(no subject)
I have never gotten down to my knees and begged for anything, except for once. I begged for your forgiveness, told you I would forgive all as well, begged for you to give us a chance to work things out. I told you we were young and stupid and that if we worked at this together as a team we would be okay. I was honest, I was earnest, I was vulnerable.
It was a mistake, something that I regret maybe even more than all the things I screwed up in our time together. For once, I threw aside my selfishness, my jealousy, anger, resentment. I lowered myself to you and asked for something that only you could give. Even though you shed tears, I could see nothing in your eyes but the final victory that you must have felt. Maybe they were tears of joy. You had finally convinced me that you were better, and I was defeated. It was something that you had always claimed, boastful and proud about it even. And now I am left, full of doubt, self loathing, feeling as if I am the only one to shoulder the blame and guilt for the rift the WE created.
Will our mistakes forever bind us to the confines of this reality we have created? Will we never venture into the unknown and explore the way we were meant to? I have a wanderlust, and I pine almost every day to satisfy it. I am worn and stretched thin from this sterile environment I have been surviving in. Can you help me find this place? Or are you another permanent passenger on the all-inclusive cruise ship journey I am soon to be leaving.
It was a mistake, something that I regret maybe even more than all the things I screwed up in our time together. For once, I threw aside my selfishness, my jealousy, anger, resentment. I lowered myself to you and asked for something that only you could give. Even though you shed tears, I could see nothing in your eyes but the final victory that you must have felt. Maybe they were tears of joy. You had finally convinced me that you were better, and I was defeated. It was something that you had always claimed, boastful and proud about it even. And now I am left, full of doubt, self loathing, feeling as if I am the only one to shoulder the blame and guilt for the rift the WE created.
Will our mistakes forever bind us to the confines of this reality we have created? Will we never venture into the unknown and explore the way we were meant to? I have a wanderlust, and I pine almost every day to satisfy it. I am worn and stretched thin from this sterile environment I have been surviving in. Can you help me find this place? Or are you another permanent passenger on the all-inclusive cruise ship journey I am soon to be leaving.