Ray Guns!
Now available to all intrepid adventures who find themselves in positions of peril vis a vis invading alien hordes intent on doing the dispicable to our womenfolk.
Dr. Grordborts Infallible Aether Ocillators is now stocking the following items.
Manmelter 3600ZX - Sub-Atomic Disintegrator Pistol
Dr. Grordbort does it again. "Ready to Use" the ManMelter 3600 ZX comes prepped to vaporise all and sundry down to a molecular level. Featuring many of the latest ameliorations in Raygun Technology, it comes with Phlogiston cannisters, cleaning apparatus and wingdings, so that you may commence atomising Moon Soldiers or neighbourhood dogs at your earliest convenience.
Be a Better Man with a Manmelter. Your wife may come back to you!*
(some assembly required)
*not covered under warranty
FMOM Industries - Wave Disrupter Gun
Are you genetically pre-disposed to not wanting to blow your face to bits? Then, by crikey, this may not be the device for you - Try a kite!
But, if you're a man, then send large money orders forthwith and procure yourself FMOM's latest and greatest. Built from the exacting plans of the famed Dr. Grordbort, and reinforced with purest Tremontium, this little tiger will turn your foes to a slurry!
Goliathon 83 - Infinity Beam Projector
The advantage with this trusty wave discharger is heft. In the unlikely (but statistically probable) event of its malfunction, it doubles as a wonderful cudgel. Brigands and ne'er do wells will cringe when the Goliathon is brandished at them. Of course, its infra-wave undulations will dissolve 7/9ths of an African Elephant in 10 earth seconds, a handy implement to wield on all occasions.
On lower settings a quick zap will cook a Dodo egg to perfection. Order right this moment or consider one's self a snotty cur.
