hookah with marius
Marius came by tonight to remind me that I still have a long way to go as a chess player. I still want a Go board.
We then went to King Tut's for hookah, hummus, and conversation. He mentioned something to me that I thought important. I'm paraphrasing and probably fluffing it up a bit, but the exact words were far less important than the concept he wanted to get across to me.
It's not who loves you that matters. Who you are has nothing to do with how well or how terribly people treat you. It's about who you love, it's the strength of your passions and the ease with which you offer them that determine your value as a person. Before too long you'll be old, and you'll be bitter and jaded because you will have seen life and the way people are and then you'll find it not such an easy thing to care about people as you do. So enjoy your depression.
I think about all of the people I know, some my age, some younger, who don't engage emotionally the way that I do, who find it difficult to do at all. Jon, for one. He tries and it just doesn't work despite how badly he wants it to. On the one hand I envy the effortless manner in which he keeps his distance, but on the other I wish he could feel what he wants to. I can explain it in an intellectual way, but like so many things involving emotions a logical understanding doesn't help in practice. I tell him to look at people, not as shuffling meatbags in a frozen moment but across the entire timeline of a person, to see a person for all that they have been and could be, and wonder then how he could possibly fail to be charmed by anyone intelligent and attractive enough to strike his fancy.
He gets it, but we can't trade eyes and it doesn't help much to simply discuss.
To see people in that way has always been a characteristic of mine, one which often leaves me ridiculously vulnerable to disappointment and pain. Still, I can't imagine what life would be like without it, to lack the ability to find in someone all that shines within them. I love being able to see people for how truly wonderful they are, to be a glass reflecting brightly and with wonder. To show them who they are to me in a way that makes them feel beautiful.
Too many people feel that way too rarely. I think everyone deserves to feel beautiful, even those with the least reason to. Perhaps especially those people.
Yes, everyone deserves to feel beautiful. If you have bothered to read all of this you should take a moment to glance at a mirror and tell yourself how incredible you are.
We then went to King Tut's for hookah, hummus, and conversation. He mentioned something to me that I thought important. I'm paraphrasing and probably fluffing it up a bit, but the exact words were far less important than the concept he wanted to get across to me.
It's not who loves you that matters. Who you are has nothing to do with how well or how terribly people treat you. It's about who you love, it's the strength of your passions and the ease with which you offer them that determine your value as a person. Before too long you'll be old, and you'll be bitter and jaded because you will have seen life and the way people are and then you'll find it not such an easy thing to care about people as you do. So enjoy your depression.
I think about all of the people I know, some my age, some younger, who don't engage emotionally the way that I do, who find it difficult to do at all. Jon, for one. He tries and it just doesn't work despite how badly he wants it to. On the one hand I envy the effortless manner in which he keeps his distance, but on the other I wish he could feel what he wants to. I can explain it in an intellectual way, but like so many things involving emotions a logical understanding doesn't help in practice. I tell him to look at people, not as shuffling meatbags in a frozen moment but across the entire timeline of a person, to see a person for all that they have been and could be, and wonder then how he could possibly fail to be charmed by anyone intelligent and attractive enough to strike his fancy.
He gets it, but we can't trade eyes and it doesn't help much to simply discuss.
To see people in that way has always been a characteristic of mine, one which often leaves me ridiculously vulnerable to disappointment and pain. Still, I can't imagine what life would be like without it, to lack the ability to find in someone all that shines within them. I love being able to see people for how truly wonderful they are, to be a glass reflecting brightly and with wonder. To show them who they are to me in a way that makes them feel beautiful.
Too many people feel that way too rarely. I think everyone deserves to feel beautiful, even those with the least reason to. Perhaps especially those people.
Yes, everyone deserves to feel beautiful. If you have bothered to read all of this you should take a moment to glance at a mirror and tell yourself how incredible you are.