in that moment, I felt alive. I felt you there with me.
this was going to be an entry about how I was missing a lot of things and/or people, but no. As soon as I started to write it, I could't becasue then it just becomes all too real for me to deal with.
so I started writing. I got the opening done. I want to extend it, put some more details in, and just all around make it a strong piece of writing. I want to be proud of it.
Alright, so I have this cousin and she started dating this guy around last summer, and ever since they have been together she has been ignoring everyone else in her life. she doesn't talk to me, not to katlin, not to her parents, she essenitally deserted her friends, and her entire lifes happiness depends on this one person. It's pretty fucked up to watch. It's even more fucked up that when she was in montreal a couple months ago she never called me to tell me that she was there.
every vacation that I took, I took it to go and see her and Katlin. I took days off, I didn't go on tropical holidays because I wanted to spend time withthe people, with the person, who knew me for who I really was. But she can't even call me to tell me that she is in my city? When I found that out, my heart clenched and I felt so betrayed. It hurt. And yeah, it still fucking hurts.
she cuts everyone out, and lets Liam run her fucking life. No, that's not right. I want him to cheat on her, or I want him to hurt her, so when she needs to go crying to someone,she sees that she has no one there for her. That's how I feel. I feel betrayed, alone and hurt.
She was my best friend, the person who I knew that I could tell anything to. The person who used to ask me for advice and I would sit there and listen to her about it.
This is the girl who sat there and told me about her friend that killed himself, and how she could have seen them together. This is the girl who cried on my shoulder while I sat there trying not to fall apart with her.
and look what she's done. she's effectively ended any attatchment that I have with her. Yes she is still my cousin, but beyond that, I won't call her, talk to her, message her. She chose a boy over her family. And it's not like she had to chose one or the other, it's the fact that she revolves herself around him so completely that it doesn't make sense. she doesn't have her own life, she is molding her life to fit into his ideal.
Never in a million years did I ever think that she would be that person.
so yeah, I miss her and I miss the time that we would spend together. now it's over because when she heard I was in town she ignored me, and essenitally threw a fit when she learned that I was coming over to sleep over. My fucking family, throwing a fit because she doesn't want to see me? no. I'm absolutely done.
and when it's over, I won't be there for her. She can face whatever she has to face on her own. I can't handle this bull shit anymore.
so I started writing. I got the opening done. I want to extend it, put some more details in, and just all around make it a strong piece of writing. I want to be proud of it.
Alright, so I have this cousin and she started dating this guy around last summer, and ever since they have been together she has been ignoring everyone else in her life. she doesn't talk to me, not to katlin, not to her parents, she essenitally deserted her friends, and her entire lifes happiness depends on this one person. It's pretty fucked up to watch. It's even more fucked up that when she was in montreal a couple months ago she never called me to tell me that she was there.
every vacation that I took, I took it to go and see her and Katlin. I took days off, I didn't go on tropical holidays because I wanted to spend time withthe people, with the person, who knew me for who I really was. But she can't even call me to tell me that she is in my city? When I found that out, my heart clenched and I felt so betrayed. It hurt. And yeah, it still fucking hurts.
she cuts everyone out, and lets Liam run her fucking life. No, that's not right. I want him to cheat on her, or I want him to hurt her, so when she needs to go crying to someone,she sees that she has no one there for her. That's how I feel. I feel betrayed, alone and hurt.
She was my best friend, the person who I knew that I could tell anything to. The person who used to ask me for advice and I would sit there and listen to her about it.
This is the girl who sat there and told me about her friend that killed himself, and how she could have seen them together. This is the girl who cried on my shoulder while I sat there trying not to fall apart with her.
and look what she's done. she's effectively ended any attatchment that I have with her. Yes she is still my cousin, but beyond that, I won't call her, talk to her, message her. She chose a boy over her family. And it's not like she had to chose one or the other, it's the fact that she revolves herself around him so completely that it doesn't make sense. she doesn't have her own life, she is molding her life to fit into his ideal.
Never in a million years did I ever think that she would be that person.
so yeah, I miss her and I miss the time that we would spend together. now it's over because when she heard I was in town she ignored me, and essenitally threw a fit when she learned that I was coming over to sleep over. My fucking family, throwing a fit because she doesn't want to see me? no. I'm absolutely done.
and when it's over, I won't be there for her. She can face whatever she has to face on her own. I can't handle this bull shit anymore.