The Long Work Week
Another day at work. I'm now working at La Madeleine which is quite an improvement from Earl Abel's and Denny's. The food is great and I really enjoy my co-workers and position. It took two weeks to find this job but I think I found something I will be happy with until I can finish my degree.
I'm dead broke again after losing my job at Denny's over a disgruntled neighbors lies. Must keep my mind focused. Keep working and the worries will disappear. No doubt to be replaced by less dier ones but there is always that month or two of glee when you get out of the slump, when my minor case of OCD disappears to be content with what I have. Another long night awaits. With this working schedule I tend to stay up later to wind down from work and get up in the afternoon. Feels like a day wasted. Wake-up, go to work, come home, eat and watch movies or TV with Tama until it reaches her bedtime.. 2am, and then I play around on the computer or watch TV until I pass out around 4-5 am. I should stop doing this and get up earlier, maybe catch a matinee or grab lunch some place except the lack of funds prevents that right now. I need a project, but what? Clean.. too late. Paint.. no "inspiration". Hang out with friends.. too late. I hate to think that this night schedule sucks but it really does. I just want to keep positive right now. Everything seems so fragile and I need to remain cool. So I shrug of worries and regret and shoot some thoughts off in a journal I'm pretty sure no one reads save myself.
I'm happy for:
Tamara
Good Job
Family (Dad, Sis, and my recently re-acquanted Aunt & Uncle)
Friends (Katy, Mikk.. honestly, it feels they are truly my best friends)
Side Rant: I really love Katy and Mikk. They are the only roommates
I've ever had that I still talk with and hang out with
regularly [besides Tama :) ] It's cool having someone know your in's
and out's, your flaws and favors, and still like YOU. I think
I'm the type of person that is the "Love them or Hate them" kind.
I don't have a lot of friends because I think I'm very particular
about who I call a friend. I'm sure there are many people who I have
ran into through the years who consider me a friend, and thats
cool, actually it's really cool, but I'm not so eager to give that title
to someone. Nick is a good example. Met him through Tamara. Really cool
guy.. we can hang out, converse easily but I just don't feel that ultimate
comfort level with yet. He probably considers me a friend, and for that
I'm grateful, but I have to go through some shit with someone before I hit
that bond. Anyhow, I just want to put it down, Katy and Mikk are great
people and I hope we stay friends for many years to come.
My pets [Indy and Pixel!]
My relationship with Tamara's parents
My apartment
My health
My stuff [even though the pawn shop has a majority of it ;) ]
I'm sad for:
Nick's Dad [even though he is alright now]
Tamara's anxiety
What feels like my lack of communication with my Dad
My inability to say the right things
Stuff I want to do:
Get my bills paid
Get a piercing or tattoo
Get drunk with friends
Travel
Get dressed up and go to a club
Have a huge Mocha Late, ciggerettes, and dangle my legs off the cliff at the Tea Gardens
See the stars under country sky
Photograph the industrial side of San Antonio
Oh wrech!!!!! Indy just puked and it stinks something awful! I've got to take care of puppy face now so goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight all you crazy crazy people!
I'm dead broke again after losing my job at Denny's over a disgruntled neighbors lies. Must keep my mind focused. Keep working and the worries will disappear. No doubt to be replaced by less dier ones but there is always that month or two of glee when you get out of the slump, when my minor case of OCD disappears to be content with what I have. Another long night awaits. With this working schedule I tend to stay up later to wind down from work and get up in the afternoon. Feels like a day wasted. Wake-up, go to work, come home, eat and watch movies or TV with Tama until it reaches her bedtime.. 2am, and then I play around on the computer or watch TV until I pass out around 4-5 am. I should stop doing this and get up earlier, maybe catch a matinee or grab lunch some place except the lack of funds prevents that right now. I need a project, but what? Clean.. too late. Paint.. no "inspiration". Hang out with friends.. too late. I hate to think that this night schedule sucks but it really does. I just want to keep positive right now. Everything seems so fragile and I need to remain cool. So I shrug of worries and regret and shoot some thoughts off in a journal I'm pretty sure no one reads save myself.
I'm happy for:
Tamara
Good Job
Family (Dad, Sis, and my recently re-acquanted Aunt & Uncle)
Friends (Katy, Mikk.. honestly, it feels they are truly my best friends)
Side Rant: I really love Katy and Mikk. They are the only roommates
I've ever had that I still talk with and hang out with
regularly [besides Tama :) ] It's cool having someone know your in's
and out's, your flaws and favors, and still like YOU. I think
I'm the type of person that is the "Love them or Hate them" kind.
I don't have a lot of friends because I think I'm very particular
about who I call a friend. I'm sure there are many people who I have
ran into through the years who consider me a friend, and thats
cool, actually it's really cool, but I'm not so eager to give that title
to someone. Nick is a good example. Met him through Tamara. Really cool
guy.. we can hang out, converse easily but I just don't feel that ultimate
comfort level with yet. He probably considers me a friend, and for that
I'm grateful, but I have to go through some shit with someone before I hit
that bond. Anyhow, I just want to put it down, Katy and Mikk are great
people and I hope we stay friends for many years to come.
My pets [Indy and Pixel!]
My relationship with Tamara's parents
My apartment
My health
My stuff [even though the pawn shop has a majority of it ;) ]
I'm sad for:
Nick's Dad [even though he is alright now]
Tamara's anxiety
What feels like my lack of communication with my Dad
My inability to say the right things
Stuff I want to do:
Get my bills paid
Get a piercing or tattoo
Get drunk with friends
Travel
Get dressed up and go to a club
Have a huge Mocha Late, ciggerettes, and dangle my legs off the cliff at the Tea Gardens
See the stars under country sky
Photograph the industrial side of San Antonio
Oh wrech!!!!! Indy just puked and it stinks something awful! I've got to take care of puppy face now so goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight all you crazy crazy people!