i'll be around
I got really happy and motivated for like 10 minutes, then I got all anxious and felt like I was going to throw up. Now I just feel like shit.
Starting right here (as in this sentence) it's technically a new entry, I just decided it'd be pointless to post two within 10 minutes of each other. Although, I think everyone that follows me on this has died (not literally, but at least stopped paying attention to the random entries that I write for whatever reason [can't blame them]). That's a lie actually, I wouldn't be writing like this if I didn't think anybody was reading this. It's either that or I'm just recording the inner conversation I'm having with myself and so it sounds like I'm writing this for someone. No. I don't think that works either, otherwise I'd have written all the mistakes and then included "no that's stupid" or "she'll know that's about ____" or "that's a little too obvious" in most of my entries.
I sort of like the idea of nobody reading this though, as then I don't really have to think about what I'm writing in terms of what would be appropriate and what wouldn't be. Although, all of that is forgotten instantly when I remind myself how much of a whore I am and that I like the fact that someone would actually take the time to go through one of these long-winded stupid entries that I write every once in a while, and all end up repeating the last and (essentially) being about the same thing. Mind you, this isn't really for any of you. In fact, the only reason I don't put them on private is so that I can avoid those conversations where people catch up and both people are just listening for their turn to speak so that they can talk about something they find much more interesting (their own bullshit).
I'm coming off as a bit of a dick right now, but I don't pretend to be anything different so I think whoever might be reading this will forgive me. Fuck you though, this entry isn't about you. This journal exists for me to bitch needlessly about my life where nothing really goes wrong, everyone is healthy, and I don't have to work particularly hard for good things to happen to me. Where I complain that shit sucks for me despite having the ability to go out and buy something on a whim at any given point because I'm not hurting for money, and I don't even have to pay for music because, like Real-Old Tom and Dead Tom before him, I am a pirate.
And ultimately just like every other time I start writing something like this I get distracted, lose my train of thought, get tired of writing this shit, and realize that I've stayed up too late so now I'll likely be late for work. On a somewhat related note, I like Emily Haines a lot more than I used to now.
Good Night.
Starting right here (as in this sentence) it's technically a new entry, I just decided it'd be pointless to post two within 10 minutes of each other. Although, I think everyone that follows me on this has died (not literally, but at least stopped paying attention to the random entries that I write for whatever reason [can't blame them]). That's a lie actually, I wouldn't be writing like this if I didn't think anybody was reading this. It's either that or I'm just recording the inner conversation I'm having with myself and so it sounds like I'm writing this for someone. No. I don't think that works either, otherwise I'd have written all the mistakes and then included "no that's stupid" or "she'll know that's about ____" or "that's a little too obvious" in most of my entries.
I sort of like the idea of nobody reading this though, as then I don't really have to think about what I'm writing in terms of what would be appropriate and what wouldn't be. Although, all of that is forgotten instantly when I remind myself how much of a whore I am and that I like the fact that someone would actually take the time to go through one of these long-winded stupid entries that I write every once in a while, and all end up repeating the last and (essentially) being about the same thing. Mind you, this isn't really for any of you. In fact, the only reason I don't put them on private is so that I can avoid those conversations where people catch up and both people are just listening for their turn to speak so that they can talk about something they find much more interesting (their own bullshit).
I'm coming off as a bit of a dick right now, but I don't pretend to be anything different so I think whoever might be reading this will forgive me. Fuck you though, this entry isn't about you. This journal exists for me to bitch needlessly about my life where nothing really goes wrong, everyone is healthy, and I don't have to work particularly hard for good things to happen to me. Where I complain that shit sucks for me despite having the ability to go out and buy something on a whim at any given point because I'm not hurting for money, and I don't even have to pay for music because, like Real-Old Tom and Dead Tom before him, I am a pirate.
And ultimately just like every other time I start writing something like this I get distracted, lose my train of thought, get tired of writing this shit, and realize that I've stayed up too late so now I'll likely be late for work. On a somewhat related note, I like Emily Haines a lot more than I used to now.
Good Night.