(no subject)
Find a table. Sit down. How many? Two? Ok. Here are your menus. Calamari! Scary? Well that's how my mind works. I enter a room in a rush to get out. Why? Because I'm a food junkie. Food junkie? What's that? Well it has a lot to do with eating and obsessions about religion and things I feel guilty about. I wish, for instance, that I could bring my mom and dad back. My dad is still here, but he's sick like my mom was. And cancer scares the living daylights out of me. I feel like I grew up deprived of religion, yet my mom visits me in dreams almost every night. The dreams are the only peace of mind I have because I am so paranoid while I'm awake. The stupid medications are exorbitant and they hurt more than help. I am having vision problems, tiredness, difficulty concentrating in school, and even hearing problems. I have an insatiable appetite because two of the medications increase appetite. I have bought a gym membership to Bally's, but now my nest egg is nothing but a shell of what it once was. I'm working, but not enough because I'll call to come in, and they won't want me or need me. Blehh, it's ok. I love to waste time on here and vent the day away. It makes me feel much better to get the thoughts out.