(no subject)
i think i've realized for the first time ever,
or the first time that i'm actually willing to admit it,
that i have trust issues.
i always think that people will bail out on me
and that no one cares enough to do things for me
or put time aside for me.
i feel like i don't really matter to anyone
and that i'll never really have friends.
but, suddenly, i have two.
two best friends.
that talk to me on a daily basis.
that actually care that i'm ok.
that actually want to see me and spend time with me
and it makes me feel so incredibly fulfilled
but so incredibly insecure at the same time.
am i good enough?
what do i have to do to keep them here?
do i care too much?
should i jus assume that they'll leave?
it's so hard for me to trust people.
not to open up,
but to actually think that someone will be there for me
in and out
and actually mean it.
but i think i've found it.
and i hope i can keep it.
or the first time that i'm actually willing to admit it,
that i have trust issues.
i always think that people will bail out on me
and that no one cares enough to do things for me
or put time aside for me.
i feel like i don't really matter to anyone
and that i'll never really have friends.
but, suddenly, i have two.
two best friends.
that talk to me on a daily basis.
that actually care that i'm ok.
that actually want to see me and spend time with me
and it makes me feel so incredibly fulfilled
but so incredibly insecure at the same time.
am i good enough?
what do i have to do to keep them here?
do i care too much?
should i jus assume that they'll leave?
it's so hard for me to trust people.
not to open up,
but to actually think that someone will be there for me
in and out
and actually mean it.
but i think i've found it.
and i hope i can keep it.