And a Cheery Good Morning to You, Too! - Guest Post: Emmett
Bwahaha - forgot to switch this to public when I was done! Sigh.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Oh this is so just too early. “Teddy, get that, would you?”
“Why can’t you get it?” he grumps. He so hates to have his morning sudoku interrupted.
“Because, honey, I am in no condition to greet my adoring public, not in this state, anyway.” My face is slathered with moisturizer and my teal headband is keeping the floppy fronds of hair out of my face. No point in scaring the horses. He pushes back from the table and stands with a groan.
“What the hell happened to the doorbells around here, anyway?” The banging continues and I shrug as he heads through the foyer to the street door. I don’t mention that I’d come across Brian doing something sinister to the contact wires with a screwdriver. He hadn’t said much when he’ d noticed me watching, just grumbled something about blind fucking bats who couldn’t tell one buzzer from another. Needless to say, I did not question him further.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Teddy rushes back in. “I’m not dealing with that. You go deal with that! Someone else’s turn for a change!” With that he speeds off through the living room and up the stairs. To hide, I assume. Hmmm.
The banging continues and I’m thinking I’d better do something about this before Brian and Justin hear it - or even worse, Sophie. A slight pause between the ramrod rapping and I peer through the lace curtain on the front glass to see - Lindsay! Oh, my. This is so not the way this day should be dawning. Even if it’s 10 o’clock. Whatever. She turns back from the street to catch me just before I drop the lace back.
“Em! Let me in!”
Oh yay. “Lindsay! What a surprise!” I smile and open the door just a tad. “How nice of you to take time out of your undoubtedly busy schedule to stop by for a moment. Unfortunately, this really isn’t a good time for any of us…”
“Emmett.” She inches what I notice to be a very well shod foot between the door and frame. “I need to see Brian and I know he lives here. He’s in, isn’t he? I called his office and was told he wasn’t expected till later in the day.” She smiles and runs that whole WASP charm thing one me, not that it would work, me being a queer and all. Also because I know the kind of shit she and her band of marauders are capable of.
“I don’t know if he’s here, Lindsay, honestly.” It’s true. Haven’t seen either Brian or Justin this morning. Right now I’m hoping not to, either.
“Hey, Em, what the fuck was all that noise?”
Too late. Justin comes through their door, nicely flushed which I will charitably attribute to a recent shower, since his low slung sweats are still damp. Okay, so they were fucking. Again. Quelle surprise.
“Justin!’ The bitch catches me unawares and flings the door open to rush through it. “He said you weren’t home!”
“Actually, Lindsay, you asked about Brian and I said I didn’t know. Which, by the way, would have been the same answer if you had asked about Justin.”
“Could we not pitch a fit here in the entry, Lindz? Em, how about coffee? Your place.” He grabs Lindsay by the elbow and leads, okay, pretty much shoves, her through the door to our side of the building and off into our kitchen. My how our precious little twink has become a force to be reckoned with!
“Justin, what’s wrong with you?” Lindsay settles herself into prissy princess mode. Lord knows I love her, well I used to anyway, but now? Sigh. Bitch.
“Em?” my favorite little twink sighs as he sinks into one of the high backed dark wood chairs at the 50’s - but not retro because, how can it be retro if it’s original, I mean, really, - metal topped kitchen table. I take the hint and set down mugs of fresh coffee before each of them. After I set out a basket of still warm mini croissants Teddy was so kind as so run out for, I grab a mug for myself and take a spot hopefully out of the line of fire.
“Where’s Brian?” is the opening salvo.
“Upstairs getting dressed for work. Is something wrong, Lindsay?” Ooh, he’s cool, our boy. I’d be fiddling. Of course he knows there’s nothing wrong, Deb called Ted to warn him of Lindsay’s impending visit once she got wind of it from Michael. Guess the three stooges ran out of sympathy from a woman who worked her ass off to raise her kid on her own.
“Justin, I know you mean well, but this is something between Brian and me.”
Way to go, Lindz, piss Justin off right at the start!
“If it concerns Brian, it concerns me.” Justin takes a croissant and pulls at it, peeling the tiny layers apart. That’s not nerves, he always does that with his croissants. Must have made his parents crazy during brunch at the club, I imagine. “Does it concern Gus? That concerns me as well.” I slide the triple pots of Stonewall jams toward him. The lad has a ritual. First the jam du jour, then a drizzle of honey. He glances around.
“Oops, sorry, sweetie, let me just scoot a minute.” I fetch the honey pot and stick and he smiles his thanks. Lindsay shoots me a look. “Breakfast is usually here at chez us. Lord knows Brian’s not big on breakfast and Sunshine here, well…”
“So when can I talk to Brian?” Lindsay interrupts.
“Talk to me about what?” Brian’s in the kitchen, snuck up on us all unawares and he is not looking happy. Though I must say I’m very happy to see him standing barefoot wearing nothing but sand silk and linen trousers. Which, by the by, set off his yummy olive skin and that beautifully flat tummy to perfection. Not to mention those long, long legs… Justin kicks me under the table and I give him a sheepish grin. He knows where my mind has been.
“Let me guess, Brian. It’s casual day at work, right?” I ask with a grin. “Shirts and shoes optional?”
“Partly right. Going in later today.” Lindsay opens her mouth but he holds up a hand. “No, that doesn’t mean I’m spending the morning writing checks to you. Now spill. You didn’t make the journey just to see lil ole me for the fun of it.”
Lindsay bristles. “Brian, I hardly think this is a matter for public discussion. Why don’t we go next door to your place. I’ll make some coffee and we can talk there.”
“Good plan. Just one thing. We already have coffee here. Oh, and it’s not my place, it’s Justin’s and my place. Plus, it’s really rude to invite yourself somewhere you’re obviously not welcome. Sorry,” he laughs as Justin sets down a mug and the sugar bowl in front of him. “That’s three. Always did suck at math. It’s why I have Theodore.” Justin rolls his eyes before he settles onto Brian’s lap, dragging his croissant plate closer. Brian shakes his head at Justin’s offer of a croissant piece, then relents as Justin drags the apricot ginger laden pastry across Brian’s lips, tongue flicking at it before finally accepting it into his mouth.
“Could you two please stop that! I’m here for a reason!”
“Yeah, money, as usual,” Justin none too quietly laughs.
“Brian!” Lindsay voice is rising now. Don’t know what kind of a reception she was expecting - guessing it wasn’t this one. “I demand that you and I talk. Now! I didn’t fly all the way up here to be insulted!”
“Um, Linds, nobody asked you to and I would hardly refer to a 90 minute flight as a cross country trek. So cut the shit and get to the point.”
“Brian!”
“What is going on here?” Sophie makes her appearance. “And who is this?” She glares at Lindsay. “You have a loud mouth.” Justin buries his head in Brian’s neck but it’s obvious from the shaking of his shoulders that he’s laughing. I hear a yelp as Brian pinches his ass in an attempt to stop him.
“Um, Sophie,” Ted starts, having followed her into the kitchen. “This is Lindsay. Micahel’s friend. Remember, I told you about her? The mother of Brian and Justin’s son,” (Lindsay glares. Well discreetly glares.) “Gus. Sophie, this is Lindsay, Lindsay, Sophie.”
“Sophie, so nice to meet you at last. I’ve heard so much about you.” From Michael, no doubt, I think. “I noticed the mezuzah. My wife is Jewish. I guess you could say I’m Jewish too by injection,” she laughs. The rest of us just look at her until Sophie speaks up.
“What, with a turkey baster?” Brian chokes on his coffee and Justin starts cackling. Lindsay’s dumbfounded. Ted looks appropriately horrified and me, I just want to have Sophie’s babies. “What? You think you invented it? Shikse,” she mutters as she leaves.
“Brian!” Lindsay recovers from her shock. “We have to talk.”
“What about, Lindsay?”
“Not here, not in front of everyone.” She glances nervously around. Sucks to be on hostile turf, doesn’t it?
“Tough. I - we,” he smiles at Justin, “have plans so now or never. Cut the bullshit. You want more money, right?”
She nods. “It’s only right, Brian, Gus is your son and I’m his mother. You have so much. We deserve-“
“Theodore,” Brian barks as he slides Justin from his lap.
“Yeah, Brian?”
“Get Lindsay back to the airport and on a flight back to the Pitts.” He turns to Lindsay. “Don’t pull this shit again, any of you. Not here in the city, not back in Pittsburgh. Fair warning. Last warning.” He and Justin leave without a backward glance. This is bad. Teddy and I exchange glances.
“Come on, Lindsay. I’ll call for a car and you can finish your coffee. Any luggage?”
“What? Um, no, but I’ll just wait for Brian to calm down a bit. He didn’t mean any of that.”
I can’t tell if she’s confident or delusional. I take her hand. “Um, honey, yeah, he did. If I were you, I’d skedaddle.”
Ted slips his blackberry into a pocket and pulls a business card from a folio on the counter. “Here. Brian requests that all further communication be handled through his lawyer. You can advise Brog as to with whom he will be dealing.”
“You can’t be serious!” Lindsay stares at the card. “I - I thought I could talk some sense into him!”
“Oh, honey. You just made it way, way, worse.”
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Oh this is so just too early. “Teddy, get that, would you?”
“Why can’t you get it?” he grumps. He so hates to have his morning sudoku interrupted.
“Because, honey, I am in no condition to greet my adoring public, not in this state, anyway.” My face is slathered with moisturizer and my teal headband is keeping the floppy fronds of hair out of my face. No point in scaring the horses. He pushes back from the table and stands with a groan.
“What the hell happened to the doorbells around here, anyway?” The banging continues and I shrug as he heads through the foyer to the street door. I don’t mention that I’d come across Brian doing something sinister to the contact wires with a screwdriver. He hadn’t said much when he’ d noticed me watching, just grumbled something about blind fucking bats who couldn’t tell one buzzer from another. Needless to say, I did not question him further.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Teddy rushes back in. “I’m not dealing with that. You go deal with that! Someone else’s turn for a change!” With that he speeds off through the living room and up the stairs. To hide, I assume. Hmmm.
The banging continues and I’m thinking I’d better do something about this before Brian and Justin hear it - or even worse, Sophie. A slight pause between the ramrod rapping and I peer through the lace curtain on the front glass to see - Lindsay! Oh, my. This is so not the way this day should be dawning. Even if it’s 10 o’clock. Whatever. She turns back from the street to catch me just before I drop the lace back.
“Em! Let me in!”
Oh yay. “Lindsay! What a surprise!” I smile and open the door just a tad. “How nice of you to take time out of your undoubtedly busy schedule to stop by for a moment. Unfortunately, this really isn’t a good time for any of us…”
“Emmett.” She inches what I notice to be a very well shod foot between the door and frame. “I need to see Brian and I know he lives here. He’s in, isn’t he? I called his office and was told he wasn’t expected till later in the day.” She smiles and runs that whole WASP charm thing one me, not that it would work, me being a queer and all. Also because I know the kind of shit she and her band of marauders are capable of.
“I don’t know if he’s here, Lindsay, honestly.” It’s true. Haven’t seen either Brian or Justin this morning. Right now I’m hoping not to, either.
“Hey, Em, what the fuck was all that noise?”
Too late. Justin comes through their door, nicely flushed which I will charitably attribute to a recent shower, since his low slung sweats are still damp. Okay, so they were fucking. Again. Quelle surprise.
“Justin!’ The bitch catches me unawares and flings the door open to rush through it. “He said you weren’t home!”
“Actually, Lindsay, you asked about Brian and I said I didn’t know. Which, by the way, would have been the same answer if you had asked about Justin.”
“Could we not pitch a fit here in the entry, Lindz? Em, how about coffee? Your place.” He grabs Lindsay by the elbow and leads, okay, pretty much shoves, her through the door to our side of the building and off into our kitchen. My how our precious little twink has become a force to be reckoned with!
“Justin, what’s wrong with you?” Lindsay settles herself into prissy princess mode. Lord knows I love her, well I used to anyway, but now? Sigh. Bitch.
“Em?” my favorite little twink sighs as he sinks into one of the high backed dark wood chairs at the 50’s - but not retro because, how can it be retro if it’s original, I mean, really, - metal topped kitchen table. I take the hint and set down mugs of fresh coffee before each of them. After I set out a basket of still warm mini croissants Teddy was so kind as so run out for, I grab a mug for myself and take a spot hopefully out of the line of fire.
“Where’s Brian?” is the opening salvo.
“Upstairs getting dressed for work. Is something wrong, Lindsay?” Ooh, he’s cool, our boy. I’d be fiddling. Of course he knows there’s nothing wrong, Deb called Ted to warn him of Lindsay’s impending visit once she got wind of it from Michael. Guess the three stooges ran out of sympathy from a woman who worked her ass off to raise her kid on her own.
“Justin, I know you mean well, but this is something between Brian and me.”
Way to go, Lindz, piss Justin off right at the start!
“If it concerns Brian, it concerns me.” Justin takes a croissant and pulls at it, peeling the tiny layers apart. That’s not nerves, he always does that with his croissants. Must have made his parents crazy during brunch at the club, I imagine. “Does it concern Gus? That concerns me as well.” I slide the triple pots of Stonewall jams toward him. The lad has a ritual. First the jam du jour, then a drizzle of honey. He glances around.
“Oops, sorry, sweetie, let me just scoot a minute.” I fetch the honey pot and stick and he smiles his thanks. Lindsay shoots me a look. “Breakfast is usually here at chez us. Lord knows Brian’s not big on breakfast and Sunshine here, well…”
“So when can I talk to Brian?” Lindsay interrupts.
“Talk to me about what?” Brian’s in the kitchen, snuck up on us all unawares and he is not looking happy. Though I must say I’m very happy to see him standing barefoot wearing nothing but sand silk and linen trousers. Which, by the by, set off his yummy olive skin and that beautifully flat tummy to perfection. Not to mention those long, long legs… Justin kicks me under the table and I give him a sheepish grin. He knows where my mind has been.
“Let me guess, Brian. It’s casual day at work, right?” I ask with a grin. “Shirts and shoes optional?”
“Partly right. Going in later today.” Lindsay opens her mouth but he holds up a hand. “No, that doesn’t mean I’m spending the morning writing checks to you. Now spill. You didn’t make the journey just to see lil ole me for the fun of it.”
Lindsay bristles. “Brian, I hardly think this is a matter for public discussion. Why don’t we go next door to your place. I’ll make some coffee and we can talk there.”
“Good plan. Just one thing. We already have coffee here. Oh, and it’s not my place, it’s Justin’s and my place. Plus, it’s really rude to invite yourself somewhere you’re obviously not welcome. Sorry,” he laughs as Justin sets down a mug and the sugar bowl in front of him. “That’s three. Always did suck at math. It’s why I have Theodore.” Justin rolls his eyes before he settles onto Brian’s lap, dragging his croissant plate closer. Brian shakes his head at Justin’s offer of a croissant piece, then relents as Justin drags the apricot ginger laden pastry across Brian’s lips, tongue flicking at it before finally accepting it into his mouth.
“Could you two please stop that! I’m here for a reason!”
“Yeah, money, as usual,” Justin none too quietly laughs.
“Brian!” Lindsay voice is rising now. Don’t know what kind of a reception she was expecting - guessing it wasn’t this one. “I demand that you and I talk. Now! I didn’t fly all the way up here to be insulted!”
“Um, Linds, nobody asked you to and I would hardly refer to a 90 minute flight as a cross country trek. So cut the shit and get to the point.”
“Brian!”
“What is going on here?” Sophie makes her appearance. “And who is this?” She glares at Lindsay. “You have a loud mouth.” Justin buries his head in Brian’s neck but it’s obvious from the shaking of his shoulders that he’s laughing. I hear a yelp as Brian pinches his ass in an attempt to stop him.
“Um, Sophie,” Ted starts, having followed her into the kitchen. “This is Lindsay. Micahel’s friend. Remember, I told you about her? The mother of Brian and Justin’s son,” (Lindsay glares. Well discreetly glares.) “Gus. Sophie, this is Lindsay, Lindsay, Sophie.”
“Sophie, so nice to meet you at last. I’ve heard so much about you.” From Michael, no doubt, I think. “I noticed the mezuzah. My wife is Jewish. I guess you could say I’m Jewish too by injection,” she laughs. The rest of us just look at her until Sophie speaks up.
“What, with a turkey baster?” Brian chokes on his coffee and Justin starts cackling. Lindsay’s dumbfounded. Ted looks appropriately horrified and me, I just want to have Sophie’s babies. “What? You think you invented it? Shikse,” she mutters as she leaves.
“Brian!” Lindsay recovers from her shock. “We have to talk.”
“What about, Lindsay?”
“Not here, not in front of everyone.” She glances nervously around. Sucks to be on hostile turf, doesn’t it?
“Tough. I - we,” he smiles at Justin, “have plans so now or never. Cut the bullshit. You want more money, right?”
She nods. “It’s only right, Brian, Gus is your son and I’m his mother. You have so much. We deserve-“
“Theodore,” Brian barks as he slides Justin from his lap.
“Yeah, Brian?”
“Get Lindsay back to the airport and on a flight back to the Pitts.” He turns to Lindsay. “Don’t pull this shit again, any of you. Not here in the city, not back in Pittsburgh. Fair warning. Last warning.” He and Justin leave without a backward glance. This is bad. Teddy and I exchange glances.
“Come on, Lindsay. I’ll call for a car and you can finish your coffee. Any luggage?”
“What? Um, no, but I’ll just wait for Brian to calm down a bit. He didn’t mean any of that.”
I can’t tell if she’s confident or delusional. I take her hand. “Um, honey, yeah, he did. If I were you, I’d skedaddle.”
Ted slips his blackberry into a pocket and pulls a business card from a folio on the counter. “Here. Brian requests that all further communication be handled through his lawyer. You can advise Brog as to with whom he will be dealing.”
“You can’t be serious!” Lindsay stares at the card. “I - I thought I could talk some sense into him!”
“Oh, honey. You just made it way, way, worse.”