Self Reflection
I came upon a startling revelation this day, not everything I do will perfect on the first try. Major duh, I'm sure, but you'd be surprised how often I expect myself to be perfect on everything. I don't think most of friends are aware of the sense of inadequacy I get sometimes. I consciously realize that I am not inadequate, but all I have to do is see Mark on the dance floor and feel like the biggest reject ever. Or I see Mark and Toto being the cute couple they are and know that I am never going to have something like that. My problem is that I am all too aware of my shortcomings; I'm not attractive, not coordinated, my social skills need some work, all that jazz. So I try to overcompensate with the things I can do well, which leads to have unrealistic ideas what I can do. But yeah, I kinda hit me today that was not a good thing. I don't know if this insight will stick, but I am glad I had it today.
Please do not think that I am some whiny person, I did not write this feeling sorry for myself. I am just articulating what I feel in hopes to better understand myself. I realize that I am who I am and that I am cool with who I am (yes that does make sense). Actually, I do this in my head all the time, I have now decided to write this stuff done instead of talking to myself. I think this is healthier for me.
If anyone is reading this, have a nice da
Please do not think that I am some whiny person, I did not write this feeling sorry for myself. I am just articulating what I feel in hopes to better understand myself. I realize that I am who I am and that I am cool with who I am (yes that does make sense). Actually, I do this in my head all the time, I have now decided to write this stuff done instead of talking to myself. I think this is healthier for me.
If anyone is reading this, have a nice da