hope this made sense.
ok, this is ridiculous, but i've been thinking about it and... i don't feel like busting out a piece of paper and a pen, so here is goes.
if i were to be hit by a car and suffer some crazy ass brain damage, how severe would it have to be for me to not want to live? that's a tough question. i would hope that it wouldn't come to the point where i couldn't communicate my wishes when i was in that position, but if that was the case, i don't think i'd want to be kept alive like that. if i was stuck in a coma for a while, but there was hope for me coming out of it and retaining at least somewhat of a normal life when i woke up, then yeah, i'd like to give it a shot... but if i couldn't talk, walk, see, or generally be aware of what was going on around me, then no.. there's no point and i'm not really afraid of dying and i hope that other people wouldn't be scared to let me go. even if i was awake and stuck in a vegitative state, i wouldn't want to be like that... i'm not just talking about being unconcious forever. if i was aware on some level that i can't understand right now, i think it would be entirely too frustrating to not be able to control myself or make people understand what i want and need. i wouldn't want to live like that. that's not living. if the only real problem was that i was hooked up to a feeding tube then i'm totally cool with that... i guess my point is that as long as i would be able to function on a level where i could communicate and be able to participate in my life then i'm all for having measures taken so that i can continue to live. i don't want to live passively with people taking care of my every need for the rest of my life.
if i were to have a heart attack or a stroke of course i'd want to explore all of the options to see if i'd be able to live normally afterwards, so i don't think that a DNR is something that i'm interested right now. but if i would just continue to be hooked up to breathing machines, and have to have my heart started over and over again, then i think that it's reasonable to say that i wouldn't want to be ressusitated again. having a stroke is one of my biggest fears. if it was the opinion of the doctors that i wouldn't be able to regain most of my functions, and there was still a way to let me die... SERIOUSLY let me die. i don't want to be stuck in my brain forever. i don't want to be paralyzed and without speech. i know that i would be angry and depressed for a long long time. i know that miracles happen in medicine every day, and that when and if something does happen to me any point that i would make now could be moot because they'd have solved any issues that i'm concerned about, but right now these are the things i know about and i know how i *wouldn't* want to live.
watching that poor woman stare blankly into space, and we can't tell if she really knows what's going on and half the people say she does, and half the people say she doesn't... it's just terrible. i can't believe that her parents would want to hang on to her like that knowing that she could be in terrible physical pain, or even on a basic level some mental anguish. we just can't tell... that's pretty awful. even if no one ever reads this, i would hope that my family would be willing to allow me to go when they know that there's no hope for me to come back. i believe that my life is worth fighting for, but there's a point when it becomes an act of futility, and i'm not for that at all. besides, they said that they'll give her morphine while she's being deprived of water and food, and we all know that i'm all for going out being pumped full of opiates.
maybe this seems a little morbid, but it's something that's been on my mind.
if i were to be hit by a car and suffer some crazy ass brain damage, how severe would it have to be for me to not want to live? that's a tough question. i would hope that it wouldn't come to the point where i couldn't communicate my wishes when i was in that position, but if that was the case, i don't think i'd want to be kept alive like that. if i was stuck in a coma for a while, but there was hope for me coming out of it and retaining at least somewhat of a normal life when i woke up, then yeah, i'd like to give it a shot... but if i couldn't talk, walk, see, or generally be aware of what was going on around me, then no.. there's no point and i'm not really afraid of dying and i hope that other people wouldn't be scared to let me go. even if i was awake and stuck in a vegitative state, i wouldn't want to be like that... i'm not just talking about being unconcious forever. if i was aware on some level that i can't understand right now, i think it would be entirely too frustrating to not be able to control myself or make people understand what i want and need. i wouldn't want to live like that. that's not living. if the only real problem was that i was hooked up to a feeding tube then i'm totally cool with that... i guess my point is that as long as i would be able to function on a level where i could communicate and be able to participate in my life then i'm all for having measures taken so that i can continue to live. i don't want to live passively with people taking care of my every need for the rest of my life.
if i were to have a heart attack or a stroke of course i'd want to explore all of the options to see if i'd be able to live normally afterwards, so i don't think that a DNR is something that i'm interested right now. but if i would just continue to be hooked up to breathing machines, and have to have my heart started over and over again, then i think that it's reasonable to say that i wouldn't want to be ressusitated again. having a stroke is one of my biggest fears. if it was the opinion of the doctors that i wouldn't be able to regain most of my functions, and there was still a way to let me die... SERIOUSLY let me die. i don't want to be stuck in my brain forever. i don't want to be paralyzed and without speech. i know that i would be angry and depressed for a long long time. i know that miracles happen in medicine every day, and that when and if something does happen to me any point that i would make now could be moot because they'd have solved any issues that i'm concerned about, but right now these are the things i know about and i know how i *wouldn't* want to live.
watching that poor woman stare blankly into space, and we can't tell if she really knows what's going on and half the people say she does, and half the people say she doesn't... it's just terrible. i can't believe that her parents would want to hang on to her like that knowing that she could be in terrible physical pain, or even on a basic level some mental anguish. we just can't tell... that's pretty awful. even if no one ever reads this, i would hope that my family would be willing to allow me to go when they know that there's no hope for me to come back. i believe that my life is worth fighting for, but there's a point when it becomes an act of futility, and i'm not for that at all. besides, they said that they'll give her morphine while she's being deprived of water and food, and we all know that i'm all for going out being pumped full of opiates.
maybe this seems a little morbid, but it's something that's been on my mind.