i think i, i think i'm gonna be sick
I can't decide if this spot on my wrist is a scratch or another mark to be concerned about. Today it looks like it's healing, but occasionally the *other* one blanches, too. I suppose I will just keep an eye on it until Wednesday when I have the actual lesion removed. In a fit of paranoia I have started a list of various spots on my body to be concerned about. Probably I am making a big deal out of very little, but I can't help being a little terrified.
Jumping rails, Zazzy hit me up again a few months ago and we've been speaking fairly regularly over the phone. It's been really nice, although it causes me to revisit the past and feel old. This is nothing new; I've been complaining of feeling old probably since I turned 16. Every year it just becomes a little more true. I have always been one to dwell in the past. It seems impossible for me to concentrate on the present or future for more than brief moments. This is one of the main causes of my emotional problems, and I know this but choose to do nothing about it. For example, if I let sleeping dogs lie, then I would not allow myself to be bothered by a certain person's apparent disinterest in our friendship despite tearful conversations in which the importance of remaining my friend was a main topic. Thinking on it does little but disgust and irritate me.
Lest one think I have spent the majority of these past months moping, let it be known that I've been having a pretty good time. It is a fact that when one's friends are all prettier than oneself, one never lacks for inspiration for those small, secret smiles.
Jumping rails, Zazzy hit me up again a few months ago and we've been speaking fairly regularly over the phone. It's been really nice, although it causes me to revisit the past and feel old. This is nothing new; I've been complaining of feeling old probably since I turned 16. Every year it just becomes a little more true. I have always been one to dwell in the past. It seems impossible for me to concentrate on the present or future for more than brief moments. This is one of the main causes of my emotional problems, and I know this but choose to do nothing about it. For example, if I let sleeping dogs lie, then I would not allow myself to be bothered by a certain person's apparent disinterest in our friendship despite tearful conversations in which the importance of remaining my friend was a main topic. Thinking on it does little but disgust and irritate me.
Lest one think I have spent the majority of these past months moping, let it be known that I've been having a pretty good time. It is a fact that when one's friends are all prettier than oneself, one never lacks for inspiration for those small, secret smiles.