Yesterday in Ohio...
Yesterday in Ohio sucked most of the time. The ride there we and Jason took a in the middle of no where tour. We found a wide open field with a tree in the middle of it and that was most exciting thing we seen till about a 1/4 of the way road and we found a van and a bright blue porta-potty in a wide open field. Then I seen Tearsa and gave her the biggest hug and then said hi to Jen then Megan. I was talking with Tearsa and she told me that David made her read the note a loud to everyone in the cabin. That really wasn't cool. He really thought that I was depressed before...haha this and everything that I was thinking before and everything...that makes me ten times more depressed. I told Tearsa that I had cut and she spazed like I thought she was going to if I had to tell her. It is completely amazing that she understands like everything that I say. I thought that David was the only one who I could tell anything. Well he proved me extremely wrong now didn't he. I don't by any mean understand him. Nothing he does any more I can understand. He didn't tell me anything either. I don't know but on the way home I cried the whole way. He really broke my heart in a way that I thought that he never would and I don't think that he knows it. We didn't even go out but I don't care about that but the way he has acted these passed two weeks have just killed me. I understand that his Pap-pap died and he was just trying to be a good friend but I don't know what I did to deserve the way he treated me. He made me feel so small. More small than I already am. For being someone who I thought was basically perfect can treat me like the piece of fish he ate last week. I don't know but he just made me cry. I cried the whole way home and all last night. I promised Tearsa that I wouldn't cut again but I don't know what to do. There is nothing to do or no one to talk to. I need something. If not then I will probably die from not eating or get sick from wearing long sleeves or just completely giving up from being so depressed. They really need to come back. I need Tearsa here. I need some one. Not David...I'm over him...I don't want an ass hole. He is an ass...I'll get Justin...Thats want I want. NOT DAVID!!!!!!!!!! Did you get that one?????????? I don't like him like that but I love him as my best friend. I'd give him my life if he need me to but that is all this time. For real. Even though he is an ass...he is still a great person inside. I want to see that again. But I won't give in. I promise.
Love,
Missy
Love,
Missy