Late and getting up early

[justplainevil]

Well, lots of things have been happening, but I'm not exactly sure what they are. I know I have never been the most "alert" person, but I feel it is becoming more "dangerous" to me. Alert is probably the word I'm looking for, and dangerous is also not a word I'm looking for but oh well and lets carry on with this. I am thinking there is something going on that desperately involves me, yet I don't seem to care about it and I don't seem to take the action I need to be taking, which leads me to my own desperate dillemia...WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT. Right now I'm typing at approximately 60 words a minute every thought that is going through my head, and I am not kidding. Something seems to be at the very edge of my conciousness, and I don't have the "intelligence" to realize what it is. Someone tried to freak me out lately about something that has no real significance to anything, and I know that person will think that if they read this, but this isn't it. I think I am finally going to fulfill a few of my goals. I am taking a set back allowing an addiction in my life to supernova, but...haven't I always done that? Even to the point of self harm? Sad that I realize this, but its so engrained in my being that I really can't change it. I feel the need to unburn some bridges that I have set up, and to those of you, if you are reading this, I apologize for my lack of judgement, as you see my mind works in extremely wierd ways, and thats why I am wierd, undoubtedly. I assure you though, the only reason you EVER hung out with me was probably because I was wierd, or you were just hanging out with me by proxy, which brings me to another point: I miss Catherine!!!!! I miss the chill nights of just hanging around, doing nothing but occasionally talking when whatever we were doing, which was usually pretty much nothing, hit a low point. I miss the smoke breaks outside when whatever we were doing inside drove us to the point of needing some outdoor relief, which would usually end up lasting for around the same duration as the things we were doing inside. I miss late nights on Fridays where a bunch of people would do basically nothing, and have a damn good time doing it( and usually end up with sore throats from overly loud singing/yelling). Well, I best be getting to sleep, before I realize how little sleep I am going to get due to this late night typing whatever you might call this.
Toodles,
colby (evil)