they say the good die young.

[justin2042]

the past 24 hours of my life have been the most frustrating emotional roller coaster ive ever experienced. i feel at this point so cold, hurt, and worthless. i feel angry, frustrated, and confused. my life has been a series of friendships that grow into something more. i get emotionally attached and then suddenly its over. every time its like a knife to my heart. every time it takes away from who i am. it gets harder and harder to care for people. why should i care about people? it feels great for a couple months, years, whatever, then im right back where i started before except with a piece of my pride ripped away. ive never wanted coke so bad in my life. i could easily have a few hours of fun and then just end it all. this isnt worth it anymore. it hurts too bad every time this happens. people say think of your friends, how would they feel. does it matter how they feel? its your life and to think that you're just living it for your friends just makes everything that much worse.

i guess there isnt a place for me on this planet. how hard is it to find a girl that wants someone who will always treat them well, always want to be with them, always be ready to comfort them no matter the situation. someone who wont ever hit them, yell at them, or anything. someone who will try to understand them and always do what they can to make them happy. thats all i have to give. i dont know how to half ass something with a girl, i only give it my all. in the end i'm going to pay for it with my life.