balance protection.
things can get so confusing sometimes. i know that life wasn't meant to be easy or smooth, but things can get entirely out of wack for stupid reasons sometimes. my family is so messed up - you don't even know the half of it. we live under the poverty level, which means we can't afford this house or any thing in it. my dad just barely scrapes by with a line of credit, overdraft protection, and credit cards. he tries his best to pay all of these bills off in time. there's just too many. i see his efforts, but he really fails at being a decent humanbeing. he can be so fucking impossible to mariel and i. mind you, my sister is nuts.
...the point is, i need out of this house really bad. i need to live on my own in the very near future. most people move out around my age, anyway. (if not sooner.) however, most 19 yr olds have graduated highschool and are going to college with full time jobs. i don't have that kind of money. i have a bit saved, but not very much at all. i don't want to have to stop school again after this term, but it looks as though it's in the cards. i'd be suffering huge if i stayed here.
i've made some really lame decisions in my life. i guess this is just my time to pay for them.
xo.
...i can't wait to see you today.
...the point is, i need out of this house really bad. i need to live on my own in the very near future. most people move out around my age, anyway. (if not sooner.) however, most 19 yr olds have graduated highschool and are going to college with full time jobs. i don't have that kind of money. i have a bit saved, but not very much at all. i don't want to have to stop school again after this term, but it looks as though it's in the cards. i'd be suffering huge if i stayed here.
i've made some really lame decisions in my life. i guess this is just my time to pay for them.
xo.
...i can't wait to see you today.