Ilan's Birth Story

[justreadmyspine]

In honor of Ilan's birthday tomorrow, I have decided to finally post my birth story, which I wrote in January and haven't looked at since. I don't know if many of you know, since I didn't talk about it much, but I had a very difficult delivery that I still have a hard time talking about. No one but me has read my birth story until now. I will

Comments

[queen_gen]

I've been crying while reading this. My God. I don't know what else to say, though. You're incredible for getting through it, here you are a year later and it is still traumatising, but you're still going. That's some severely depressing story

[justreadmyspine]

I agree, it was depressing. And still is

[queen_gen]

The reason I "gave you flack" for not breastfeeding was that I found it to be one of the best things about mommy- and baby-hood. The closeness was indescribable. Your birth was very similar to the birth of Ilan and I too was extremely depressed after you were born. I still believe that breastfeeding helped me get through some of the depression.

I always feel that heart-melting love for Ilan and you know I never thought that would happen. I could stare at perfect little Ilan for hours at a time. Every day he amazes me and every day I count my blessings to have you both in my life . It is so wonderful to watch Ilan learn so many news things every day. Life is such a joy and an adventure for him. We should all be so lucky.

[queen_gen]

I don't know how long we were in foster care, I was really young. In my memory it was about two years and we were shafted from place to place a few times before we finally got to live with our parents again. But when I look back logically on my memories and piece together the ages we all were, I know it can't have been that long. I remember my parents taking me to preschool, and I also remember them taking me to my first day at kindergarten. So it was less than a year and may have been only a few months.

Jeffrey, the youngest, was in care for longer than that, but that's because he had cerebral palsy and lived with a dedicated nurse. He was a year and a half when he finally came to live with us, and by that time most of the physical problems he had were gone. For instance, he'd been born completely paralysed in his left side, but he was walking and moving normally after all the work the nurse did with him.

[justreadmyspine]

You must've told me that at some point over the years. Sometimes it blows me away how long we have known each other! It's really too bad that we haven't gotten the chance to meet in person yet. If they're just build that damn bridge...

[queen_gen]

It seems less impossible for me to get there now. Well, not RIGHT now, but you know what I mean. I used to think I could never afford to get over to the US, but Brad and I just went to Europe and we managed to do that without bankrupting ourselves. Maybe one day we can head over to sunny Seattle (lol).