then yeah, I guess I will go back. but now, I just need to be away from the people that make me feel like shit. But that woman doesn't understand it. Doesn't want to understand it. And I can't explain it any clearer. And I'm not going to try again.
I don't know if I want to move to Belleville permanently, but I want to get away. I need to get away. Katlin said that I always have a place to stay with her. "Never think that you are not welcome"
It kind of breaks my heart that my little cousin (well she's not little anymore) is the one who is taking care of me. It's scary how we switch roles so often. She is my sister.
ugh, I am just happy to get away from all of the bullshit right now. I don't want to go back, I don't. But I have to.
I'm not staying. The only people that I would stay for would be Kristalyn and Fonzi.
But I think moving to Virginia would be a little extreme :)
I'm just saying!