take this to heart
i got home, maybe around 10:30 and no one was home. i closed all the blinds, turned on some lights and sat down. gio came take pick up some tickets eventually and it was cool seeing him again. after that though, maybe an hour later, my uncle came home. also known as the step-father.
he walks in and right away i could tell he was pissed off by the fact that there were quite a few lights turned on around the living and family room area. the light to the stairway, the light of the kitchen, maybe the light near the bathroom, and the light of the living room i was in.
he turns off the light near the bathroom and i heard the old, "tss" sound people make when they're mad.
"you turn on all the lights" he says angrily. "you know we're paying $250 a month just for electricity?!"
i didn't say anything. he walks around turning off the lights. i could feel the tension he was building, or whatever.
as he's walking down there, all disappointed and irritated, i project my voice further so he could hear it and said "i'm sorry uncle". not in a remorseful tone, but more of a "what did i do I'm really curious but I'll say sorry anyway for respect"
i continue and say "i don't use the lights that much. what do you mean $250? i'm never hear on the weekends and i stay in my room all day. and i'm always out." i don't say all that in a mocking tone either. i made sure it stayed objective.
he gets pissed off, his usual filipino self and wants to have the last word - i could tell.
"we are paying $250 a month for the electricity bill. you always turn on all the lights here; you're wasting electricity" he continues to yell, and responds to me, "you play your guitar here; you and your friends in the garage every day!"
now, unless playing guitars in the garage - 2-3 amps probably 3-4 times a week for an average of about 3 hours (and that's not consecutively) eats up a lot of electricity, then this guy is shooting out his blame with a blindfold.
and before i did this for the month of February, i never even arrived at home till around 9:00pm every day (weekly averaging 4 times a week, too).
and where am I on the weekdays starting at 10:00am (and me sleeping until 9:00am) ? school.
where am I on the weekends? in Antioch.
where am I, for the most part, when I am home in American Canyon? in my room.
of course, arguing all of that would not accomplish anything with these people here. my mother, that guy. it's an argument where they (them) rely completely on emotional and value or moral appeals rather than the logic that should guide them in leading an argument.
look at it this way: how will I ever know I am doing something wrong, when they have never taught me, or warned me? was I brought up as a child to learn how to conserve electricity? and to practice it? hell, they don't even talk about that around me or to me. and they expect me to know. they expect the child to show respect in a number of ways you can't imagine, and to juggle these different responsibilities you would have never come across with, with all the things that already run through a teenager's mind.
he's still yelling. "that's your problem. you don't take initiative. you're stupid."
"i'm stupid?"
"yeah, you're stupid. you don't know anything."
i told him that i'd remember that.
i could say he might have been having a bad day.
but if all my mom is ever going to do is
me: "mom, i got accepted to long beach."
her: "___"
me:"mom, do you know that i have to pay for college"
her:"who's going to pay for it"
her:"why don't you ever do anything around the house"
(how would I know? how can you EXPECT me to know? i do little things now regardless: wash the dishes, clean my room, keep the garage clean)
she complains. all the time. she has nothing else to say. literally. i can't think of a single time she said anything positive right now.
and my uncle (the step-father) never says
"hi" when he comes home, or just when we come pass each other. we barely talk. i don't take any initiative to talk to him.
he's the adult. he's in his 40's. he needs to work on his language towards a young kid, and being more responsible when it comes to taking initiative to saying "hello". come on, suck in your pride, i haven't lived as long as you did to learn life's lessons.
too bad these Filipino traditional beliefs of respecting your parents doesn't make much sense after it crosses the line.
and too bad. there's no use in arguing with facts. they just want to be dramatic and get the last word. hey, all the Filipino movies out there (ok, majority) are all dramatic - complete with yelling, tears, and love and family included. is it the genes? /sarcasm.
oh, and they say, "whatever" (that's another Filipino thing). "go with the flow" and "it's your problem; not mine."
living here in AC is difficult when you have to live up to expectations - ones that you honestly had no clue in the first place.
"respecting your parents" is a good one. a good broad one.
and get this: they wonder why I'm never around.
he walks in and right away i could tell he was pissed off by the fact that there were quite a few lights turned on around the living and family room area. the light to the stairway, the light of the kitchen, maybe the light near the bathroom, and the light of the living room i was in.
he turns off the light near the bathroom and i heard the old, "tss" sound people make when they're mad.
"you turn on all the lights" he says angrily. "you know we're paying $250 a month just for electricity?!"
i didn't say anything. he walks around turning off the lights. i could feel the tension he was building, or whatever.
as he's walking down there, all disappointed and irritated, i project my voice further so he could hear it and said "i'm sorry uncle". not in a remorseful tone, but more of a "what did i do I'm really curious but I'll say sorry anyway for respect"
i continue and say "i don't use the lights that much. what do you mean $250? i'm never hear on the weekends and i stay in my room all day. and i'm always out." i don't say all that in a mocking tone either. i made sure it stayed objective.
he gets pissed off, his usual filipino self and wants to have the last word - i could tell.
"we are paying $250 a month for the electricity bill. you always turn on all the lights here; you're wasting electricity" he continues to yell, and responds to me, "you play your guitar here; you and your friends in the garage every day!"
now, unless playing guitars in the garage - 2-3 amps probably 3-4 times a week for an average of about 3 hours (and that's not consecutively) eats up a lot of electricity, then this guy is shooting out his blame with a blindfold.
and before i did this for the month of February, i never even arrived at home till around 9:00pm every day (weekly averaging 4 times a week, too).
and where am I on the weekdays starting at 10:00am (and me sleeping until 9:00am) ? school.
where am I on the weekends? in Antioch.
where am I, for the most part, when I am home in American Canyon? in my room.
of course, arguing all of that would not accomplish anything with these people here. my mother, that guy. it's an argument where they (them) rely completely on emotional and value or moral appeals rather than the logic that should guide them in leading an argument.
look at it this way: how will I ever know I am doing something wrong, when they have never taught me, or warned me? was I brought up as a child to learn how to conserve electricity? and to practice it? hell, they don't even talk about that around me or to me. and they expect me to know. they expect the child to show respect in a number of ways you can't imagine, and to juggle these different responsibilities you would have never come across with, with all the things that already run through a teenager's mind.
he's still yelling. "that's your problem. you don't take initiative. you're stupid."
"i'm stupid?"
"yeah, you're stupid. you don't know anything."
i told him that i'd remember that.
i could say he might have been having a bad day.
but if all my mom is ever going to do is
me: "mom, i got accepted to long beach."
her: "___"
me:"mom, do you know that i have to pay for college"
her:"who's going to pay for it"
her:"why don't you ever do anything around the house"
(how would I know? how can you EXPECT me to know? i do little things now regardless: wash the dishes, clean my room, keep the garage clean)
she complains. all the time. she has nothing else to say. literally. i can't think of a single time she said anything positive right now.
and my uncle (the step-father) never says
"hi" when he comes home, or just when we come pass each other. we barely talk. i don't take any initiative to talk to him.
he's the adult. he's in his 40's. he needs to work on his language towards a young kid, and being more responsible when it comes to taking initiative to saying "hello". come on, suck in your pride, i haven't lived as long as you did to learn life's lessons.
too bad these Filipino traditional beliefs of respecting your parents doesn't make much sense after it crosses the line.
and too bad. there's no use in arguing with facts. they just want to be dramatic and get the last word. hey, all the Filipino movies out there (ok, majority) are all dramatic - complete with yelling, tears, and love and family included. is it the genes? /sarcasm.
oh, and they say, "whatever" (that's another Filipino thing). "go with the flow" and "it's your problem; not mine."
living here in AC is difficult when you have to live up to expectations - ones that you honestly had no clue in the first place.
"respecting your parents" is a good one. a good broad one.
and get this: they wonder why I'm never around.