End of Obsession, Ch. 21
Title: The End of Obsession, Ch. 21
Author: juwel_fic
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 3747 words this chapter
Pairings/characters: Severus/Harry (main), also Severus/Lucius, Severus/Draco, past Voldemort/Severus and Voldemort/Lucius, hints of Draco/Harry
Summary: Snape has always been obsessed. Now that the war is over, it's time to get over that little obsession. In his path he finds it's not only Harry who has need of his . . . talents.
Warnings: dub con, bdsm, past abuse and rape, biting, blood, collars, breathplay, cutting, rimming.
Author's notes: The idea for this story was originally based on a request from venturous1 for harry_holidays with the request "how about Snape's first time, go as dark as you want to with it, including non-con; contrast with Harry's deflowering." The writing was delayed, however, due to schooling, and now it’s turned into this gigantic thing. Here's hoping for the UST and mind-blowing smut you asked for!
Disclaimer: The characters in this fiction are the property of J.K. Rowling. No money is being made from this and no trademark infringement is intended. This is purely for your reading pleasure.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm still plugging away at this! This was also a fairly long chapter, and if this continues, expect me to be updating once every two weeks, as I'm also working on other projects. And oh, more sex, yay!
Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
In the afterglow of sex, Severus lied beside Harry, one arm wrapped around the young man, and tried to organise his tumultuous thoughts into some semblance of order.
That had been . . . Severus feared there were few words to describe it. Amazing came close, because he had been amazed to find Harry that willing, that open. Frightening, as well. Because if Harry decided now that this . . . whatever they were playing at . . . this induction into the world of gay sexuality was anything less than he wanted, Severus had no illusions. Harry Potter could have anyone he wanted. He might be satisfied with a man twice his age of dubious social standing, no particular prospects, and less than average comeliness for the short term, but beyond that? There were no guarantees.
None of this was bad, per se--Severus hadn't even thought that he would ever have what they'd had this evening. To be able to see that look of pleasure on Harry's face, and know that he had caused it. Except . . . it was worse than bad. It was terrible.
Because now he wanted it all. Wanted Harry to be his. Forever.
Severus closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Harry's breathing. The young man had fallen asleep shortly after his second orgasm, which wasn't terribly surprising, particularly given the stress he must have endured through the day. For himself, Severus doubted he would sleep much, even if his body was crying out for it. There was tomorrow.
Tomorrow he would have to confront Lucius and retrieve his things, soon, before the man took it upon himself to hold them as a bargaining chip, or worse, destroy them. Tomorrow, Severus would also undoubtedly have to deal with the Ministry, to acknowledge that yes, he was alive, and could he please not be arrested immediately and return to his house and possessions? Tomorrow he would have to deal with all the people he had lied to and tricked, including of course all the faculty of Hogwarts, and in particular Minerva.
Tomorrow he would have to see if he had the courage to continue a love affair with the Boy Who Lived Twice.
Or more accurately, he would. He only wondered if his heart would survive if he failed.
***
Severus was on the floor, bound wrist and ankle, a collar around his neck. He was naked, but that wasn’t the worst of it-the worst was that there at the other end of his chain leash, holding all the power, were two figures, Harry and Lucius. Harry was dressed all in black, long robes that added height to his diminutive figure, and power. Lucius looked resplendent, in grey silk. And they both were smiling.
“Who holds the leash now, slave?” Lucius asked with a sneer, putting a protective arm around Harry.
Severus snarled, rearing up, wanting to strike them both, but the ropes held firm, leaving him rolling helplessly on the cold stone floor.
***
Severus awoke with a start, proving that he had indeed fallen asleep. The faint light of early morning permeated the room, but it wasn’t that which immediately focused his attention.
Harry was leaning over him, head propped on one arm, while his other hand was trailing lazy circles over Severus’s chest. He looked altogether too bloody cheerful and awake for whatever early time it was.
Yet Severus couldn't really dredge up the ire to glower at him properly. Part of that was because Harry had one leg draped over his body, his thigh brushing against Severus's cock, slowly bringing it to life. The other was that as soon as Harry saw that he was awake, he drew closer, kissing him.
The kiss was pure heaven, and Severus almost lost himself to it, feeling the nightmare and his dark thoughts from the night fading somewhat, although not altogether. Still, when the kiss ended, he found himself a bit breathless. He tried to scowl, but he suspected it looked more pouting than angry. "And what has you up at this unseemly hour?"
Harry looked positively cheerful. "I slept. I mean I actually slept, better than I think I have, uh, ever." He grinned. "I guess being fucked is a good way to chase away the nightmares."
Severus wasn't precisely sure how to respond to that--one, that evidently Harry had very much enjoyed the evening, but also that he typically did not sleep due to nightmares. Severus had a feeling he knew all too well what kinds of nightmares those might be. "I see. And so you saw fit to disturb my sleep as well."
Harry's smile faded, and Severus mentally cursed himself. He had to remember Harry was not the brash overconfident youth he'd thought he was in school, but rather the fragile survivor he'd seen the other night. Still, he couldn't help feeling a little grumpy. He was not looking forward to the inevitable confrontation with Lucius. "I'm sorry. I should have thought of that," Harry said, drawing back a little. "I just looked at you and--"
Before he could finish his sentence, Severus pulled Harry closer again, initiating the kiss this time, letting him know with actions that he wasn't nearly as put out as his words would suggest. He sucked on Harry's tongue until he heard the young man groan, then reluctantly broke off the kiss. "Ignore what I say. I'm particularly cross before I've had my coffee."
“Oh. Yeah, I can understand that,” Harry said, a little breathlessly. “Last night . . .” He blushed. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
That was disturbingly close to what Severus had thought about it, so he didn’t know what to say. He said nothing, afraid that he’d choose the wrong words, afraid that the moment would go away and not return. Harry licked his lips, looking nervous. “Do you have lessons today? I mean, with Draco, at the Manor.” There was a strange kind of expectation in his face, a shy hesitancy. Severus wondered at it.
“Yes,” he said, not wanting to elaborate further. Draco would likely have read about their little escapade from the night before. He wondered how the young man would react.
“All day?” Harry looked even more hesitant. Severus scowled, wondering what could be his issue.
“Yes-at least from ten until two in the afternoon.” Again, Severus was just trying to be honest. It didn’t seem either prudent or kind to provide extra details. He had to do what he had to do.
“Hmm,” Harry said, still biting his lip, and looking worried. “And I suppose . . . after that, you have to uh, take care of your things there. Where . . . where do you plan to live now?”
Now Severus knew Harry was fishing for something, though he dared not think--or hope--what. "Well, the logical place would be to return to my house at Spinner's End. I do wish to protect what few assets I have there." Given the events of the last forty-eight hours, he actually did not relish the idea of being alone. But it would hardly be fitting for him to slide into a room here at Harry's place after only a full day of knowing him. Sex was one thing, but he didn't even know if he would be able to tolerate being around the young man on a regular basis. He doubted Harry would favour the idea of a grouchy roommate as well.
And yet incredibly, Severus saw disappointment on Harry's face. "Oh--right. That makes sense." Harry was silent for a moment, but Severus knew his thoughts were agitated, because he could feel Harry's foot tapping against the mattress. He was about to force Harry to come out with it, when the young man spoke up again. "Would you--are you able to spend the night again?" He looked almost afraid of what Severus's answer would be.
Deeper and deeper into this, Severus thought, but he could not resist. He also recognised, as he had that first evening, that Harry needed this. That his mental and emotional well-being was still hanging by a thread. "I can stay the night, for as long as you need me to."
Harry's relief was almost palpable. "Thanks. I--" he began, and flushed, looking down. "I know I'm being a complete pain. Big bad wizarding hero, who's afraid of his own shadow." The corner of his mouth twitched, and it was not with humour, Severus reflected.
Severus reached out and gently brushed aside one of Harry's unruly locks of hair. "Not all show their fear through conventional ways, you should know. Some may show it through things like anger. Or cruelty." He held Harry's eyes, hoping the young man would get the message. He had lived with fear as a constant companion, for at least the last three years and Voldemort's return.
There was a glimmer of understanding in Harry's eyes. "I can't even imagine what that must've been like. I mean I could hear his thoughts. But at least I didn't have to actually pretend to follow him."
And Severus couldn’t imagine what it had been like to share Voldemort’s thoughts and see through his eyes. In some ways, he wasn’t sure which was worse. He let that be, however, focusing instead on the feel of Harry leaning up against him. “You had your own trials. Do not belittle yourself and call yourself a ‘pain.’ Nor a coward.” He let his finger trail down Harry’s bare chest, enjoying the way it made the young man shiver. Against his thigh, he could feel Harry starting to harden.
“Hoo, okay,” Harry breathed, rubbing up against him, almost catlike. “Which, you know, reminds me. You said last night you didn’t really enjoy, you know, bottoming, because it wasn’t really somebody you would have picked. It’s not my business, but-“
“No, it’s not your business. So don’t ask.” Severus could not help the scowl this time. If there was one thing he did not want to admit to, it was the humiliation that Voldemort had put on him.
He could see Harry warring with himself. “Right-I-“ Harry grimaced, looking frustrated. “Just-“ He huffed out a sigh. “I’d like to know. Maybe not today. But I’d like to know.” A scheming look came into his eyes, and Harry trailed his own hand down Severus’s chest, past his stomach, right down to his cock. “I had an idea for this morning. Before you go to the Malfoys, I mean.”
Severus arched a brow at him, curious. "Go on."
Harry blushed deeply. "I want to give you pleasure--I mean I want to suck your cock. But . . ." He pressed his lips together, looking nervous. "If you don't mind, I'd like to try it in the shower. I mean, we both need showers, right?"
It was refreshing, having such an inexperienced lover, Severus thought to himself. Knowing that each thing they did, each thing they tried, was Harry's first time . . . it was exhilarating, and more precious than Severus cared to admit. In light of that, the shower stipulation made perfect sense; actually, he was surprised that Harry was already ready to try something like it. "Indeed we do. And yes, you may." He glanced at the clock. "If you do not wish the Malfoy House Elf to interrupt us again, we might want to head there now." He for one did not wish Lucius to have any more intimate knowledge of him than was absolutely unavoidable.
"Yes--good idea," Harry said, climbing off of Severus but staying near as Severus stood up, near enough that their legs were brushing together.
Following instinct, Severus found himself taking Harry by the arms, pushing him back towards the door, but when they reached the door, instead of going through, he pressed Harry against the doorframe. There was just something so satisfying about having the young man trapped and helpless. It could be Harry's smaller stature and lean frame. But also, Severus suspected the enjoyment he received out of was the fact that Harry really seemed to enjoy it as well. He leaned in, kissing Harry until the two of them were hard and breathless, Severus's hips pinning Harry's. Harry groaned. "I really like that."
Severus found himself smiling, something he seemed to be doing more often in the young man’s presence. “I know.” His lips brushed against Harry’s ear as he added in a near whisper, “Oh, the things I will do to you.” A promise, as well as a threat.
He allowed Harry then to lead him towards the shower, and once they were inside, he watched as Harry turned on the water. As they waited for the water to warm up, Severus couldn’t resist trying one other thing, running a finger down Harry’s back, scratching him with his short fingernails. Harry shivered most deliciously, and Severus had to add one more quality he enjoyed about the young man. Harry was extremely sensitive.
"Go ahead and wash yourself," Severus told Harry once the water was warm. Harry gave him a questioning look, but stepped into the shower obediently, grabbing a washrag to begin soaping up. Severus allowed himself the indulgence of letting his gaze travel up and down the young athletic build, admiringly. "On occasion, I like to watch," he explained, and was further granted the pleasure of seeing Harry blush.
"Oh," Harry said, as he began washing his hair. He had to close his eyes as he rinsed out the soap, and Severus was tempted to reach out and touch the bubbles travelling over firm flesh, but he resisted, letting his interest only show in his aroused state. Once Harry was done rinsing off, Severus stepped into the shower.
Immediately, Harry's hands were on him, as Harry set to washing him off as well, more thoroughly and with greater enthusiasm than Severus could possibly have directed. Severus allowed a groan to escape at the feel of Harry's hands in his hair, working in a good lather and massaging his scalp. The shower stall was not overly large, forcing them to stand close together under the warm spray of water. "This was a lovely idea," Severus murmured, tilting his head back to let the water rinse out the soap.
"Yeah," Harry agreed, rubbing up against him as he started to wash Severus's chest and arms with a washcloth. He was blushing, but he also appeared to be enjoying their little chore of washing. "This is so weird. I mean it's good--really good. I just never imagined . . . you know. Us." He knelt down, working on lathering Severus's legs from the ankle up, avoiding his buttocks and cock. As Harry's hand brushed up the inside of Severus's thigh, however, his cock gave a jerk. Harry licked his lips.
Severus tried not to think about where this particular moment was heading, tried to keep his mind on the actual conversation, because he had a feeling it was important. However, with Harry's hands all over him, it wasn't an easy task. "I imagine not, considering what our association in the past was like." He groaned as Harry leaned in closer, his hands moving over Severus's arse, gently sudsing him. "You know, I won't break."
"I--yeah," Harry murmured, blushing harder, but his touches did become firmer, more sure. "I just don't really know what I'm doing yet." He rinsed off the parts he had soaped early, his hands roaming over Severus’s skin, slick with water and soap, remaining in his kneeling position. "Like this," he added, finally bringing his soapy hands to Severus's cock, stroking him as he washed him, going over balls, up his scrotum, and then even higher still, washing the thick patch of hair. Severus sucked in a breath. He had never had anyone pay him as much attention before.
“You’re doing . . . quite well, considering,” Severus said in a low voice. He didn’t assist, but let Harry do all the work, finally rinsing off all the soap and leaving him in more want than ever. “Clean enough for your standards?” He couldn’t help the touch of amusement in his voice.
“Yeah,” Harry said, still touching Severus, hands roaming over his thighs, back to his cock, stroking it slowly again. He looked up at Severus hesitantly, and it was almost painfully sweet, the look in his sparkling green eyes. Then slowly, he brought his mouth close to the head of Severus cock. Severus had to hold himself still against the urging to take hold of some of that thick unruly hair, to thrust forward. Ever so gently, Harry brushed his lips across the slit. Severus’s hands clenched into fists.
Harry looked up again. Whatever he saw seemed to bolster his courage; shifting his weight a little, he opened his mouth, and it was his tongue that next brushed the sensitive skin, running a line up the underside of the shaft to the head. Severus groaned, unable to take his eyes off Harry, unable to move. Harry licked again, then laughed a little to himself. “And here I was worried. Just tastes like skin.” He opened his mouth wider, finally taking the head into his mouth, sucking experimentally.
Severus wasn’t sure he trusted his voice, but he had to reply. “Well it’s certainly not a lolly.” Harry’s chuckle sent a delicious vibration up his nerves. Severus groaned again, having serious doubts about how long he could remain standing still. “You can stroke me at the same time, if you don’t want to take things deeper.” He desperately needed something at this point.
Briefly, Harry drew back. “I don’t think I could take you all the way down. You’re not exactly little, you know.” He returned to sucking, a little harder, taking more in as his hand started to gently stroke. Severus swore he was going to go mad.
“There are spells to assist,” Severus, said, and then he could hold back no longer. “Harry, treat me like you would treat yourself. A little more speed, Please.” The young man had no idea how rarely he said that word, but this was becoming intolerable.
Harry made a curious noise, and Severus knew he'd be asking questions later about those spells. But thankfully, for now he seemed engrossed in his efforts. He began stroking harder and faster, mouth still focused on the head, but Severus hardly cared. Being able to look down, to see Harry's flushed cheeks and those red lips wrapped around him . . . that was what Severus had dreamed about, in countless fantasies. Now that it was a reality, he knew he wasn't going to last very long.
"I'm close, Harry," Severus warned him, in case Harry was squeamish about semen. Rather than showing any hesitancy, however, Harry redoubled his efforts, and Severus had to reach out to press a hand against the tiled wall, the sensations of hot water cascading over him only adding to the pleasure of Harry's hand and mouth.
If Severus wished for a confirmation from Harry that it was all right to come undone, all right to come, he quickly came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to have that in time. Harry fisted him, stroking quickly and firmly, tongue lapping at the slit until Severus's vision greyed out as the first wave hit him. He moaned loudly, hips jerking in an effort to keep still as his senses were flooded.
At the first spurt, Harry choked a little, pulling back in surprise, so that the second hit him in the chest. He came back closer for the third, however, letting it land on his tongue, as his fist squeezed the last of it from Severus’s cock. Severus groaned loudly, both at the sight of it as well as the feel. The water soon washed away anything that was missed, and Harry stood up, looking pleased with himself.
Severus supposed the young man was looking for some praise, and probably also a return of some kind, but at the moment it was about all he could do to stand, even though the water was starting to grow cold. “I’m not kneeling on this hard tile,” he told Harry, but then he pulled Harry in roughly, kissing him, tasting himself as his hands, slid down Harry’s back to squeeze and massage his arse. A sharp intake of breath told Severus that either Harry really enjoyed the attention, or that he was sore. Most likely both.
Harry surprised him, nipping hard at Severus’s bottom lip, squirming against him. “Don’t care. Just touch me, please,” he pleaded, reaching back to grab one of Severus’s hands and bringing it to his cock. Severus needed no further coaxing; he wrapped his hand around the hard length, and began pumping hard and fast, growling and nipping back as their kisses became urgent.
"Want teeth--bite--" Harry gasped, tilting his head to give Severus access to his throat. Severus was hardly going to pass up an invitation like that; with a snarl, he dragged his teeth down the smooth column, finding a good place, and then biting down hard. Harry raked short but sharp nails down his back, whining, and then he was crying out, bucking against Severus's hand, coming. Severus stroked him until he was certain the orgasm was over, and they stood clinging to one another in a tepid spray. Severus made sure Harry was cleaned off, then turned off the water.
He didn't want to speak, but he also did not want to stand there shivering, so Severus reached for a towel, drawing it around Harry's shoulders. "You do realise that this is going to make things difficult for me to concentrate today," Severus drawled, keeping his tone purposefully lighter than usual so that Harry would not misunderstand. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of day in Harry's bed. "I may have to request weekends off." He smirked.
Harry chuckled, face still pressed against Severus's throat. Regrettably, Severus had to disentangle the two of them in order to retrieve his own towel. "Just . . . hurry back, as soon as you can," Harry replied. Severus was not used to seeing Harry like this. Vulnerable. Again, it touched parts of him that he wasn't sure he wanted touched.
"I shall endeavour to do so," Severus replied.
***
Chapter Twenty-Two
Author: juwel_fic
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 3747 words this chapter
Pairings/characters: Severus/Harry (main), also Severus/Lucius, Severus/Draco, past Voldemort/Severus and Voldemort/Lucius, hints of Draco/Harry
Summary: Snape has always been obsessed. Now that the war is over, it's time to get over that little obsession. In his path he finds it's not only Harry who has need of his . . . talents.
Warnings: dub con, bdsm, past abuse and rape, biting, blood, collars, breathplay, cutting, rimming.
Author's notes: The idea for this story was originally based on a request from venturous1 for harry_holidays with the request "how about Snape's first time, go as dark as you want to with it, including non-con; contrast with Harry's deflowering." The writing was delayed, however, due to schooling, and now it’s turned into this gigantic thing. Here's hoping for the UST and mind-blowing smut you asked for!
Disclaimer: The characters in this fiction are the property of J.K. Rowling. No money is being made from this and no trademark infringement is intended. This is purely for your reading pleasure.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm still plugging away at this! This was also a fairly long chapter, and if this continues, expect me to be updating once every two weeks, as I'm also working on other projects. And oh, more sex, yay!
Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
In the afterglow of sex, Severus lied beside Harry, one arm wrapped around the young man, and tried to organise his tumultuous thoughts into some semblance of order.
That had been . . . Severus feared there were few words to describe it. Amazing came close, because he had been amazed to find Harry that willing, that open. Frightening, as well. Because if Harry decided now that this . . . whatever they were playing at . . . this induction into the world of gay sexuality was anything less than he wanted, Severus had no illusions. Harry Potter could have anyone he wanted. He might be satisfied with a man twice his age of dubious social standing, no particular prospects, and less than average comeliness for the short term, but beyond that? There were no guarantees.
None of this was bad, per se--Severus hadn't even thought that he would ever have what they'd had this evening. To be able to see that look of pleasure on Harry's face, and know that he had caused it. Except . . . it was worse than bad. It was terrible.
Because now he wanted it all. Wanted Harry to be his. Forever.
Severus closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Harry's breathing. The young man had fallen asleep shortly after his second orgasm, which wasn't terribly surprising, particularly given the stress he must have endured through the day. For himself, Severus doubted he would sleep much, even if his body was crying out for it. There was tomorrow.
Tomorrow he would have to confront Lucius and retrieve his things, soon, before the man took it upon himself to hold them as a bargaining chip, or worse, destroy them. Tomorrow, Severus would also undoubtedly have to deal with the Ministry, to acknowledge that yes, he was alive, and could he please not be arrested immediately and return to his house and possessions? Tomorrow he would have to deal with all the people he had lied to and tricked, including of course all the faculty of Hogwarts, and in particular Minerva.
Tomorrow he would have to see if he had the courage to continue a love affair with the Boy Who Lived Twice.
Or more accurately, he would. He only wondered if his heart would survive if he failed.
***
Severus was on the floor, bound wrist and ankle, a collar around his neck. He was naked, but that wasn’t the worst of it-the worst was that there at the other end of his chain leash, holding all the power, were two figures, Harry and Lucius. Harry was dressed all in black, long robes that added height to his diminutive figure, and power. Lucius looked resplendent, in grey silk. And they both were smiling.
“Who holds the leash now, slave?” Lucius asked with a sneer, putting a protective arm around Harry.
Severus snarled, rearing up, wanting to strike them both, but the ropes held firm, leaving him rolling helplessly on the cold stone floor.
***
Severus awoke with a start, proving that he had indeed fallen asleep. The faint light of early morning permeated the room, but it wasn’t that which immediately focused his attention.
Harry was leaning over him, head propped on one arm, while his other hand was trailing lazy circles over Severus’s chest. He looked altogether too bloody cheerful and awake for whatever early time it was.
Yet Severus couldn't really dredge up the ire to glower at him properly. Part of that was because Harry had one leg draped over his body, his thigh brushing against Severus's cock, slowly bringing it to life. The other was that as soon as Harry saw that he was awake, he drew closer, kissing him.
The kiss was pure heaven, and Severus almost lost himself to it, feeling the nightmare and his dark thoughts from the night fading somewhat, although not altogether. Still, when the kiss ended, he found himself a bit breathless. He tried to scowl, but he suspected it looked more pouting than angry. "And what has you up at this unseemly hour?"
Harry looked positively cheerful. "I slept. I mean I actually slept, better than I think I have, uh, ever." He grinned. "I guess being fucked is a good way to chase away the nightmares."
Severus wasn't precisely sure how to respond to that--one, that evidently Harry had very much enjoyed the evening, but also that he typically did not sleep due to nightmares. Severus had a feeling he knew all too well what kinds of nightmares those might be. "I see. And so you saw fit to disturb my sleep as well."
Harry's smile faded, and Severus mentally cursed himself. He had to remember Harry was not the brash overconfident youth he'd thought he was in school, but rather the fragile survivor he'd seen the other night. Still, he couldn't help feeling a little grumpy. He was not looking forward to the inevitable confrontation with Lucius. "I'm sorry. I should have thought of that," Harry said, drawing back a little. "I just looked at you and--"
Before he could finish his sentence, Severus pulled Harry closer again, initiating the kiss this time, letting him know with actions that he wasn't nearly as put out as his words would suggest. He sucked on Harry's tongue until he heard the young man groan, then reluctantly broke off the kiss. "Ignore what I say. I'm particularly cross before I've had my coffee."
“Oh. Yeah, I can understand that,” Harry said, a little breathlessly. “Last night . . .” He blushed. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
That was disturbingly close to what Severus had thought about it, so he didn’t know what to say. He said nothing, afraid that he’d choose the wrong words, afraid that the moment would go away and not return. Harry licked his lips, looking nervous. “Do you have lessons today? I mean, with Draco, at the Manor.” There was a strange kind of expectation in his face, a shy hesitancy. Severus wondered at it.
“Yes,” he said, not wanting to elaborate further. Draco would likely have read about their little escapade from the night before. He wondered how the young man would react.
“All day?” Harry looked even more hesitant. Severus scowled, wondering what could be his issue.
“Yes-at least from ten until two in the afternoon.” Again, Severus was just trying to be honest. It didn’t seem either prudent or kind to provide extra details. He had to do what he had to do.
“Hmm,” Harry said, still biting his lip, and looking worried. “And I suppose . . . after that, you have to uh, take care of your things there. Where . . . where do you plan to live now?”
Now Severus knew Harry was fishing for something, though he dared not think--or hope--what. "Well, the logical place would be to return to my house at Spinner's End. I do wish to protect what few assets I have there." Given the events of the last forty-eight hours, he actually did not relish the idea of being alone. But it would hardly be fitting for him to slide into a room here at Harry's place after only a full day of knowing him. Sex was one thing, but he didn't even know if he would be able to tolerate being around the young man on a regular basis. He doubted Harry would favour the idea of a grouchy roommate as well.
And yet incredibly, Severus saw disappointment on Harry's face. "Oh--right. That makes sense." Harry was silent for a moment, but Severus knew his thoughts were agitated, because he could feel Harry's foot tapping against the mattress. He was about to force Harry to come out with it, when the young man spoke up again. "Would you--are you able to spend the night again?" He looked almost afraid of what Severus's answer would be.
Deeper and deeper into this, Severus thought, but he could not resist. He also recognised, as he had that first evening, that Harry needed this. That his mental and emotional well-being was still hanging by a thread. "I can stay the night, for as long as you need me to."
Harry's relief was almost palpable. "Thanks. I--" he began, and flushed, looking down. "I know I'm being a complete pain. Big bad wizarding hero, who's afraid of his own shadow." The corner of his mouth twitched, and it was not with humour, Severus reflected.
Severus reached out and gently brushed aside one of Harry's unruly locks of hair. "Not all show their fear through conventional ways, you should know. Some may show it through things like anger. Or cruelty." He held Harry's eyes, hoping the young man would get the message. He had lived with fear as a constant companion, for at least the last three years and Voldemort's return.
There was a glimmer of understanding in Harry's eyes. "I can't even imagine what that must've been like. I mean I could hear his thoughts. But at least I didn't have to actually pretend to follow him."
And Severus couldn’t imagine what it had been like to share Voldemort’s thoughts and see through his eyes. In some ways, he wasn’t sure which was worse. He let that be, however, focusing instead on the feel of Harry leaning up against him. “You had your own trials. Do not belittle yourself and call yourself a ‘pain.’ Nor a coward.” He let his finger trail down Harry’s bare chest, enjoying the way it made the young man shiver. Against his thigh, he could feel Harry starting to harden.
“Hoo, okay,” Harry breathed, rubbing up against him, almost catlike. “Which, you know, reminds me. You said last night you didn’t really enjoy, you know, bottoming, because it wasn’t really somebody you would have picked. It’s not my business, but-“
“No, it’s not your business. So don’t ask.” Severus could not help the scowl this time. If there was one thing he did not want to admit to, it was the humiliation that Voldemort had put on him.
He could see Harry warring with himself. “Right-I-“ Harry grimaced, looking frustrated. “Just-“ He huffed out a sigh. “I’d like to know. Maybe not today. But I’d like to know.” A scheming look came into his eyes, and Harry trailed his own hand down Severus’s chest, past his stomach, right down to his cock. “I had an idea for this morning. Before you go to the Malfoys, I mean.”
Severus arched a brow at him, curious. "Go on."
Harry blushed deeply. "I want to give you pleasure--I mean I want to suck your cock. But . . ." He pressed his lips together, looking nervous. "If you don't mind, I'd like to try it in the shower. I mean, we both need showers, right?"
It was refreshing, having such an inexperienced lover, Severus thought to himself. Knowing that each thing they did, each thing they tried, was Harry's first time . . . it was exhilarating, and more precious than Severus cared to admit. In light of that, the shower stipulation made perfect sense; actually, he was surprised that Harry was already ready to try something like it. "Indeed we do. And yes, you may." He glanced at the clock. "If you do not wish the Malfoy House Elf to interrupt us again, we might want to head there now." He for one did not wish Lucius to have any more intimate knowledge of him than was absolutely unavoidable.
"Yes--good idea," Harry said, climbing off of Severus but staying near as Severus stood up, near enough that their legs were brushing together.
Following instinct, Severus found himself taking Harry by the arms, pushing him back towards the door, but when they reached the door, instead of going through, he pressed Harry against the doorframe. There was just something so satisfying about having the young man trapped and helpless. It could be Harry's smaller stature and lean frame. But also, Severus suspected the enjoyment he received out of was the fact that Harry really seemed to enjoy it as well. He leaned in, kissing Harry until the two of them were hard and breathless, Severus's hips pinning Harry's. Harry groaned. "I really like that."
Severus found himself smiling, something he seemed to be doing more often in the young man’s presence. “I know.” His lips brushed against Harry’s ear as he added in a near whisper, “Oh, the things I will do to you.” A promise, as well as a threat.
He allowed Harry then to lead him towards the shower, and once they were inside, he watched as Harry turned on the water. As they waited for the water to warm up, Severus couldn’t resist trying one other thing, running a finger down Harry’s back, scratching him with his short fingernails. Harry shivered most deliciously, and Severus had to add one more quality he enjoyed about the young man. Harry was extremely sensitive.
"Go ahead and wash yourself," Severus told Harry once the water was warm. Harry gave him a questioning look, but stepped into the shower obediently, grabbing a washrag to begin soaping up. Severus allowed himself the indulgence of letting his gaze travel up and down the young athletic build, admiringly. "On occasion, I like to watch," he explained, and was further granted the pleasure of seeing Harry blush.
"Oh," Harry said, as he began washing his hair. He had to close his eyes as he rinsed out the soap, and Severus was tempted to reach out and touch the bubbles travelling over firm flesh, but he resisted, letting his interest only show in his aroused state. Once Harry was done rinsing off, Severus stepped into the shower.
Immediately, Harry's hands were on him, as Harry set to washing him off as well, more thoroughly and with greater enthusiasm than Severus could possibly have directed. Severus allowed a groan to escape at the feel of Harry's hands in his hair, working in a good lather and massaging his scalp. The shower stall was not overly large, forcing them to stand close together under the warm spray of water. "This was a lovely idea," Severus murmured, tilting his head back to let the water rinse out the soap.
"Yeah," Harry agreed, rubbing up against him as he started to wash Severus's chest and arms with a washcloth. He was blushing, but he also appeared to be enjoying their little chore of washing. "This is so weird. I mean it's good--really good. I just never imagined . . . you know. Us." He knelt down, working on lathering Severus's legs from the ankle up, avoiding his buttocks and cock. As Harry's hand brushed up the inside of Severus's thigh, however, his cock gave a jerk. Harry licked his lips.
Severus tried not to think about where this particular moment was heading, tried to keep his mind on the actual conversation, because he had a feeling it was important. However, with Harry's hands all over him, it wasn't an easy task. "I imagine not, considering what our association in the past was like." He groaned as Harry leaned in closer, his hands moving over Severus's arse, gently sudsing him. "You know, I won't break."
"I--yeah," Harry murmured, blushing harder, but his touches did become firmer, more sure. "I just don't really know what I'm doing yet." He rinsed off the parts he had soaped early, his hands roaming over Severus’s skin, slick with water and soap, remaining in his kneeling position. "Like this," he added, finally bringing his soapy hands to Severus's cock, stroking him as he washed him, going over balls, up his scrotum, and then even higher still, washing the thick patch of hair. Severus sucked in a breath. He had never had anyone pay him as much attention before.
“You’re doing . . . quite well, considering,” Severus said in a low voice. He didn’t assist, but let Harry do all the work, finally rinsing off all the soap and leaving him in more want than ever. “Clean enough for your standards?” He couldn’t help the touch of amusement in his voice.
“Yeah,” Harry said, still touching Severus, hands roaming over his thighs, back to his cock, stroking it slowly again. He looked up at Severus hesitantly, and it was almost painfully sweet, the look in his sparkling green eyes. Then slowly, he brought his mouth close to the head of Severus cock. Severus had to hold himself still against the urging to take hold of some of that thick unruly hair, to thrust forward. Ever so gently, Harry brushed his lips across the slit. Severus’s hands clenched into fists.
Harry looked up again. Whatever he saw seemed to bolster his courage; shifting his weight a little, he opened his mouth, and it was his tongue that next brushed the sensitive skin, running a line up the underside of the shaft to the head. Severus groaned, unable to take his eyes off Harry, unable to move. Harry licked again, then laughed a little to himself. “And here I was worried. Just tastes like skin.” He opened his mouth wider, finally taking the head into his mouth, sucking experimentally.
Severus wasn’t sure he trusted his voice, but he had to reply. “Well it’s certainly not a lolly.” Harry’s chuckle sent a delicious vibration up his nerves. Severus groaned again, having serious doubts about how long he could remain standing still. “You can stroke me at the same time, if you don’t want to take things deeper.” He desperately needed something at this point.
Briefly, Harry drew back. “I don’t think I could take you all the way down. You’re not exactly little, you know.” He returned to sucking, a little harder, taking more in as his hand started to gently stroke. Severus swore he was going to go mad.
“There are spells to assist,” Severus, said, and then he could hold back no longer. “Harry, treat me like you would treat yourself. A little more speed, Please.” The young man had no idea how rarely he said that word, but this was becoming intolerable.
Harry made a curious noise, and Severus knew he'd be asking questions later about those spells. But thankfully, for now he seemed engrossed in his efforts. He began stroking harder and faster, mouth still focused on the head, but Severus hardly cared. Being able to look down, to see Harry's flushed cheeks and those red lips wrapped around him . . . that was what Severus had dreamed about, in countless fantasies. Now that it was a reality, he knew he wasn't going to last very long.
"I'm close, Harry," Severus warned him, in case Harry was squeamish about semen. Rather than showing any hesitancy, however, Harry redoubled his efforts, and Severus had to reach out to press a hand against the tiled wall, the sensations of hot water cascading over him only adding to the pleasure of Harry's hand and mouth.
If Severus wished for a confirmation from Harry that it was all right to come undone, all right to come, he quickly came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to have that in time. Harry fisted him, stroking quickly and firmly, tongue lapping at the slit until Severus's vision greyed out as the first wave hit him. He moaned loudly, hips jerking in an effort to keep still as his senses were flooded.
At the first spurt, Harry choked a little, pulling back in surprise, so that the second hit him in the chest. He came back closer for the third, however, letting it land on his tongue, as his fist squeezed the last of it from Severus’s cock. Severus groaned loudly, both at the sight of it as well as the feel. The water soon washed away anything that was missed, and Harry stood up, looking pleased with himself.
Severus supposed the young man was looking for some praise, and probably also a return of some kind, but at the moment it was about all he could do to stand, even though the water was starting to grow cold. “I’m not kneeling on this hard tile,” he told Harry, but then he pulled Harry in roughly, kissing him, tasting himself as his hands, slid down Harry’s back to squeeze and massage his arse. A sharp intake of breath told Severus that either Harry really enjoyed the attention, or that he was sore. Most likely both.
Harry surprised him, nipping hard at Severus’s bottom lip, squirming against him. “Don’t care. Just touch me, please,” he pleaded, reaching back to grab one of Severus’s hands and bringing it to his cock. Severus needed no further coaxing; he wrapped his hand around the hard length, and began pumping hard and fast, growling and nipping back as their kisses became urgent.
"Want teeth--bite--" Harry gasped, tilting his head to give Severus access to his throat. Severus was hardly going to pass up an invitation like that; with a snarl, he dragged his teeth down the smooth column, finding a good place, and then biting down hard. Harry raked short but sharp nails down his back, whining, and then he was crying out, bucking against Severus's hand, coming. Severus stroked him until he was certain the orgasm was over, and they stood clinging to one another in a tepid spray. Severus made sure Harry was cleaned off, then turned off the water.
He didn't want to speak, but he also did not want to stand there shivering, so Severus reached for a towel, drawing it around Harry's shoulders. "You do realise that this is going to make things difficult for me to concentrate today," Severus drawled, keeping his tone purposefully lighter than usual so that Harry would not misunderstand. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of day in Harry's bed. "I may have to request weekends off." He smirked.
Harry chuckled, face still pressed against Severus's throat. Regrettably, Severus had to disentangle the two of them in order to retrieve his own towel. "Just . . . hurry back, as soon as you can," Harry replied. Severus was not used to seeing Harry like this. Vulnerable. Again, it touched parts of him that he wasn't sure he wanted touched.
"I shall endeavour to do so," Severus replied.
***
Chapter Twenty-Two