"Madder than a wet hen"
I've spent a good chunk of my life no longer identifying with a southern heritage, so I'm not sure if that phrase will mean anything to all you yanks or not. To explain, if you piss off a hen, she can get really nasty. Deadly nasty. Why am I even explaining this colloquialism to you? Well, because yesterday I truly realized just how crazy mad a wet hen really gets.
When I got to Moira's school yesterday to pick her up, she was on the playground. She gave me a hug but wanted five more minutes to play, which was no big deal. I watched as she chased after Vivian and Aidan chased after her. That fun ended when Aidan caught up to Moira and pushed her down. Both hands. Shove. My little baby girl started crying. I came unglued.
I'm not a hitter. As I parent I think hitting is the most uneducated thing you can do, because there are so many other options, and if you really want a child to learn a lesson, hitting will never accomplish the lesson that you want them to learn. Unless, of course, the lesson you are trying to teach is that the child is worthless, the answer to feeling angry is violence, and parents exist to hurt their children. But I digress. Basically, I'm not that kind of parent. Which is the only thing that saved Aidan yesterday. I wanted to beat the ever loving snot out of that little bastard for making my angel cry.
Though every muscle in my body tensed and I'm sure I looked crazed, I didn't raise a hand. I stormed across the playground to them and yelled. "AIDAN! You do NOT push my daughter down! That is NOT acceptable! You apologize RIGHT NOW." Shockingly, he listened. He went over to Moira and said sorry. By that time I had crossed the playground and was standing right with them, Moira still sobbing and clinging to me. I kneeled down and got right on Aidan's eye level and with a venom I hope he remembers for the rest of his life told him, "You are NEVER to put a hand on my daughter EVER again."
It was about that time that a teacher finally came over to tell Aidan not to push, thank him for apologizing, and told him to go play again. With the teacher standing right next to me, I turned to Moira and told her, "If Aidan pushes you again, you push back." The teacher didn't say a thing.
Ok, admittedly that's bad advice for Moira. But I was "madder than a wet hen." And she is a sweet little thing who doesn't know yet how full this world is of people that will hurt you if you don't stand up for yourself. I just don't want her automatic response to be to cry and curl up in on herself like she did yesterday; I want her to fight back. She's had chronic problems with Aidan, and if she punched him in the nose, I'd shake her hand and tell her good job. I may not be a hitting parent, but I never claimed to be a good one, either. ;-)
My mother, on the other hand, is an amazing parent. We called Granny later, and she told Moira, "Remind Mommy that pushing is wrong, even if you are pushed. Instead, the next time anyone hurts you; you stand up and as loud as you can yell, 'DON'T HURT ME!' Then you go tell the teacher. And if that doesn't work, you tell them that your Granny is going to come and spank them if they can't behave." That advice made Moira feel better, anyway. Me? I was drained. Good thing my only plan for the night was cuddling on the couch and watching Avatar, because that's all I was good for. The adrenaline, the anger, and the will power it took to not kill that kid left me with exactly zero energy.
::deep sigh:: I really hope I get used to these sorts of things before someone really hurts my daughter. Its life and it's bound to happen. But I either need to get used to it or find a good place to hide bodies...