8.88 years to this moment...
Like entering the dance floor, the music still playing, the lights still flashing, not sure if anyone else is in the club. I'll buy a drink if I can, dance when I'm almost certain that no one else is watching. I have strange memories of this very scenario, walking around some empty stairs on a dance floor to Around the World By Daft Punk. Seeing abandoned buildings done up with lights and lonely dancers like visions from another dimension, or no one at all.
I haven't felt like myself, in years. I don't know that I ever did, or ever will. My sense of self is like something I expect to see in a Terry Gilliam film, even though I never truly liked those films, they always gave me the creeps. I live surreal, I don't belong there, necessarily. But I am a weird enough guy to blend in. This is often brought on by the experience and not the way I am naturally.
I think I'm pretty straight forward. I want love and comfort. I want food and entertainment. I want to relax mentally and physically.
But right now, what I need, is to get some milk and some cat food to tide us over until the next shop. I'm the only one in the house drinking milk at the moment. I wish I and others wrote more and I wish I read more. As a relic of the late 90's I may do more reading and writing now that I have the fancy phone which I think I should have had in the 80's around the time the Empire Strikes Back came out. I should have an R2 unit and a lightsaber by now, not worrying about money because computers and mathematical models would have rendered poverty history without depriving anyone of dreams and enterprise.
Dare I leave this public? Yeah, why not, this time. Off for milk, cat food and mood enhancers, probably in the form of peanut butter cups, if they are available.
I haven't felt like myself, in years. I don't know that I ever did, or ever will. My sense of self is like something I expect to see in a Terry Gilliam film, even though I never truly liked those films, they always gave me the creeps. I live surreal, I don't belong there, necessarily. But I am a weird enough guy to blend in. This is often brought on by the experience and not the way I am naturally.
I think I'm pretty straight forward. I want love and comfort. I want food and entertainment. I want to relax mentally and physically.
But right now, what I need, is to get some milk and some cat food to tide us over until the next shop. I'm the only one in the house drinking milk at the moment. I wish I and others wrote more and I wish I read more. As a relic of the late 90's I may do more reading and writing now that I have the fancy phone which I think I should have had in the 80's around the time the Empire Strikes Back came out. I should have an R2 unit and a lightsaber by now, not worrying about money because computers and mathematical models would have rendered poverty history without depriving anyone of dreams and enterprise.
Dare I leave this public? Yeah, why not, this time. Off for milk, cat food and mood enhancers, probably in the form of peanut butter cups, if they are available.