Sea Change?
I'm actually writing something without a video or a picture. Funny for me, since I do like posting a lot of pictures and videos. But, I've doing a lot of thinking lately and meditating on things. For me, this is a good thing, because it lets me sort out and file my thoughts; and make a course of action. Action is good.
I believe that 2010 has been another transitional year for me. I know it isn't over yet (even though, we are close to the Pagan new year), but, it feels that way to me. Watching the patterns of my life, I seem to have one every five years. Last time it was 2005. My grandmother and uncle had passed. My father was a victim of a stroke and hasn't been the same since. I was considering getting serious with my Ex at the time. It was a big year in my life and it has changed me as a person. 2010 hasn't been that big, though, but it has been a year for deep changes for me. Whether it be something like being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia or moving, or working/stopping on the novel. It's been one of those years for me. And it's sometimes a good thing, sometimes a bad thing, but it was one of those things that makes you different. If I saw my sixteen year old self right now, we would be two very different people. I don't even know what I would have said to sixteen year old me.
This year has just made me consider a lot as a woman, as a writer, a Pagan, and all the other labels I attach to myself. I know there's all kinds of speeches about labels but everyone does have a label. It's up to you define what it means. I've been trying to play the responsible adult. I'm trying to take better care of myself and know that I have limits. I've really been thinking of the value of my own creative work. I have been making actual considerations, working even harder to publish, pushing myself even harder, even though I'm not doing literal pushing. I'm thinking about my own morals, my own spirituality, my own being and what kind of impact am I making on my own life and the lives of people in my life. I feel ancient. I feel like I'm in my nineties, but it's also oddly liberating.
I've put my novel to rest. I'm not doing NaNoWrimo. Yeah, I was thinking of doing it but, I think that I want to work on something that would be more productive to me, and more fulfilling. I've been cleaning up stories, working on essays, and yes, poetry. I've really been drawn to poetry, as said before. But, all of this put together, it fits in with my desires and my own train of thought.
So, this is just what I've been thinking about.
I believe that 2010 has been another transitional year for me. I know it isn't over yet (even though, we are close to the Pagan new year), but, it feels that way to me. Watching the patterns of my life, I seem to have one every five years. Last time it was 2005. My grandmother and uncle had passed. My father was a victim of a stroke and hasn't been the same since. I was considering getting serious with my Ex at the time. It was a big year in my life and it has changed me as a person. 2010 hasn't been that big, though, but it has been a year for deep changes for me. Whether it be something like being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia or moving, or working/stopping on the novel. It's been one of those years for me. And it's sometimes a good thing, sometimes a bad thing, but it was one of those things that makes you different. If I saw my sixteen year old self right now, we would be two very different people. I don't even know what I would have said to sixteen year old me.
This year has just made me consider a lot as a woman, as a writer, a Pagan, and all the other labels I attach to myself. I know there's all kinds of speeches about labels but everyone does have a label. It's up to you define what it means. I've been trying to play the responsible adult. I'm trying to take better care of myself and know that I have limits. I've really been thinking of the value of my own creative work. I have been making actual considerations, working even harder to publish, pushing myself even harder, even though I'm not doing literal pushing. I'm thinking about my own morals, my own spirituality, my own being and what kind of impact am I making on my own life and the lives of people in my life. I feel ancient. I feel like I'm in my nineties, but it's also oddly liberating.
I've put my novel to rest. I'm not doing NaNoWrimo. Yeah, I was thinking of doing it but, I think that I want to work on something that would be more productive to me, and more fulfilling. I've been cleaning up stories, working on essays, and yes, poetry. I've really been drawn to poetry, as said before. But, all of this put together, it fits in with my desires and my own train of thought.
So, this is just what I've been thinking about.